Missing my old self before baby

katiebepres · November 2015

I'm 32 weeks pregnant and lately I've been missing myself? If that makes sense. Before baby I was a hardcore gym fanatic and always active, in really good shape. I've had to slow down since getting pregnant and of course have gained weight. I miss being able to go work out to de stress and feeling confident and sexy. I'm not sure about anyone else but I miss my old body even though I know it's doing beautiful things. I miss being able to have a girls night out and having a few drinks, just the little things. Now it seems my social life has slowed down, my sex life has definitely slowed down and I don't have my favorite hobby anymore to decompress. Wondering if anyone else if having some of the same feelings? I feel awful for feelings so blah about this last trimester.

smkerr14 · November 2015

Amen sister! I feel so alone and lost about myself. I've always wanted to be a mom and don't get me wrong she is already such a blessing, but I miss my old body, workout routine, and sex drive!(sorry if tmi!) I think it's hitting me now because it feels like I've been forever pregnant. Counting down the days to meet our sweet little girl. Good luck!

katiebepres · November 2015

So comforting to hear someone else is having the same thoughts! Thanks for the reply. Good luck to you as well

Kelley421 · November 2015

My DH said "you've been wanting to be pregnant for 2 years and you're already tired of it?"
Yes. I am. I want and love my babies but my body is ready to love them on the outside!
(No I don't want them to come right now. I'd rather be blah for another couple months than have really early babies)

maureenmce · November 2015

Oh my gosh, don't feel bad about that at all! I feel like pregnancy lasts FOREVER and I definitely miss being able to workout like I used to, have a glass of wine and a scalding hot bath after a long day of work, etc. My social life has 100% slowed down because I'm so tired in the evenings and I have definitely been feeling lonely. I mean don't get me wrong, I am so thrilled to be lucky enough to get pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy so far, but I think it's natural to have a bit of mourning while you're sacrificing your body and some of your favorite fun things to bring a little one into the world!

JAGClark · November 2015

I just talked to my hubby about this yesterday. I told him I have never felt more sad, miserable and lonely my entire life, but, at the same time, I am just over the moon excited to be a mama and meet my baby!

mesamyt · November 2015

You are not the only one. Both hubby and I dislike myself when I'm pregnant. Life in general becomes a lot more difficult. I'm more crazy, neurotic, irritable, and emotional when pregnant. I feel like I'm trapped in a body that isn't mine. I can't move as fast as I would like, do things I use to be able to do, or tolerate food like I once did. No to mention every inch of my body is in some form of pain or another. And sex? Forget about it. I don't feel sexy, and hubby doesn't feel comfortable...you know. I know that being pregnant and being able to carry a child to term is an amazing blessing. I've just never been a fan. I don't like being pregnant and I won't miss it. I can't wait to meet my new littlest and start the journey to getting back to myself.

Theliops · November 2015

You're not alone! I wasn't a very fit person but I miss just being able to clean the house without it taking three days, or being able to bend over and pick up stuff off the floor, have a beer when I want, and I miss eating like a normal person! I can't fit as much food in anymore so I have to eat slowly or I'll barf.

I definitely don't want my babies to arrive early, I can handle this for as long as it takes... But oh man, I can't wait to feel like a normal person.

EmmyMommy123 · November 2015

Yep! Totally understand feeling not yourself.

I generally do love being pregnant, but yesterday I had the first experience of really feeling like I was no longer "me" and I hated it. I'm independent and I feel great when I can plan and complete projects on my own. One thing I've been working on for a while now is the nursery and I ordered furniture that finally arrived yesterday. I've been really excited to assemble it myself (I don't know why but I love assembling furniture) and after doing only one piece my body was completely ruined last night and still today. I just wanted to break down in tears feeling like my body is failing me! Having to depend on someone else to do the job for me drives me crazy. With that I've felt like my pregnancy brain is making me into an idiot and things that have always come easily to me are randomly challenging and I hate feeling stupid.

