Thinking about quitting my job

racheldelacruz · October 2015

Is it the hormones?!

I'm a teacher. I honestly love what I do. I can't think of a more rewarding or fulfilling job!

Here's the problem - stress.

Before getting pregnant, there was still stress but it only effected me. It didn't even get to the point where it effected my husband because he always encouraged me to leave work at work. Everything was fine!

Now that I'm pregnant, though, you quickly realize that your own stress is a major factor in the development of your baby. YOUR CHILD!! How can I even justify that?! How can I give up so much family time?! It has trickled down to my husband too now because he is obviously wanting everything to be alright with baby girl as well. He has enough to worry about with his own job.

I talked to my brother yesterday, he sells insurance for a big local company over the phone. He makes $20,000 more than me!!! And he gets to truly be done with work at the end of the day and not take anything home.

Sure, I get some time off in the summer. And by time off I mean the weeks in between the weeks of professional development and preparing for the next year. I won't do summer school now that baby girl will be here.

I'm having a crisis of sorts. My husband says I should quit after this year, that if I'm even considering it that I really don't want to do it. That's not true entirely. I really do love it, but I love my family more and I want what's best for them. I refuse to talk to my parents or anything about it because I fear they'll pretty much tell me to buck up and blah blah blah. Maybe the won't but until I'm more sure I don't even want to broach the topic.

I've also thought about changing positions within the school. I have an ESL license to teach English as a secon language... That's really small group work and less stress than a whole classroom teacher has.

Anyone have these thoughts with pregnancy? Will they go away once my hormones regulate? I don't know what to do!!!

mrs14678 · October 2015

I quit teaching full time, and just sub now to supplement hubby's income. WAY less stressful, and if I don't want to work a certain day, I don't have to! But, I still get to see the kiddos and do "teacher" type things.

Would that be an option?

spottedginger · October 2015

I wouldn't make a decision quickly because we are under immense personal stress and facing huge life changes. We are also plagued by hormones that make rational thought incredibly difficult. Also, you may or may not be suited for a sales job and you may or may not make more money at any job than you do now. Take a deep breath. Give yourself some time to really mull over the positives in your job that wouldn't be available in another job as well as the stressors. At the end of the day, no decision will be the wrong one. Good luck!

RSB1982 · October 2015

I would keep my options open for now. Wait until baby gets here and re-evaulate after things have settled down. Switching to ESL sounds promising.

TomekiaB · October 2015

I wouldn't make the decision before you have too, when do you actually commit to the following school year (or what is reasonable notice for a teacher)? I have friends that sub and they love the flexibility for their families when their husbands work very demanding schedules. I also have a friend that taught ESL at a local college and she loved it!

While your brother makes more money in sales but at least initially it is an incredibly stressful job for most so I don't know that I'd recommend it as a way to decrease stress--I do think many people figure out what they are doing in sales and therefore are no longer significantly stressed but my understanding is the learning curve and expectations are quite steep for most sales jobs for the first year or two, and depending on the type of sales the economy or continuing education continue to be significant sources of stress.

Taylovesbrad · October 2015

Agreeing with pps. Would wait at least till baby is here. I'm not going back to work but knew I would want to stay home prior to pregnancy.

Sales can be very stressful but has flexibility.

You are almost there! I know for me the last month before maternity leave (just started yesterday) was a battle to get through everyday so your Def not alone.

jjmace · October 2015

Veteran teacher here too. I made the tough decision to leave the field after unhealthy feelings for the professions politics and a total burnout. The unpleasantness seeped into my home life no matter how hard I tried to get a handle on it. I loved teaching and my students, but the burnout still happened. I found out I was pregnant before the end of last school year(probably around same time you got bfp). I felt it was not the time to venture into a new field. I did not submit my resignation. My SO has been incredibly supportive of this awkard timing and I will be a SAHM once baby is here. Like other ppl mentioned my plan now is to substitute teach when lo is older, and keep my credentials current if I choose to one day return full time.
(Prior to finding out I was pregnant) While having a heart to heart with my Principal last year about my feelings toward teaching she encouraged me to take some time with the decision. She even mentioned applying for a leave of absence (unpaid), or sabbatical (paid, with requirements). These were both contractual options for me as I have been there 10+ years. She didn't want to loose me, but was very understanding. You may be able to give yourself more time to decide. Look at your contract, a leave of absence and sabbatical must be applied for, submitted and approved by certain deadlines.
I am feeling very lucky to have some time and flexibility to make decisions that are best for our family and health.

