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May 2016 Moms
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Embarrassing: any mom's to be dealing with spouses not wanting to have sex with you?

lpinion13lpinion13 member
in May 2016 Moms
For the past several weeks by boyfriend will tell me he wants to have sex but when it comes down to it, we never do. He either goes to sleep right away, plays on his phone/computer or stays up and sleeps in the living room. I'm feeling really unattractive and unwanted right now. I'm 11 weeks, I haven't gained much weight so it's not like my appearance has changed much. But I'm feeling very emotional about it all. I feel like I have a roommate not a spouse.
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Re: Embarrassing: any mom's to be dealing with spouses not wanting to have sex with you?

  • jaquallsjaqualls member
    Yes, both is this and my previous pregnancy. No sex the entire pregnancy. With my husband he was terrified of hurting me or my baby. I tried to reassure him but still no sex
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  • kbrands7kbrands7 member
    I understand that this can make you feel rejected, but please don't be embarrassed. I'd recommend talking to your SO to identify the underlying issue(s). Sometimes, men (or women) feel overwhelmed by pregnancy, are afraid of hurting the baby or you, or need more "warm-up" time. There are a lot of factors that can impact sex drive. 

    DH and I had this issue by the time I got to the third trimester last pregnancy. He wasn't as into sex as I was for two main reasons 1) He thought that I only wanted to do it to please him which made him feel guilty and uncomfortable. A quick conversation where he shared that, and I reassured him that if I didn't want to, I simply wouldn't bring it up, fixed that. By this time, he had realized that he wouldn't hurt the baby at least. 2) He missed the intimacy of face to face (any position like that just didn't work by month 6 or 7). This issue was more difficult to work with, but we tried to increase other sorts of intimacy like massage, cuddling, etc. to get into the mood.
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