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May 2016 Moms
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"You're just hormonal!"

valerie4786valerie4786 member
in May 2016 Moms

Is anyone else sick of hearing this?  Believe me, no one is more aware than me that I am hormonal...especially considering I can cry at the sight of a leaf blowing in the wind or my cat puking in the yard.  But I feel like people just dismiss how I'm genuinely feeling by saying this - especially men who have no clue! 

A little background...My family has been going through a lot of legal problems over the past two or so years, resulting in my sister going to prison this past October.  I feel like I've really been pulled into the middle of it because I'm a social worker and I'm the "sensible one"...so anytime my sister had a crisis, a family member needed some sense talked into my sister, or they just needed to vent about the whole situation, I was the one who was called.  I've really been struggling with my relationship with my mom because she has been so focused on my sister that I've really felt like the forgotten daughter - granted I get that my sister's in need of a lot of support.  So I've gotten pretty resentful about this over the past two years, partly because I've accomplished a lot over the past two years (marriage, successful career, Master's degree, and now I'm KU!) and it's barely been acknowledged by my mother.  So yesterday I'm talking with a male family friend and explaining how I'm frustrated with my mom and in the middle of our conversation he calls my mom and says "Valerie...hormonal!  9 months!  She needs love.  Hormonal, 9 months, just love her." then hangs up and kept bringing the conversation back to my sister in prison.  It just really felt like he dismissed my feelings and chalked them up to my hormones, then basically implied that I need to be more compassionate to my sister and mom. 

He isn't the first male to dismiss my feelings by saying I'm hormonal, but it really irritates me and sends me into a legit crazy hormonal rage whenever I'm told this!  Anyone else struggling with this or any experienced moms have any recommendations on how to deal with this without telling someone to F--k off?  I would love to say that to these people, but the backlash of saying that is last thing I want to deal with.

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Re: "You're just hormonal!"

  • LemmyRNLemmyRN member
    I would have a response prepared since they seem so quick to be dismissive of you. Something like "you are being so rude, I don't know why I'm wasting my time talking to you." Your feelings count. Yes your sister is going through tough times, but it sounds like you are doing everything you can to help her; don't need your own life to take a backseat.
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  • kbrands7kbrands7 member
    edited November 2015
    I agree with PPs. I'm sorry that you have so much stress being deflected onto you. Your feelings are valid regardless of hormones. Hormones don't change how we feel so much as magnify what we feel. His dismissal of your emotions on the basis of hormones is ridiculous and rude--even if he was ultimately trying to help.
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  • TheThornBirdTheThornBird member
    Ha, ironic you're hearing this from men. If there is a sex that is ruled by their hormones, it's definitely not women.....testosterone is a hormone, too =\



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  • dsmith211dsmith211 member
    My DH says this to me sometimes too... Then 2 seconds later realizes what he says and ends up feeling bad. It's funny too bc he acts pretty hormonal himself. I feel like I'm the calm one lately compared to him.
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  • sosweet487sosweet487 member
    I actually just got out of a meeting with my supervisor. She was asking if I was okay and stated that I have been a bit moody. She said she told me that she tells people who mentioned my attitude last week that I'm "just pregnant and hormonal."

    I did have a pretty bad day last Thursday. I found out that there was a huge mess-up at work that resulted in me sending out a couple rude emails (which I admit they were on the bitchy side). But my supervisor has had more meltdowns than me and is known as the office bitch. No one ever asks her if she is on her period when she goes off. Same goes with the president of the company... he sends out numerous irate emails to staff members and no one asks him if he is "hormonal."

    Ugh...
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  • amscapeamscape member
    I'm sorry you're dealing with your sisters mess (& everyone else on top of it). 2 years is a long time.

    As far as the "You're just hormonal" I've found if I warn my husband when I'm crabby/hormonal then the rest of the time it's mostly assumed I'm not. This has worked so far, I'd say.
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  • doozer1345doozer1345 member
    edited November 2015
    DH tried the hormonal thing on me once. He said I was hormonal... I said he had a big ass red mark on the back of his head. I know one statement became true.

    ETA: No one else has said the H word to me but for me I would give them a taste of hormonal and see which one they actually like better. I get more of the "I don't give 2 craps about whatever negativity you're wanting to put on me" when I'm pg.
    image
    Been married since 2009.
    Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
    Several MCs
    DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)



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  • valerie4786valerie4786 member
    Thanks all for the support and advice! Luckily my husband knows better than to say this to me, otherwise he'd be sorry! I feel like when I'm around other people I'm not normally hormonal, it's normally just when I'm by myself and the random tears come or I get stuck in my head too much. So these guys telling me I'm hormonal really don't have any grounds to be saying this and DEFINITELY haven't seen me hormonal! You wanna see hormonal, I'll give you hormonal! :))
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