Anxieties!!!

MadewithLove528 · October 2015

Hi Moms to be! I'm 30 weeks pregnant and I'm starting to over think, and get worries that won't go away.... Worries of the unknown! I'm a first time mom and the unknown is scary. Anyone else having these worries?

How delivery is going to go? Being a mom? Being home alone after my husband goes back to work...

I'm sure these are all usual fears but I just wanted to talk to some other moms instead of stressing myself out...

maureenmce · October 2015

FTM here as well and I'm definitely anxious about all of those things too. I'm less anxious about the birth (weirdly, maybe?) than I am about taking care of a baby. I have very limited experience with babies, and basically none with newborns. They seem so fragile! And my husband will only be home with me for 2 weeks, which seems like a crazy short amount of time to feel secure on my own. I am also very anxious about breastfeeding and sleeping. I have an autoimmune disease and one of the side effects is issues with fatigue, so I have concerns there when I'll be breastfeeding and also only sleeping an hour or two at a time (at the very beginning.)

But I remind myself that tons of FTMS learn to take care of babies all of the time, many in situations with more difficulty and complications than my own! I also think more research will help. I'm ordering a bunch of books from Amazon this week about breastfeeding and infant care and I feel like once I read them I'll feel at least a little bit better.

Maybe read a book or two on some of the things that are freaking out out the most? I'm an information calms anxiety type of person, generally.

But anyway, you're definitely not alone!

BarrettJ89 · October 2015

I'm a STM and I'm still anxious! It's normal! My son is very young (only 10 months) and my SO's work schedule is from 1-10 pm... so I'm incredibly anxious about being home alone with essentially two babies most of the day (especially bed time) after his week off. I'm incredibly anxious about not having what I need for baby, even though I just had one! I should probably get baby #2 a crib, eh? When baby comes, instinct will kick in. Ask for help from family and friends when you need it and try not to stress (I know, everyone says it). It will all be fine in the end!

sarahbeara25 · October 2015

FTM and I am seriously worried about being a mom. I'm not too worried about birth in all honesty. Women have been doing it forever and I'll be with my OB and a team whose job it is to get baby out safely. But being a mom it's just me and Fiance. Family is close enough to help but both of us want to do things a little differently than both our parents (take aspects from each). My big worries involve breastfeeding, sleep schedules, SIDS, and safe engaging baby play. On top of that I worry that I'm going to lose "me" and the things that I like to do. I'm crafty, but baby probably won't leave tons of time for that.

I think it's normal to worry. Everything is going to change, literally everything. So worrying is going to make sense. It'll all work out

teachmegs817 · October 2015

I am a FTM too. I am starting to get anxious about the delivery part and how I am going to feel afterwards. I am hoping that the recovery process does not knock me on my arse and I feel helpless with helping to take care of LO. My husband plans on taking a week off of work to stay home with me and then my mom is going to take 2-3 days off, from her job once DH goes back to work. My mom works part time and right around the corner, literally from our house, so her early schedule will be nice if I need her to come over for a few hours in the early afternoon before my husband gets home from his job. I worry about taking time off of work. I am a Special Education teacher for a small 3rd grade class (8 students total). My students are already starting to get anxious about me leaving for 12 weeks. They do not know how long I'll be gone, and I really haven't brought it up too much to them, but a few have already stated that they think my long term substitute is going to be really mean. A few have even joked about not coming to school while I am gone, because they are going to miss me too much. If any fellow teachers or even moms out there who know of the children's book "Miss Nelson is Missing", some of my kids think my substitute is going to be Miss Viola Swamp and are petrified and what might happen in the classroom while I am gone. =P

stlmomof2 · October 2015

STM here. With my first baby I was never scared about childbirth. I was actually excited. But when I realized how hard it was waking up every 2-3 hours to a colicky baby I started to doubt myself about being a mom and went through some PPD.