Oh! I don't think it's your hormones... About 6 weeks into a new school year the struggle/stress really hits hard. October and November are the toughest months to get through (no matter how many years you've been at it).

celainev · October 2015

I felt the exact same earlier in my pregnancy. Now that I see the finish line, I am so glad I stayed.

However, my maternity leave is probably a lot longer than yours and I am not planning on returning to work at my current job. If teaching ESL is something you are interested in, then do it!
Good luck!!

taysun · October 2015

I wouldn't also consider the benefits you're entitled to with your current job. Do you have paid leave, vacation time, pension, healthcare etc? Those things might be worth sticking it out for now.

racheldelacruz · October 2015

My husband can pick up the health insurance and stuff through his job. I get paid maternity leave but no vacation. Teaching in Wisconsin has lost a lot of its benefits teachers once had unfortunately.

I'm feeling very blessed that my husband will support me no matter what I decide. I've never considered leaving the position before being pregnant and seeing how tough it is on my physical well being and my family.

And I didn't necessarily mean I was going into sales... I just meant that there are far less stressful jobs that would provide much better for my family. I know what he does and even he admits that once he leaves work the stress is gone at the end of the day.

I'll keep thinking on it. I'm only 26 - I never imagined a career change this early in life!

mrs14678 · October 2015

I was 26 when I stopped too!! Now 27, I am still not regretting it.

JackJacktheCat · October 2015

I left my extrordinarily stressful job in my first trimester, I had HG and I just couldn't justify putting my baby & my body through it anymore. I agonized over the decision but I finally quit & after about a month, I stopped barfing 6-7 times a day, & started to feel really heathy & actually enjoy pregnancy for the first time! I don't regret it at all. It's an extremely personal choice but I think it's great your husband supports you & it sounds like you have other options for extra income of you need it. Good luck with whatever you choose!!

HopeIn2013 · October 2015

Lurking...

I had my son in Dec 2013 and took the rest of the school year off. When I went back the following August, I was miserable. I wanted nothing more than to stay at home with my son. With my dh's job, I didn't have to work but we didn't really talk about me staying at home. It was the most miserable school year of my life. I hated everything. I would never quit in the middle of the year so I stuck it out. I am now staying at home and could not be happier. Going back to work after having my son is my one true regret. I feel like that year was taken from me.

Do what will make you happy. And don't feel badly about it. Teaching is hard and there is a ton of stress. It's not worth the stress.

Cmagno · October 2015

Just my two cents but I was in a similar situation when I was pregnant with DD and kept to my normal schedule after a long maternity leave - not a great decision. A few months after returning to work I was feeling like I wasn't home enough and I cut back to 2 days a week (Monday and Tuesday's only). I work as a speech therapist in a hospital and quitting completely wasn't a financial option for us. I looked at switching job settings and other things but my boss was incredibly accommodating and I'm SO glad I stayed in a setting/job I was familiar with. I love what I do though and I love my co-workers. I would have hated the stress of figuring out a new job and setting with a newborn at home.
Everyday I am so grateful I cut back. It's cliche but you can't get those early years back and they are so precious. I love the 5 days a week I'm home with DD and with time I may cut back even more after LO is born if we can afford it.
If it makes financial sense for you I'd say go for it. I think subbing is a great option and I know many new moms/teachers who have gone that route when kids are young and are so glad they did it! Good luck!

Holdmomma · October 2015

I imagine Wisconsin is a tough place to be a teacher right now! I'm not sure how family/maternity leave works in your district, but could you extend your leave of absence from work and still keep your contract after the baby is born? When I had my first I initially took 3 months off (I used up my sick leave, then it was all unpaid), then was able to extend in until my baby turned 6 months old. When I went back to work I job shared with my leave replacement through the end of the school year, and through the following year. It was my saving grace to only have to work half time, and my job share partner was awesome. She had quit after her first baby was born 12 years ago, and was finally ready to get back into teaching.

Since then I have switched to a district level job. I totally miss the kids, and having my own classroom, but the stress level is much different. What it came down to for me was I felt like when I was a classroom teacher I gave of myself all day, and when I finally got home I had nothing left to give to my family.

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