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First ultrasound and feeling really weird

AmberLiz99AmberLiz99 member
in June 2016 Moms
Went in for my dating ultrasound. There was a healthy fetus in a nut mal sack with a strong heartbeat. Still on track for a June 15 due date. All good news.

But, there was also a second irregular sack with a fetus with no heartbeat. She said that it will most likely be absorbed, but if I have bleeding to call to make sure everything's ok.

We weren't expecting or hoping for twins, I have never even wanted twins. So why do I feel so weirdly sad and strange about this whole thing? Just that image is really messing with my head and I can't shake it. I've had a mc before, but this is new and strange.

Anyone ever have a similar experience? I'm not processing this very well.
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Re: First ultrasound and feeling really weird

  • RMLandyRMLandy member
    I haven't had the same situation but, I think I can relate. I got pregnant with an IUD, and it turned out to be ectopic. Obviously, wasn't trying to get pregnant. I only knew I was pregnant for about 48 hours before learning it was ectopic so it's not like I should've even been attached. However, it was still hard. Way harder than expected and the sadness lasted way longer than expected. I'm sorry you're going through this but I do think it's normal to feel this way. Don't feel bad about grieving if you need to because it was a loss, even if you still have another healthy baby! Prayers for you!
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  • AmberLiz99AmberLiz99 member
    Thanks! I appreciate it. It's tricky because dh is just relieved that one baby is healthy and that we're not having twins, and since I haven't told anyone else I'm pregnant yet I don't really have anyone to talk to about it.
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  • LinsbinsLinsbins member
    Sorry to hear that. That's hard, especially when you are so excited about one baby. Feel all your feelings even if you're not sure what they are.
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  • theatremandytheatremandy member
    I'm so sorry. Vanishing twin syndrome is something our moms never knew much about. It's okay to mourn the one you lost, while celebrating the healthy one. Hugs, mama.
    BFP 5/2/11 DS born 1/19/12. 
    BFP #2 12/29/12, EDD 9/6/13, MC 1/2/13.
    BFP #3 5/4/13, EDD 1/9/14  Twin Boys! L&L born 12/18/13
    BFP #4 10/10/15 - Surprise!  Boy #4!.  EDD 6/19/16

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  • colesmom33colesmom33 member
    edited November 2015
    That happened to me with my first pregnancy. It was hard because I was so excited to see the heartbeat of my son but sad to see the sack of the other one. I never did bleed or have any signs of miscarriage.

    It happened to my sister as well and her next pregnancy, she had twins. She says that God knew if she had twins first, that would have been it and my nephew never would have been born!
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  • CourtJackCourtJack member

    :( I can completely understand being sad. I don't any experience to offer, but I think I would be feeling the same. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotions come up and don't rush through trying to ' get over it'.


    Hugs!!!

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  • FutureMrsCAFFutureMrsCAF member
    I'm sorry @AmberLiz99! Like PPs said, it's ok to feel everything you need to feel. Do you think it would be helpful to reveal the news to someone other than DH so you have someone else to talk to about it? Hugs to you.
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  • ashleysbfashleysbf member
    No experience, but wishing you the best.
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  • AmberLiz99AmberLiz99 member
    FutureMrsCAF said:

    I'm sorry @AmberLiz99! Like PPs said, it's ok to feel everything you need to feel. Do you think it would be helpful to reveal the news to someone other than DH so you have someone else to talk to about it? Hugs to you.

    It might help to talk to someone, but I don't know who. My brother and I aren't that close anymore (since his wife dislikes me), and my mom and dad have been going through a lot with my dad still recovering from surgery. I don't have a lot of close friends around here at the moment, so I'm not even sure who I would turn to. I think I'll give myself time to process and hopefully I'll feel better at my next appointment
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  • SnowQueen105SnowQueen105 member
    edited November 2015
    @AmberLiz99 I had the same exact thing happen this last week! Had some bleeding, Dr ordered ultrasound, baby is fine and right on schedule and they saw the hemorrhage that seems to be healing up. But they also found a fluid filled sac with no heartbeat and think it was a twin that died early on. I'm also feeling so strange about it. I wouldn't have even known about it if we hadn't had the early ultrasound. It seems strange to grieve about it, because I'm honestly so relieved that the other baby is still OK. The tech never said anything about it while we were there, so the US was a sweet time for us to see baby and cry and be so happy... And then we got the radiology results and found out about the other sac.

    I also feel strange about telling others about it... It seems like a weird thing to bring up. And yet, I want to acknowledge that baby existed. I actually would have been thrilled with twins, so part of me is sad that isn't happening when it was a possibility.

    I guess I don't have any answers for you, just the encouragement that I'm also processing the same thing!

    Edit: added clarification
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  • AmberLiz99AmberLiz99 member
    rlhcuster said:

    @AmberLiz99 I had the same exact thing happen this last week! Had some bleeding, Dr ordered ultrasound, baby is fine and right on schedule and they saw the hemorrhage that seems to be healing up. But they also found a fluid filled sac with no heartbeat and think it was a twin that died early on. I'm also feeling so strange about it. I wouldn't have even known about it if we hadn't had the early ultrasound. It seems strange to grieve about it, because I'm honestly so relieved that the other baby is still OK. The tech never said anything about it while we were there, so the US was a sweet time for us to see baby and cry and be so happy... And then we got the radiology results and found out about the other sac.

    I also feel strange about telling others about it... It seems like a weird thing to bring up. And yet, I want to acknowledge that baby existed. I actually would have been thrilled with twins, so part of me is sad that isn't happening when it was a possibility.

    I guess I don't have any answers for you, just the encouragement that I'm also processing the same thing!

    Edit: added clarification

    It's nice to hear someone else is feeling similarly, although I'm sorry you're dealing with it too. It's a strange thing all around, and I'm just greatful both of our babies are doing well
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