Now I'm so anxious about having a csection and finding a great, nurturing Nanny for my 2 kids. I have never had surgery before so the unknown is killing me.

bkeep22 · October 2015

I'm also a FTM, and am definitely having the same anxieties. I've had plenty experience with babies and kids of all ages, but all of those babies and kids went home after awhile...with this one, I am his home! I'm absolutely terrified of delivery, but once it's over, it's just that - over. I've been having some depression issues with this pregnancy, which makes me more concerned about what it will be like after pregnancy. I think we all have similar and different anxieties, but I always feel better being able to talk about them with someone. Even though they're only an hour away, I really wish my family was closer.. I feel like that'd make things easier. Take advantage of any support you have! Don't be embarrassed to accept or ask for help at any time, even during the remainder of your pregnancy! Good luck

Leah6120 · October 2015

I had a 20 min breakdown last night about being scared that my baby won't like me. Hahaha.. we're all there with you!

carlyhammond · October 2015

I'm 30wks FTM I've been scared about giving birth since like week 5 lol it gets so bad I literally have to stop and think to myself " millions of women have done this before and millions will after me". I'm not a big fan of pain- like at all, so that part worries me..
I'm afraid I won't be good at being a mom, I'm a great baby sitter, but I'm scared that when it comes to being around a baby 24/7 it'll get to me.
I'm scared I'll have a bout of PPD and won't be willing to get help.
My SO plans to spend a week at home with me after our son is born - that will help, my mom will probably drive me NUTS being over at my house everyday- but I'm willing to accept the help lol

I'm scared my baby will be born too early, and I won't be prepared. All I have for my son is a few clothes (different sizes) so, that's scary.... I'm also scared he'll be born early and he will have to stay in the NICU and I won't know how to handle that situation - medicine has come a LONG way but, it's the "you are supposed to have your baby and take him home, not leave them at the hospital" aspect of things-

So as you can see, you DEFINATELY are not alone. We all are scared..... Sometimes I drive myself crazy because of how scared I am...
But I know, it'll be worth it in the end

bdamico123 · October 2015

I am scared to death of delivery. I do not do well with doctors, and I have been really good this whole pregnancy, which has surprised me, but delivery scares the crap out of me. Not because of the pain, but because of all of the what ifs. What if something is wrong with the baby, what if something goes wrong with me. I keep telling my husband, if something happens to me in delivery....finish sentence here. So you are not alone!

ambercakes92 · October 2015

I've got a ton of anxieties about being a mom. I'm living with my parents right now so I know I'll have help if it turns out I'm really hopeless, but I'm just so worried I'll do something that traumatizes her or hurts her in some way. I also worry that I won't be able to get on my own feet and ever be independent. I need to go back to school, buy my own car, get my own place, and I already have nearly $30,000 in student loan debt and no savings. I want so badly to be a good mom, but I haven't spent much time around youngsters so I really will have no idea what I'm doing. I'm also totally afraid of giving birth. I really, really don't want to give birth. I usually have a good pain threshold, but realize that birth is just a whole new level of ouch that I can't prepare for. I want to get an epidural, but what if it doesn't work? What if I feel like I'm dying? Ugh. No use worrying over the parts that I can't control, but it doesn't stop the anxiety at all.

kristizoe · October 2015

I am super anxious always! All I can do is imagine all the ways it can go wrong, and every stranger that passes by wants to share some horror story about birth and babies, in case I wasn't a wreck already!

I attended a 4 week childbirth class at my hospital and it alleviated alot of my stress.Being able to see how it all works and what I could expect made me feel a lot better about the whole thing. They showed a few videos of live births and the mother's happy reactions to the newborn it made me feel like I can totally do this!

willashbaby · October 2015

I'm just anxious about birth. I want to go unmedicated because I want to avoid a c-section as much as I possibly can. I am not afraid of pain but of course I have never been in labor and you can't know until you're in it.

Meg920 · November 2015

I am also a FTM and very anxious. Giving birth is such a huge thing mentally and physically, so in think it's totally normal to have anxiety about this. I know I am very nervous! My biggest concern at this point is that I'm 31 weeks pregnant and have literally nothing here for the baby. I have some clothes and like 2 boxes of diapers... Literally that is it.