Rant over. Sigh! I love this little alien but not so much the complete alien takeover he's causing!

holocene · November 2015

I feel you, girl. It's hard! After the baby is born, you do get the physical relief, but things are never truly the same. Not worse, or better - just different. The transition from a woman to a mother is a tough one. Rewarding, yes - but hard none the less.

I have officially reached the point where I can't lean over the pottery wheel anymore. I cried in the bath for an hour.

MamaHolland · November 2015

Thanks for post, you aren't the only one. I wish I could do more but I'm just wiped out. I can physically do what I use to. I'm hoping my energy comes back after birth so that I can keep up with baby.

ChrissyD1203 · November 2015

I feel the same exact way about every word you wrote.

lrayas · November 2015

Yup. It really hit me a few days ago. I'm a natural workaholic. Nowadays, I can barely make it throughout the day. I just don't feel like my old self and it's frustrating. I miss being able to move around quickly and with ease. I'm always out of breath now! I also miss wine. Yet, I'm sure I'm going to miss being pregnant and feeling those baby kicks inside me! I think it's normal to feel this way the closer we get to our due dates. I'm feeling especially "pregnant" now at 29 weeks. And by "pregnant" I mean I feel huge and uncomfortable :-/

hannahduff3 · November 2015

EmmyMommy123 said:
(I don't know why but I love assembling furniture)

I love it too!!

lwebley · November 2015

I feel the same way... And I remember feeling like this with my first. I think the hardest thing for me is that I didn't feel back to "normal" until my son was about 6 months. The good news is that we will all be there soon. I know it's beautiful and we are lucky, but pregnancy is hard.

abodenmiller · November 2015

Oh boy! I SO know what you mean. I don't even recognize myself anymore. I used to feel really guilty for feeling this way, but I did some research and found out that feeling this way (detached from self, self-loathing during pregnancy) is super common! I then decided that there is nothing wrong at all with hating pregnancy. It doesn't mean I hate my baby - in fact, I'm obsessed with her already! That being said, pregnancy itself is horrible. I've lost all of my confidence and never feel good. I've always been slim and trim and I can't handle the dimples that have magically appeared on my thighs. I also think that social media and the celebrity culture don't help much because we get this image of a woman staying in perfect miraculous shape except for one tiny perfectly round belly during pregnancy, and that's not real life! Thank goodness, my husband has been extremely supportive and tells me I'm crazy for thinking I look ugly. I just can't wait for the pregnancy to be over so that I can find myself again. There are SO many things that need accomplished in my house that I simply can't get to because I'm stuck doing simple things like folding the 6 baskets of laundry that I ran out of energy for the day before. Anyway - I could go on for days! Needless to say, we totally know how you feel!

From one prego to another, here's a hug, we will be back to ourselves soon!!! Hang in there and focus on the future!

carlyhammond · November 2015

I understand, I have never been "healthy or fit" but I understand.
I catch myself thinking "I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore" then I get upset for even thinking it.
I want to be able to do things myself again, I want my energy back, I want to be able to walk around without getting dizzy or out of breath or worn out from just walking around the grocery store.
I want to be able to enjoy sex again. (It's too painful). I want to have my appetite back... I want to be able to fit into my clothes again ---- and I want my feet to not be too fat/puffy to fit into my boots...

But, I'm sure that like many have said before me.. When baby comes I'll miss feeling him move inside me, and being able to hear his heartbeat on the fetal Doppler at the doctor- I cried about this the other day.. Pretty soon, I'll only be able to feel his heart beating, not be able to hear it loud and clear....

I want me back...
Also, pre-pregnancy I was NOT emotional, I rarely ever cried.. Now, I cry all the time- not for any reason sometimes... I ..just...cry...

maureenmce · November 2015

Oh, I am SO connecting with this post today! Last night I walked, just briskly WALKED on the treadmill and I had a little pain in my side. I decided it was due to having a big glass of water right before getting on the treadmill, but I kept going because I was just walking damn it! Well, pushing through instead of stopping ended up starting a muscle spasm in my side that lasted until 3:30 in the morning. I remember pouting to my husband "my pre pregnancy body would never have done this to me!" Sigh.

