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September 2015 Moms
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Cry it out

rachellegiaccorachellegiacco member
in September 2015 Moms
Those that plan on doing or already do the cry out method how old were your LO when you started?

My DD is getting into a habit of hysterical crying unless I'm holding her and walking. I can't even sit and hold her for some reason. I know she is fine and that is all she wants but I also have a hard time just leaving her to cry at only 6wks.
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Re: Cry it out

  • chelseajeanenechelseajeanene member
    I feel at this stage they cry because they need something and I won't let him cry it out for quite a few months. I don't just to his rescue the second he starts crying though, I wait a minuet to see if he's just gassy and it'll pass. If he continues to cry more then a min I go get him
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  • FinalyFoundFinalyFound member
    6wks is too young for CIO. With DD I think she was around 8-9 months before we attempted the CIO method.
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  • laurapaine2003@yahoo.comlaurapaine2003@yahoo.com member
    Is it because of gas? Or colic? Maybe there is another solution?
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  • Kayciejoe56Kayciejoe56 member
    I agree with all the pp. Its too young to cio for long periods, but sometimes you just have to go to the bathroom! Even though I never thought I'd be a big baby wearer, my ergo has really saved my life! Makes getting chores done possible on clingy, fussy days.

    We do a little bit of CIO, in the car, because LO hates his car seat (or just being alone in the back) and I refuse to just stay home. I make sure he is clean and fed, and just ride it out. He has a mirror, I try talking to him, and offer a paci at every red light, but for the most part... he cries most of the ride. Best thing ever when I can get him to sleep, right before we leave the house lol!
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  • rachellegiaccorachellegiacco member
    Thanks everyone! I started the cry it out method with my son way too late and I got him into bad habits that only made more work for me later on. So I am just worried to do the same thing this time, I agree with all of you. I think I may have to buy a baby carrier just so I can make dinner with two hands again.
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  • louiser210591louiser210591 member
    My daughter is the same sometimes. Usually at night when she's crying she only calms when you stand up or walk with her but even when she nods off and you sit down she'll wake up straight away and start crying. I never leave her to cry but sometimes I have to if I need the toilet or need to get dressed
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  • buckleykbuckleyk member
    I don't think CIO is intended for younger than 6 months.
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  • Knottie1457011059Knottie1457011059 member
    I was just at my pediatrician talking about how he won't sleep in the crib and only with me. She said to let him cry and go in and reassure him and leave. He's never going to get used to it if you don't. She said the is no exact time when to let them cio.. It's all personal preference, because if they are fed, burped and changed then they don't need anything and are okay to cry. I'm going back to work and the whole staying up all night with him isn't healthy for either of us. Every doctor has there own preference so this is just hers. My mom had to do the same with me and I'm okay so if I have to let him cio I'm okay with it as long as he's okay.
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  • MiromiMMiromiM member
    I was planning on it around 4 months if need be. That's the time her dr suggested starting if we wanted to. By this time, babies can start to self soothe and they are starting to have adult-like sleep rhythms. That being said, I do let my baby (8 weeks) fuss now for about 2 minutes. The problem is that she's a noisy sleeper and is starting to wake after 45 mins. I've found that rushing in there right away is counter productive. Often she is squealing in her sleep or puts herself back to sleep right away. If I'm in there waking her up, all I get is an over stimulated, exhausted baby.
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  • jennahkrossjennahkross member
    @Kayciejoe56 my LO is the same way! Every red light she cries!
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  • cmlsucmlsu member
    I've already done a modified cry it out, under pediatrician's advice (LO is 9 weeks old). I'm back at work and we all need our sleep. My LO is fine, does self soothe, and still is a happy baby in her crib from 730 ish to 7 ish. My nieces are both happy, well adjusted children. My cousins are happy and have good sleep habits.My pedi's kids are wonderful young adults that's I've known my whole life. I understand the research and the psychological studies, and made the choice to go this direction. She didn't even really cry much, so maybe I'm lucky. And I know the difference between her cries. Regardless, for our family, it is the right choice, and I don't feel ashamed or less of a nurturing mother because of it.
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  • jen83mnjen83mn member
    jennahkross said:

    @Kayciejoe56 my LO is the same way! Every red light she cries!

    Usually my little guy doesn't mind car rides, but when he happens to be fussy in the car I find myself slowing down way before the red light so I can inch ahead going 1 mile an hour until the light changes and saves us, lol. They need to make a "baby vibration" button on cars.
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  • TabulaRasa25TabulaRasa25 member
    From a developmental standpoint, newborns really aren't able to self-soothe with any consistency or in any lasting, meaningful way, so the cry-it-out techniques aren't the most appropriate at that developmental stage (yes, I know, some people find them to work and will use them...their choice.  Personal preference is what it is).  For myself, based on my training and background (developmental psych), I'm not inclined to use it with an infant.  This is a stage where trust and bond establishment are key, and that makes it important that a very young baby learns that when he or she is in distress, someone is there to comfort and soothe. 