I think we are all due around the holidays too (I am due in Jan 4) so I'm also nervous about timing. I hope I can enjoy the holidays and not go into labor on Christmas!

scornwell717 · November 2015

ambercakes92 said:
I've got a ton of anxieties about being a mom. I'm living with my parents right now so I know I'll have help if it turns out I'm really hopeless, but I'm just so worried I'll do something that traumatizes her or hurts her in some way. I also worry that I won't be able to get on my own feet and ever be independent. I need to go back to school, buy my own car, get my own place, and I already have nearly $30,000 in student loan debt and no savings. I want so badly to be a good mom, but I haven't spent much time around youngsters so I really will have no idea what I'm doing. I'm also totally afraid of giving birth. I really, really don't want to give birth. I usually have a good pain threshold, but realize that birth is just a whole new level of ouch that I can't prepare for. I want to get an epidural, but what if it doesn't work? What if I feel like I'm dying? Ugh. No use worrying over the parts that I can't control, but it doesn't stop the anxiety at all.

I am so glad I'm not the only one living with my parents!

I totally feel the whole "how the hell am I supposed to pay for all my necessities". I wasn't planning on living with my parents for long but oops looks like I'll be there longer than expected. Don't get me wrong, I love their help, but I want to be more independent and I don't when I'll have the money to do that now!

And birth. Ugh birth. I am so anxious about going into labor early while I'm at work or something. And to add to that anxiety, the hospital I'm delivering at is almost an hour away!!

AmeliaKris · November 2015

STM here. I think all your thoughts are completely normal. That being said, I developed post partum anxiety issues after the birth of my first. It hit 5 days post partum and was pretty severe. I didn't even know it was a thing...I had only ever heard of post partum depression. Some things I experienced were full body panic attacks, insomnia, recurrent thoughts of something happening to my baby if I went anywhere. It was really scary but I got better with the help of therapy, exercise, sleep, support system, and meds. I just want to throw out there that if you experience debilitating anxiety after birth, there are many resources and its totally. Temporary. I hope I'm not adding more anxiety to you but wanted to share my experience with you guys. Hang in there. Becoming a mom is hard work.

macattack15 · November 2015

I'm only scared really for labour and delivery

Aanderson812 · November 2015

I'm scared about going back to work after my maternity leave. I am afraid we won't be able to make it on our idea of me going part time instead of my usual full time.

I don't want to be away from my baby so much. I get 6 weeks leave at half pay, for which I am grateful, but man, it isn't near long enough.

I just want to be there with my little love.

essentialpeace · November 2015

Aanderson812 said:
I'm scared about going back to work after my maternity leave. I am afraid we won't be able to make it on our idea of me going part time instead of my usual full time. I don't want to be away from my baby so much. I get 6 weeks leave at half pay, for which I am grateful, but man, it isn't near long enough.

I just want to be there with my little love.

I'm nervous about returning to work also. Thankfully I teach 1/2 mile away and I will return with 10 weeks left before a 2 month break. I feel like pumping is going to be a challenge at work and I will get really down about leaving our baby.

deedeecmc79 · November 2015

this is not my first. but I understand. it is normal to start getting worried about all these thing.
Definitely try and get as much half as uou can with baby and house chorus. And if you feel overwhelmed reach out to someone close.

MssyMmmy · November 2015

I am nervous about going into labor when I am home alone. My husband is a pilot and I really hope he isn't away. All of our family lives a 2 hour boat ride away. I am sure they could get to me before hospital time...but I just want my DH

SisterSunshine · November 2015

I had a dream a few weeks ago that my baby was born half an avocado and instead of arms and legs he had flippers. And ever since then I've been having to fight off this nagging feeling that my baby is going to be born with issues. It's so ridiculous. Not to mention since I am advanced maternal age, I've seen a specialist and had amazing Ultrasounds. And it shows a super healthy normal looking baby.

maureenmce · November 2015

@SisterSunshine - dreams are the WORST. I had a horrible dream a week or so ago where I was bleeding heavily and woke up terrified that it was real but it wasn't and everything is fine. But yeah, the subconscious can do some pretty messed up things to a pregnant lady! With all those great ultrasounds, I'm sure your baby is totally fine!

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