12 weeks to go.

scornwell717 · November 2015

I find myself frequently looking at pictures of my pre-pregnancy body and wondering why I always thought I was "fat", when in reality I cannot wait to have that body back! I'm hoping that once I go back to my normal self I'll appreciate my body a little more.
Not to mention, I work in a boutique that sells ADORABLE clothes and I want to be able to wear them!
I totally agree with this thread and all the PPs!

klbh · November 2015

Oh my goodness, totally! I miss exercising like crazy and then hanging out in the sauna and going home for a beer or a whiskey. I miss my sex drive. Heck, even cuddling gets on my nerves after a few minutes now--I feel so easily overstimulated or uncomfortable. I miss moving through the world easily and wearing my real clothes. I miss my emotional equilibrium. The next 11 weeks can't pass quickly enough for my taste! I'm so excited to see and hold my little one--and then, after we get to know each other and establish a bit of a routine, to have someone else hold him for a while.

ashleyfowee · November 2015

This is the first step into mommy guilt. I want my body back, but I also am ecstatic to carry this precious baby. Newborn stage: I can't wait until he sleeps through the night, but I love baby snuggles so much. One yo: I can't wait until he can tell me what he wants, but I love when he discovers a new word everyday.

Every stage is a phase. It doesn't last long. There are positives and negatives with each phase. Try not to beat yourself up for not enjoying every second of each phase. It's normal. Embrace the good, know the negative feelings are normal and tell yourself it's only temporary.

I've had some guilt about wishing away this pregnancy. It's harder to enjoy when my 3 yo needs me so much. But I know in 6 months I'll look back at this time and think 'wasn't that magical?!'

mamabear89071516 · November 2015

Thank you for posting this! I had a dream the other night about wearing tight jeans! Stupid I know... I like others have said have never been slim n trim, but I miss long walks in the woods with my husband and dog after work, and being able to clean like a madwoman for a few hours and be done. I cried to DH the other day saying I wish I was done being pregnant, but even then things will be different. I've wanted this baby my whole life and wouldn't change it for the world, but it's really nice to see other women feeling less than glowing about being pregnant! I just want to sleep on my stomach!!!

jencook25 · November 2015

Yesterday was by far one of my most uncomfortable days yet. I almost felt panicked or clostrophobic (somehow!) that I didnt know how on earth I was going to get through the next 8 weeks.
I had a suprisingly good sleep last night, and woke up this morning feeling pretty good! No breath taking kicks in the vag, baby didnt feel like it was trying to claw its way out, felt like i could actually walk without having to keep my knees together from SPD. Then by morning tea i realised bub was quiet. And got worried something had gone wrong. All I wanted was to feel that discomfort again, and know bub was fine in there!! Now the kicks and discomfort have started again, and for now Im blissfully happy. But im sure in 24 hours the happyness will turn back to grumbling.
... Whoever said pregnancy was a beautiful thing, has clearly never been pregnant. Its such a confusing/emotional rollercoaster!!

EmmyMommy123 · November 2015

@jencook25 Oh I so understand this. When babe is kicking me at night I just think "pleasssse go to sleep I just want to sleep!!!" And then the next time I wake up and don't feel him, I'm panicked until he kicks. Insanity.

maureenmce · November 2015

@jencook25 I totally hear you! Baby decided to go crazy with kicks last night when I was trying to sleep and then with huge kicks this morning about an hour before I had to wake up and I was so tired and grumpy about it that I called her kicks annoying... and then immediately was afraid I somehow jinxed myself or something and she'd stop moving, and then I felt terrified. Which is insane! And completely illogical! But yes it is quite the roller coaster of emotions.

rdupre5 · November 2015

I completely understand. I'm going through the same exact thing. And sometimes I feel like it's hard to talk to my husband because he doesn't understand, he's still able to work out and do everything just as before haha after all, I'm the one pregnant. I was whining to him last night I sure hope I don't get any bigger

I'm 31 weeks & totally ready to get back to my normal self. Like pp said, I'm so ready to hold my baby, but want him to stay put for a little longer at the same time! Lol I just keep thinking about the end result, but sometimes it seems it can't come fast enough.

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