I want to punch my husband!! Just a rant.

nmonty15 · October 2015

Two weeks and two days from being due (yes...I know it's not December, but I started on this board as soon as I had a positive pregnancy test sure I was a December, and wasn't, but stayed). Severe swelling just started setting in this week; I've already checked with my doctor...no medical issues around it. DH always says he will help me with this or that, but to get him to help me I have to actually ask for help...even when he knows exactly what needs to be done. There's never just an offer for help! Is it too much to just once in awhile want him to actually ask what I need help with or if I need help?! I'm still working, and plan to right up until I can't, or I give birth so I can stay home as long as possible with the baby, and when I get home from work an hour late, have dinner in the crock pot that still needs prepping, and have feet swollen to a point my ankles are missing, I'd just like some effin help offered!! I'm not sure if it's because I'm in the final stretch and everything is getting really hard, or what...but I just feel pure feelings of annoyance with him every single day lately. Anyways, I just needed to get this off my chest to feel better. That is all!!

Peanut1128 · October 2015

I feel your pain! My husband has been under crazy stress at work and putting in long hours which means all the house work has fallen to me. Try and put your feet up when you can.

VesperLove · October 2015

I totally feel your pain on this ... like, exact same situation ... but one question for you. Have you said this to him?

Have you sat him down and asked why he needs you to tell him what to do and that the best way he can help you is to proactively help without needing prompting from you? Maybe he just doesn't want to do something wrong or do it the wrong way.

I found that out about my husband. I used to get irritated with him for doing things that I would have to redo or do my own way (folding laundry, organizing the nursery closet, making dinner, etc) ... so he just started waiting for me to tell him what to do to try and avoid me getting irritated with him. I didn't figure this out until I talked to him about his not proactively helping. When he told me this I told him that I had reached a point where I just couldn't do things my way anymore and that right now what I really need is for him to step up.

Ever since then he's been doing a lot more on his own.

It might just take a blunt conversation telling him what you need. Good luck

acanfield18 · October 2015

Well I'm glad I'm not the only one who wants to punch my husband...right in the nose! He has been out of work for a couple of weeks due to injury. He broke some ribs so was pretty much useless...everything fell on me. No big deal, I handled it. Well now he is feeling better and back at work...so we decided this is the time to fix a few house projects that pushes away when he was hurt..so screen storm door thing needed to be replaced ..we get to home depot get one and the glass breaks...finally get another one, get it home and he just starts drilling away...then he got mad at me because I didn't want to help if he wasn't going to bother looking at the instructions...well he f'ed it up and its too small but we can't take it back cause big head got drill happy! So now, I still don't have the door I wanted or needed and I'm out $250 bucks....pisses me off...all he had to do was slow down and take it one step at a time....THEN falls asleep on the couch and snores like a damn freight train so it was annoying to try to watch TV and relax...so annoying and he will be lucky if I don't actually punch him.
Had to get that out...sorry. Thanks.

nmonty15 · October 2015

@VesperLove we definitely ended up having that exact conversation. I just had to get it off my chest and think it over logically beforehand so I approached it properly. Coversation went well and he gets it, all is good...and I no longer have feelings of wanting to punch him in the face.

ammnam14 · October 2015

Same boat. I understand that I stay home so chores/cooking/errands is my job. But he's starting to become a slob! Put your dang clothes in the hamper. If you dirty a dish, put it in the sink! And trash goes in the trash can my dear husband!! I get absolutely no help and it's frustrating. We had an argument this evening about this and he decided to prove a point or something and carry ALL of our groceries at once. We have one flight of stairs leading to the front door. It felt like a small victory for me. Lol

spottedginger · October 2015

Next time he needs your help or wants something specific for dinner or washed in the laundry:

LeggoxMyxPreggo · November 2015

No punching feelings but I definitely feel my husband has absorbed my preggo hormones. We finally get our baby furniture delivered and rven though we had a convo about positioning (we have some seriously small space to work with) he argued otherwise. Then two days later he spazzes out about curtains and legitimately gets angry when I respond (but even after we come to the conclusion that I'll return the damn things he starts drilling away and puts them up) curtains weren't even my idea in the first place lol

I don't even get mad anymore but I am starting to wonder wtf is up. XD,

erikaalzet · November 2015

Chileeeee!

Preaching to the choir. There is a special kind of grace required for me to not regularly hit my husband with couch cushions now that I am not able to tackle as much around the house.

@VesperLove my husband and I had this chat pre-pregnancy, a month ago, and probably will have it every few months. I feel like he is unlearning a habit (which I understand I helped create), and it has yet to stick all the way.

I even bought a dry erase calendar for us to share important deadlines, tasks, and to-dos. It has helped with some things so far because it is in the kitchen.

Next to the microwave.
And color coded (my tasks, his tasks, baby list).
No excuses!

cedixon2 · November 2015

Wait till your kids are old enough to start helping out. You finally get theDH sorted and then the kids leave everything... Everywhere!!!

Mizuiro007 · November 2015

cedixon2 said:
Wait till your kids are old enough to start helping out. You finally get theDH sorted and then the kids leave everything... Everywhere!!!

I got started with mine early. DS sees me picking up and immediately has to help. It's so cute to see him run around taking toys to the bucket.

blended10 · November 2015

My stuff to organize the nursery arrived today, yeah! But my nursery is still my son's room, and his new room still isn't even painted yet. I ask DH to take care of it today bc he's finally home to do it & he's acting like its a big surprise. "I'm not motivated" he says "7 weeks!" I say. God lord, you'd think this was his first kid, not his fourth. Actually maybe it's because it IS his fourth....

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