Shower Etiquette

malaki1418 · October 2015

Gifts and cards have started to arrive from family to our house - we live states away from home - and most items and cards are mostly addressed to me. I thought it was kind of odd of family to not include my SO or the baby. Is this normal shower etiquette? Or are my prego hormones being uber sensitive? Was feeling like they left out two very important people. Grateful nonetheless, absolutely...but wondering your thoughts? This is our first baby so not sure what to expect.

dragonfly321 · October 2015

My thoughts are... The shower is being thrown in honor of you. So it makes sense for cards and such to be made out to you. Enjoy the attention, mama!

brushesnbrunch · October 2015

^WSS

satuttle1014 · October 2015

dragonfly321 said:

My thoughts are... The shower is being thrown in honor of you. So it makes sense for cards and such to be made out to you. Enjoy the attention, mama!

This ^^

Totally fine they are only being addressed to you. The shower is for YOU so things will be addressed to you. DH and LO are included even if it does not say their names on the envelope. My registry has both our names but the address name just has my name, it's for all of us. If you want them to feel included, you can go shopping as a family. I send my thank you cards signed with all of our names (mine, DH's name and LO's name) Don't worry about it and enjoy the attention and LO being spoiled before he or she is here

Monkeybutt80 · October 2015

Wait, so your family sent you gift cards as presents for your shower (which they have no obligation to do), and you are taking offense to the fact that it wasn't addressed to your husband and your unborn baby also?

the shower is really for the mother to be and not the baby or the father to be, so they followed the etiquette. Now it't your turn to follow the etiquette and be grateful and send thank you cards.

wisco29 · October 2015

It's silly to list you entire family on you gifts for a shower as others said its for you technically.

Go buy some thank you cards and send them out as soon as you get the gifts in the mail

DrillSergeantCat · October 2015

The gifts you get at the shower will be TO: malaki148 only. There may come a point when your SO gets a gift to him/her and you're not on the card. It's still meant for you both (unless it's breast stuff).

glitteryant · October 2015

Yep, showers are for mama. You're the one who is pregnant.

cantobean · October 2015

If someone addressed mail to my unborn fetus, I would be very weirded out.

Be grateful for the generosity and don't overthink this.

DrillSergeantCat · October 2015

cantobean said:

If someone addressed mail to my unborn fetus, I would be very weirded out. Be grateful for the generosity and don't overthink this.

That made that Rodney Carrington song pop into my head...I can hear it now. ♪ Dear Fetus, I don't think I like you anymore. I used to hold my bladder, now hope I don't pee on the floor.

cMichelle0423 · October 2015

A baby shower is meant to welcome mother-to-be into motherhood. Not to celebrate baby, not to celebrate the father-to-be.

blueberrymomma · October 2015

cantobean said:
If someone addressed mail to my unborn fetus, I would be very weirded out.

Be grateful for the generosity and don't overthink this.

My MIL does this and it's alittle weird. I know at Christmas there will be at least 10 gifts addressed to "future grandson" "little prince", "baby", "future blueberry farmer"....ect. And yes that's how she addresses gifts. She is baby/grand baby obsessed

camusoh2011 · October 2015

Can I throw another etiquette question in here? My friend who is hosting my shower gave me open freedom to invite more people. If I stick to just close friends and family there will only be 4 people at the shower (not exactly a huge celebration). I don't work currently as I'm student teaching, but I have girls that I'm friends with in my school building who are also student teaching. We've never hung out outside of a teaching/school environment. Would it be improper to invite them since we aren't super close?

Jellybelly119 · October 2015

camusoh2011 said:
Can I throw another etiquette question in here? My friend who is hosting my shower gave me open freedom to invite more people. If I stick to just close friends and family there will only be 4 people at the shower (not exactly a huge celebration). I don't work currently as I'm student teaching, but I have girls that I'm friends with in my school building who are also student teaching. We've never hung out outside of a teaching/school environment. Would it be improper to invite them since we aren't super close?

If you aren't close enough to hang out outside of work to celebrate birthdays, etc, I'd say no. I wouldn't expect to be invited to a coworker's shower that I didn't spend time with outside the work environment.

Karen249 · October 2015

camusoh2011 said:
Can I throw another etiquette question in here? My friend who is hosting my shower gave me open freedom to invite more people. If I stick to just close friends and family there will only be 4 people at the shower (not exactly a huge celebration). I don't work currently as I'm student teaching, but I have girls that I'm friends with in my school building who are also student teaching. We've never hung out outside of a teaching/school environment. Would it be improper to invite them since we aren't super close?

I agree with @Jellybelly119 if you don't have a relationship beyond student teaching I wouldn't invite them. There is nothing wrong with a quaint little shower honoring the arrival of your little one. It will just be that much more personal. By inviting those extra women, you are kind of obligating them to get you a present even if they don't go to your shower. And who knows, they might get you a little something anyway. But at least it's their own choice and not out of obligation. But have fun whatever you decide!

camusoh2011 · October 2015

Thanks guys. That's how I was feeling too. Just wanted reassurance I guess.

g8trkim · November 2015

Jellybelly119 said:

Can I throw another etiquette question in here? My friend who is hosting my shower gave me open freedom to invite more people. If I stick to just close friends and family there will only be 4 people at the shower (not exactly a huge celebration). I don't work currently as I'm student teaching, but I have girls that I'm friends with in my school building who are also student teaching. We've never hung out outside of a teaching/school environment. Would it be improper to invite them since we aren't super close?
If you aren't close enough to hang out outside of work to celebrate birthdays, etc, I'd say no. I wouldn't expect to be invited to a coworker's shower that I didn't spend time with outside the work environment.

I agree with this but it's entirely up to you. At my place of employment (I've worked there for a year) I've been invited to a couple showers for people I am friendly with but don't see outside of work. They invited lots of other coworkers too. I enjoy it and want to celebrate the mommy to be, but I was kind of surprised to be invited.

AdventureMama · November 2015

I don't think it's weird to address a shower gift to mama AND baby (esp. if you know his/her name), actually, I usually do that. HOWEVER, it's not rude or weird at all to just address it to the mom. That's standard.

Want a personalized experience?

Shower Etiquette

Re: Shower Etiquette

Choose Another Board

Search Boards