    Do you need to pick a baby up with every sound he or she makes?  Nah. Some distress is momentary, a la a gas bubble that gets quickly passed, etc.  And sometimes, you'll need to take a shower, use the toilet, or do dishes, or whatever it is that you need two hands for that won't work to have a baby strapped to you in a carrier or wrap. Sometimes, you'll be on a car trip, and stopping and unbuckling and rocking and soothing isn't feasible.  Sometimes, the baby will cry.  It happens.  But there's no really compelling reason to leave a very young infant to cry for lengthy stretches without soothing in instances where you could easily do so. They're just not equipped for that kind of self-soothing, yet. 
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  • tlc11934tlc11934 member
    I don't support the CIO method at any age. When DD fusses and I need a break I put her in her swing and she goes for a ride. Usually after 10 min or so she's sleeping and she always stops crying within a minute of swinging.
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  • rachellegiaccorachellegiacco member
    @cmlsu I agree, how long do you let your LO cry? my LO is good during the day to be sitting alone or with her brother while I start laundry or something but idk what happens when the sun goes down I have a totally different baby
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  • kanga915kanga915 member
    tlc11934 said:

    I don't support the CIO method at any age. When DD fusses and I need a break I put her in her swing and she goes for a ride. Usually after 10 min or so she's sleeping and she always stops crying within a minute of swinging.

    Consider yourself lucky your LO likes the swing. Mine hates it, the bouncer, and all three carriers.
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  • Sully3302Sully3302 member
    kanga915 said:

    tlc11934 said:

    I don't support the CIO method at any age. When DD fusses and I need a break I put her in her swing and she goes for a ride. Usually after 10 min or so she's sleeping and she always stops crying within a minute of swinging.

    Consider yourself lucky your LO likes the swing. Mine hates it, the bouncer, and all three carriers.
    Mine likes her bouncy seat... But not the swing, moby or ergo. She doesn't mind the stroller, but she doesn't sleep and I just makes her overtired
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  • cmlsucmlsu member
    edited November 2015
    @rachellegiacco I didn't use a set amount of time, though I was told 15 minutes. What I did was listen to the tones of her cries and try to avoid her melting down. I will pat her, shush her, put her on her side and kind of rock her, but I tried to only stay in for 30 seconds and as soon as she was calming down tell her goodnight and get back out of there. I started by focusing on putting her down at 10, feeding her at 3, & getting up at 7, which was a schedule she put herself on loosely. I'll admit I never had much of an issue with putting her down. The first night I didn't even have to go in and calm her (lucky lucky, I know). Where I had the most trouble was helping her through the feeding. She woke up at 4 wanting food, and I finally caved and fed her at 530 because I couldn't keep her from going into melt down mode. The next night she still woke up but went back to sleep without much ado, and ever since then she still wakes up around 3 and will kick get feet around for a bit and go back to sleep. Then I moved her bedtime up to stressing the feeding at 7 pm and putting her down anywhere from 730 to 8. I keep the schedule loosely. She woke up early yesterday (545) and I tried to help get go back to sleep but ended up getting her out of bed at 615, but today I had to wake her up at 715 or I was going to be late for work! Some days, she's not in bed until 830 because she has a long feeding and then she seems like she needs to play for a bit and get some energy out. It's kind of baby led, but within the parameters I've set. My sister was much more harsh, and literally let them cry for 15 minutes, go in for 30 seconds, another 15 minutes, etc, no caving unless it's within 30 minutes of the normal time. Her kids are great but I want comfortable with that level of rigidity. Hope you find what's going to work for you and your family. ETA I re read and think that it sounds like she never cried, but that's not true. It's hard, and she cried a lot. I questioned what I was doing. But on the third night, each time, is when we turned the corner. Now it's routine and I can function again. We all know what to expect and we all get rest and quality time.
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  • ElleMF728ElleMF728 member
    edited November 2015
    Sully3302 said:
    I don't support the CIO method at any age. When DD fusses and I need a break I put her in her swing and she goes for a ride. Usually after 10 min or so she's sleeping and she always stops crying within a minute of swinging.
    Consider yourself lucky your LO likes the swing. Mine hates it, the bouncer, and all three carriers.
    Mine likes her bouncy seat... But not the swing, moby or ergo. She doesn't mind the stroller, but she doesn't sleep and I just makes her overtired
    Mine hates the swing and his carseat, loves the bouncy...go figure.  My first would only nap in a swing. I do think the car seat thing changes as they get older though, DS1 hated it until he was about 4 months. 

    ETA: Though I prefer not to use CIO methods at all and definitely not before 6 months I want to point out that CIO at bedtime is totally different IMO then using it to drop a feed.  I don't agree with letting LO cry when they are legitimately hungry (which they are frequently at this age). I would personally use a weaning method and see how it goes.  

    When I wanted DS2 to drop a feed around 7 months I started giving 5 oz at that time instead of 7, if he went back to sleep easily after 5 for a few days I moved to 3 oz.  If he struggled or woke up shortly after I took it as a sign that he needed those extra calories.  Didn't take too long and he naturally stopped waking for his second MOTN feed. 
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