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No no no no

ashleytiffashleytiff member
in July 2015 Moms
Just heard my MIL talking to DH about possibly coming down for Christmas.

We're already spending thanksgiving with her.

Don't ruin another holiday for me.
AND WHAT ABOUT MY FAMILY?

And I told him he better not be buying her ticket because we can't afford it.
And then he says "you don't know that"

Oh okay so I'm just wearing the same two outfits because he won't give me money to buy clothes I can fit in because we can't afford it but some how can afford a plane ticket for his mom to come down during a holiday?

SHE SHOULD NOT BE ASKING FOR HIM TO BUY IT
OR ACCEPTING IF HE OFFERS.

I almost want to tell her we can't pay for her visits but I don't want to deal with the drama that will come with it.

I am so PISSED right now.
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Re: No no no no

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    audi681audi681 member
    Is your family close to you, proximity wise? Can you all spend the holidays together? I'm confused about the logistics and whether she can just third wheel it with your fam. You should not be buying her a plane ticket however. If money's tight, and babies are not cheap, def stand your ground with your husband! Best of luck!
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    n3na94n3na94 member
    Two words to your husband: PRIORITIES! and COMPROMISE! You and his baby comes first and instead of buying a ticket, he should take care of you and your little one. Then he can talk to you and compromise on spending the holidays with your family also!
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    massey25massey25 member
    All kinds of no! As calmly as you can manage( and if you explode, hey, it happens!) stand your ground. If you don't have money to get clothes that fit your changing body, then he shouldn't be buying plane tickets. Period.
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    ashleytiffashleytiff member
    @audi681 my family is about a 4 hour drive away. His is 8 hours.

    I know this sounds kinda bratty but since his fam are getting thanksgiving to themselves
    I feel like Christmas should be for my family.
    At least for this year.

    And his mom just drives me nuts haha
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    ashleytiffashleytiff member
    @Ckorines we already have to live with a roommate to afford our house. Otherwise we'd be crammed in a tiny one bedroom apartment which likely wouldn't accept a pitbull and I'm not giving my dog up. That's rude.
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    ashleytiffashleytiff member
    @n3na94 to be honest, I'm not that upset about not spending holidays with my family. I'm more upset about him possibly spending money for our family on his mom. He bought her plane ticket to my baby shower and all she bought us was a 20 dollar baby carrier that she did zero research on. It's terrible and gives no support for his legs.

    I sound like such a brat but spending more money on my sons well being/safety is worth it.
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    ashleytiffashleytiff member
    @massey25 oh I told him. I'm not even going to get into what he replied with. It will just put me in a worse mood.
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    sarahsairsairsarahsairsair member
    I feel for you... Many many Christmases have been ruined by my inlaws
    It sucks

    Most of the time nowadays my mil says she's coming and then doesn't ring and doesn't show up .... I think it's to punish us bhahahah
    Best gift ever =))
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    corndogrobotcorndogrobot member
    @ashleytiff I feel you! I'm tired of paying for my mom's ticket here too. And I just want Christmas with our little family. Not grandparents. I feel like they are always up in my face. I don't think you sound like a brat at all. You sound like me. Maybe I'm a brat too.
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    CkorinesCkorines member
    I am a brat too then! Lol
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    eyi715eyi715 member
    I know the feeling, we were at a store this past weekend and he tells me that his sister wanted a jacket for christmas. I looked at him like "ummm ok". His sister is my age, has her own husband and family and why is she telling her brother what she wants for christmas. Every year my DH and I we get presents for all of our family, his and mines we go half and half on gifts but his family is bigger but we have always been a giving people and is something that really makes us happy to do. We both always worked two jobs and longs hours so we could afford to do it but now that we have a baby I am only working one job and then he changed jobs amd is not making as much either and he has the nerve to come to me and tell me his sister wants a jacket for christmas. When he didnt even buy anything for my birthday which was 5 days after our DD was born or for our anniversary which was this past september.... Because we been tight with money. So how in the world is he thinking about christmas gifts for his sister when i didnt even get a gift!!! I told him this year we can not afford to buy gifts like we used to for past years, he said but at least we can get for our moms and siblilings, I gave him the look and said "umm not a jacket, we cant" and had to walk away because i already see a fight coming up soon about that. His priorities are still all screwed up!!! It makes me so upset that it seens like he still does not realize we should be his main priority and we are just as much of his family as his mom or sister or brother!!!
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    ashleytiffashleytiff member
    @corndogrobot @Ckorines good. I'm glad I'm not the only twat here haha
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    wheresilenceismusicwheresilenceismusic member
    We are 14 hrs from family.  Most of them (including one of the grandparents) haven't met LO yet.  So everyone's excited for our Christmas trip 'home'… except me.  If DH, LO, and I could stay in our apartment for the holidays, I would be just fine with that!!!!

    I am so sorry that that's happening to you!  Tell DH no sex until LO is 5 years old if he buys the ticket!  Tell him you already promised your family that you are going to their place for Xmas.  And tell him that if he makes decisions without your input (financial, how to spend holidays, etc.) one more time, you are taking him to see a marriage counselor.
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    NewMumzy25NewMumzy25 member
    Wow... I'm so happy DH's family and I get along so great :/. Sorry you're going through all that! We live far away fro y family and we both agree my mom is the one who drives both of us nuts. She can be very selfish and manipulative. We live 10 minutes from most of his family and a 25-30 hour drive from mine. Neither my parents and siblings, or us can afford to go to either of our places so my mom guilts me as if we should find the funds cause she's missing out on HER baby. And keeps guilting me cause we can't afford to go see them. I love my mom, but she drives me crazy, can't do more than 2 days of her and we start fighting.

    She and my two sisters and father came about 3 weeks after baby boy was born. I was still getting used to breast feeding, and having a new baby all while trying to recover from my C-Section. She got mad at me cause 3 days straight they were go go go (they're from Canada and I moved to the US to be with my hubby) so new sights. I was so fried and tired I crashed and burned and they said it was okay. She went to his circ with me and then I went home and napped with my baby. She then messages me saying maybe they should just go home since I haven't spent any time with them since they said it was okay o relaxed.... Uh okay, it took me a week to recuperate from their visit and I started bleeding from over doing it while my c section was still relatively fresh. So if my husband told me we were buying a ticket to go see her when we really cannot afford it is bitch slap him.

    You have to live your life for you and your family and everyone is second in your list now. It's not for them to decide by themselves your hubby should be deciding with you and making sure you're both in the same page. We can't afford to go see my family until tax time and even then we're just buying a house now so we already have needs for the money but we don't want them to miss out and alot of my family hasn't even met my almost 4 month old son as they all live very far and its not in the plans to visit till we can.

    Parents of all should know shit changes when you have a baby of your own. Sorry for my long rant/answer I kinda went off....
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    julzyjulzy member
    I easily could have written this post. My MIL is such a friggin taker.
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    CANTW82BMOMCANTW82BMOM member
    Omg. I feel for you. We live in NJ and are flying to SC to spend a week with DH's family. I'm not looking forward to it at all and I'm terrified my MIL is going to suggest coming to spend Christmas with us. I'm already coming up with ways to say no if it does come up. I just think if we spend Thanksgiving with his family I should be able to decide how we celebrate Christmas.
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    ashleytiffashleytiff member
    @julzy yeah he bought her ticket to my baby shower and I told him then that we can do that once the baby is here.
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    ashleytiffashleytiff member
    @NewMumzy25 @CANTW82BMOM
    When I was younger it was just my mom and us kids every holiday.

    Having a huge get together with family just isn't what I'm used to.
    I want to celebrate with my little growing family.
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