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March 2016 Moms
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Feeling disconnected and confused

canadiangirl57canadiangirl57 member
in March 2016 Moms
Ever since i got pregnant, things between me and boyfriend haven't been the same. One minute he so happy being with me having this baby the next he annoyed saying i talk bout the baby too much or complain about how i'm feeling. Its been a real struggle it gotten to the point where im afraid to say anything anymore i don't wish to upset him. I never discuss doctors appointment anymore, i do all the house work without asking for help, i take care of his nephew everyday without asking him for any help because he always too tired from work. I sleep in the spare room so my snoring does not awake him. Sometimes i feel like falling pregnant was a mistake. I love my baby already dont get me wrong. But ever since i became pregnant and this started going on i cant help but always feel upset and like im not good enough anymore. I talked to my mom about this she just told me to suck it up, there a baby on the way so there no reason to be upset or confused im the woman it my job to take care of everything.
Im sorry to rant on about this on here, but all my other questions on here have been answered so nicely. I thought maybe someone might have a similar experience or kind words to share. I can't thank everyone on this site enough for all the support.
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Re: Feeling disconnected and confused

  • kellygrace2kellygrace2 member
    I haven't been in your shoes but will say that having a baby completely changes a relationship. My relationship with my husband is different now that we're parents - there's less alone time, less time to focus on each other. That's likely why he's hot and cold - he's starting to see it already. Being parents will either make or break a relationship.

    It sounds like you want things to work with him so all I can suggest is talking to him about it. Sooner rather than later. It won't be long before you won't be able to do all the housework and you will need help. And you should be excited to talk about doctors appointments with him and frankly he should want to know how they went! Ignoring the problem won't make it better.
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  • ivyvines6ivyvines6 member
    I'm very sorry you're going through this with your man. I hope you can work things out with him. I did laugh a little when I read that you "fell pregnant" like you contracted something!
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  • lindscnn1lindscnn1 member
    You need to ask yourself a few questions. Such as, is he right? Yes having a baby is going to change almost everything in both of your lives but that doesn't mean you both don't need to also focus on your relationship separately from baby. Does pregnancy make us(at least it does me) hormonal, snappy, emotional, and physically ill? Yes but I personally try to not bring up every ache & pain and nausea to my husband just because I know how annoyed I get when my husband whines about not feeling well when he's got a minor cold. Is this the first child for you both? My husband wasn't nearly as helpful and understanding with our first pregnancy as he became with subsequent pregnancies. Think about it, men have a hard time grasping what we go through with our periods, once you are pregnant they are trying to grasp pregnancy and all the fun and not so fun parts of that. It's hard to give good advice when we don't know you or him. If he is just being inconsiderate maybe some classes on pregnancy or a therapist would help, like pp mentioned. From an outsider who doesn't know you both and your exact situation, my advice is to look at what you could be doing to help him understand what is going on with you. I think that is what your mom meant by what she said.
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