Does it really get better? — The Bump
Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Does it really get better?

I am having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. My almost 6 week old doesn't ever nap longer than 40 mins, sometimes 30. I can't put her down either. She used to sleep well at night but not recent. I am so discouraged and feel like I'm not going to be able to keep this up. My DH works 12 hour days. I'm just so tired, frustrated and lonely.

Re: Does it really get better?

  • It does, although the naps have gotten worse for me, not better. It took awhile for my little guy to get a little independent too. Around 10 weeks was when life started to get more manageable with LO. He would start to pay more attention to his surroundings and bat at things. I highly recommend some sort of play mat around that time, if you don't already have one. It was the only thing I could put my LO down on without him instantly crying. Can you wear her around the house to get whatever you need to get done?

  • Sully3302Sully3302
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited October 2015
    @SmrBrd2012 The ergo sometimes works( still short naps) bits it's so bulky to get much done or sit... and she hates the moby wrap
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  • Yeah I had a high needs newborn and I can safely say I got absolutely nothing done while I was on maternity leave, other than keeping myself and my baby alive for 12 weeks.  And occasionally laundry, once DH got home for the night.  I was actually kind of happy to come back to work - I mean I really miss LO but it's awesome to know that she's being well cared for while I act like an adult for 8 hours a day.


    At 10 weeks she started either sleeping through the night or waking up only once between 8pm and 7am, and she was sleeping in her bassinet (transitioned to the crib at 13 weeks).  And now, at 4 months, she is so much fun - so happy and active.  She did nothing but eat and scream for almost 3 solid months while I was home with her.  Around the 6 week mark, we moved naps into the quiet, darkened nursery, which seemed to help - though she would only nap on top of me in the glider.  It sucked, but I embraced it.  She still does that on weekends sometimes (if she knows I'm around she will want to nap on top of me...but if DH puts her down she will usually put herself to sleep in the crib).  At night, she falls asleep nursing and then I transfer her.  it hasn't caused any issues and she still only wakes up once MOTN, at the very most.


    A lot of kids do more frequent short naps rather than long naps.  As they get older the naps become shorter.  When LO naps for more than an hour, it's a special treat - but she'll take 3-4 naps/day that are usually around 30-45 minutes.  By 6 months, I think most kids do two naps that are 60-90 minutes long, or 3 naps if they're more like 30-45 minutes a piece.  Once you transition to one daily nap, it tends to be longer (my 2 year old nephew will sleep for 2+ hours in the middle of the day and 11 hours at night).  45 minutes is actually a pretty solid nap.  LO's sleep at 4 months is typically 6:30-7pm - 6-6:30am (with one MOTN feed about half the time), and then naps around 8:30, 11, 1:30, and 4, all about 30-45 minutes long.  As soon as she gets cranky at night we start the bedtime process, and that timing largely is based on when she woke up from her last nap of the day.  We suspect that in the coming weeks she will start dropping a nap and doing 3 daily naps consistently.

    Me: 37 DH: 37
    Married 5-31-14
    DD1 born 6-21-15
    DD2 born 6-11-17
    DS born 9-5-18

  • Around 12 weeks LO went from being a needy newborn who frequently suffered from the witching hour crying to being an adorable baby. Just in time for me to go back to work and be away from him for a large part of the day :(

  • marajay6 said:
    Around 12 weeks LO went from being a needy newborn who frequently suffered from the witching hour crying to being an adorable baby. Just in time for me to go back to work and be away from him for a large part of the day :(
    Ain't that the truth!

  • I can't put my 8 week old down very much, the ergo 360 helps me for shopping and outdoor tasks (I also have 2 horses at home). The baby ktan is great for indoor stuff like laundry, etc. Otherwise I just do short stints of her on the playmat or in the swing, hoping to increase the length of time she's down each day.
  • OP I promise it gets better. The 6 week mark is when I got super anxious and depressed with both of my kids and had to speak with my doctor about getting on meds. I started an anti-depressant after my second child was born. I'm not suggesting you do this, but just know that you aren't alone in how you are feeling. Having a baby is so much fucking harder than anyone realizes.

    If you feel like you are struggling and can't pull yourself out of it then speak with someone.


  • MelHayMelHay
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Love Its Photogenic
    edited November 2015
    Maybe it's a growth spurt? My guy wanted to be held all the time when it came to a spurt, whether it was body or brain. And he's 11 weeks old and only sleeps maybe 40 minutes if I'm lucky, usually 30 or 20. I've learned to just do things in short chunks. But he's discovered his feet so he's easily entertained by moving them back and forth in his swing while I wash dishes or get dressed.
    But in complete honesty, I had to have a mental shift in the early weeks. I had to tell myself: this is just how babies are; this is how my baby is. After I just accepted it for what it was, it didn't seem so overwhelming, or unnatural. Now that doesn't mean I don't get overwhelmed anymore or frustrated that I can't do one task from start to finish in one go (like shower, dry hair, and dressed) or simply cry because I can't figure out why my baby has decided to start shrieking when horizontal but it helps.
  • The 6 week mark was the absolute worst week for us. LO would fuss for hours every evening starting at 5 and only ending when she finally fell asleep around 9. During the days it would take me at least 30 minutes just to get her to finally fall asleep for a nap only to have her wake up 30 minutes later. The swing became a life saver for me because she would sleep in it for hours. She has always been a great sleeper, but that time between 5 and 7 weeks was absolutely terrible as far as naps go. It really does get better! 
  • Well she is still only napping 40 minutes ( sometimes an hour for her first nap). I think she is just not going to be a good day sleeper, and I think I just need to get used to it. She is back to sleeping well at night so I have my sanity back. I'm just never going to get anything done. Looking into a mamaroo though, one last thing to try!
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