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what kind of parent do you plan to be?

jessjess80jessjess80 member
in 3rd Trimester
I found this parenting cheat sheet:

I'm going with slow parenting. I wonder if anybody would choose to be something I totally don't agree with like a tiger mom... or choose unschooling.  
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Re: what kind of parent do you plan to be?

  • ashleyhenton83ashleyhenton83 member
    wow! not a free range mom... that's a good way to get your kids killed. I would be a positive parent or an authoritarian....but its hard to choose just one.   
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  • blended10blended10 member
    Surely this is a joke? No parent falls neatly into any of these "types" nor should they. Parenting is about flexibility & choosing the right method for your child- curtailing to each independent child's needs.
    When your child is born & you grow with them you can look fondly back at your plans and have a good chuckle.
    Sort of like a birth plan - great in theory. Good to have goals or ideas- just don't get too attached!
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  • smount2011smount2011 member
    edited November 2015

    I studied this in college.  However its not meant to pick out what kind of parent you are going to be- its meant to help you identify with your current parenting style.  And while your style fits into several categories, there is usually one that dominates over the rest. 

    ETA this is usually used in family therapy sessions to help determine needs of children that are or are not being met by the parents.

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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    i.... Don't know. I hadn't thought much past keeping her alive for the first six months. As long as her first word isn't a cuss, I'll feel like I've accomplished something.
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  • Gingermom15Gingermom15 member
    Hopefully I am a good parent who will be able to make the best choices suitable for my child's individual needs.
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  • LunaMamaSitaLunaMamaSita member
    I am the kind of gal who wants to find a happy medium between many of these styles, not so much free range they get themselves killed, but enough that they can learn some life lessons from experience. Not so much attachment parenting that they can't solve a problem on their own, but enough that they know mom will always be there to provide love support and care. I wouldn't be able or willing to completely "un-school" but my husband and I do have less faith in the public or even private school system than most. Even the mind full parenting is a little bit what we want by interpreting some things seen as "low standards" by others,as "not high maintenance" by us. This is my first child and shes not due till early next month but this is not the first thought I have put into my parenting style, any thoughts on how well I might pull this off? 
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  • MercyC1130MercyC1130 member
    Every time I read a phrase about keeping my kid alive, or something about them not getting killed, even when it's put in (even mild, harmless!) jest, I cringe.
    I just feel like it's not a phrase to openly toss around. I never realized how much people do until this year.
    I saw in front of my mom, and my dad, two separate times, someone say something along those lines and could see the heartbreak in their eyes. "Well, they're alive, we must be doing alright".
    I know two other mommas that lost their little ones due to circumstances completely out of anyone's control and could never imagine saying anything remotely close like this; the reality and reminder is just very, very real.

    Sorry for post-stealing, and this isn't meant to be snarky or anything!! Just something I've noticed on TB here and there and saw on this thread a bunch... Not trying to call anyone out and I know I might be a bit sensitive as this hits home in ways, but maybe it'll be mean something to someone. :)
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  • jessjess80jessjess80 member
    edited November 2015
    I like this just because it lets you understand what your doing better. But you cant really plan your parenting style.....I get that, its just that I want to be prepared, or at least feel prepared.    
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    MercyC1130 said:
    Every time I read a phrase about keeping my kid alive, or something about them not getting killed, even when it's put in (even mild, harmless!) jest, I cringe.
    I just feel like it's not a phrase to openly toss around. I never realized how much people do until this year.
    I saw in front of my mom, and my dad, two separate times, someone say something along those lines and could see the heartbreak in their eyes. "Well, they're alive, we must be doing alright".
    I know two other mommas that lost their little ones due to circumstances completely out of anyone's control and could never imagine saying anything remotely close like this; the reality and reminder is just very, very real.

    Sorry for post-stealing, and this isn't meant to be snarky or anything!! Just something I've noticed on TB here and there and saw on this thread a bunch... Not trying to call anyone out and I know I might be a bit sensitive as this hits home in ways, but maybe it'll be mean something to someone. :)
    No i get it. I'm only sort of joking. I worry about her all the time and keeping her alive, healthy and in one piece is a huge worry of mine. Probably mostly unfounded but, you know, it nags me. What i meant by my post was to say that I'm going to worry less about fitting into a box and mostly about the health and well being of my little girl. And because I've never done this before, I don't know how that will play out yet. So that's why i chose the words i did.
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  • tripledaggerWed95976tripledaggerWed95976 member
    Um definitely a free range parent... how will my newborn ever learn not to play with fire if he or she doesn't get burned once in a while?! Haha no but seriously, I don't think I will subscribe to any specific type of parenting.. i think doing the best I can and finding a happy medium (not an extreme on either side) sounds good to me!
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  • madisonwithersmadisonwithers member
    I just want my kid to grow up understanding that they are absolutely loved and cherished but that they are not the center of everyone's universe. If I can do that then I'll be happy.
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  • kynbar5kynbar5 member
    SarahFoley725 said:

    I plan to be the worst mom ever.

    At least that's what I anticipate hearing from my child in 14-16 years or so.

    Isn't that how you know you did it right? ;)
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  • ecwkecwk member
    Aw crap, I hadn't even though about this! Is this another thing I am supposed to know about before the birth? Am I going to have to take some sort of an exam? Do I need to do this in order to have a kid? Why didn't anyone ask me this before??!?!?!?!?!? Waaaaaaaah!! 

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  • KiekKiek member
    It's so hard to say before you actually meet your child and get to know them what is going to work best for them. I had all kinds of plans for the kind of mother I would be and then my daughter was born. She turned all those plans upside down. If I had to put a label on it, I'm probably a mix of a free range parent and a slow parent. That works best for my child who is currently thriving. This next baby? Who knows? I don't know her yet. Maybe she'll need more snuggles, want to breastfeed longer. My oldest learns best with natural consequences (within reason). She needs to know why and she needs to figure it out herself. Maybe this one will be content with listening to us. Maybe not. Won't know until I meet her :)

    So FTMs, it's okay to have a plan but don't set your heart in it! Your kid may require a totally different style! That's okay! Every kid is different :)
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