One and done? — The Bump
Parenting after 35

One and done?

FTM and loving DD 8 weeks old and loved being pregnant. I would love another - sibling for DD - but not sure if it will happen. Got pregnant spontaneously after being told by several doctors that I'd need IVF. I had a high risk pregnancy between my age (40) and some medical issues like gestational diabetes and while all went well it was stressful. But I would do it again. DH is 46 and thinks it's too risky to have another at our ages. Wondering if there are other moms who feel they had their one baby and are done. And can you be fulfilled with just one child?

Re: One and done?

  • I think we're gonna have to be fulfilled with one.  We are both 43 and were surprised we were able to have Chloe. Maybe if we were younger I'd push to have another, but it just doesn't seem feasible at this stage in the game.
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    marijaa333
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  • mindaamindaa member
    edited October 2015
    Yeah, we've been talking about this pretty regularly, knowing time is not on our side. Having been back to work for a couple months, we're both perma-exhausted and can't even fathom repeating this stage. Plus we're really active and like to travel as much as possible, which would be so much easier with a singleton.

    DH is pretty settled on being OAD and I'm currently very fulfilled with my little family of three, but have warned DH that I might need at least year for my ovaries, or biological clock to speak to me. ;) Plus I'd also like to adopt... though have no idea if/how that would fit in. Basically, I'm all over the place and just kinda hoping we'll both just know the right thing to do at the right time for our family.

    There is actually a OAD board here, and while not really too active any more, some of the old threads have some pretty good discussions about the pros/cons/reasons for being OAD.
    Me-37, DH-38
    Married in 2006, TTC #1 since Jan 2012

    Baby Boy born June 1, 2015

    He settles her in her home as a happy mother of children, praise the Lord! (Psalms 113:9)
    And the peace of God, which surpasses all understand, will guard your heart and mind in Jesus Christ (Philippians 4:7)

    jerseygirl227
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  • @mindaa thank you so much for info but I can't seem to find the OAD board. What's it called and where can I find it?
  • Go under The Bump Message Boards.  Then scroll down to One & Done: Only Child.
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    mindaa
  • @mindaa ... we have similar feelings over here.  Fiance' and I LOVE to travel and hike and go out to dinner and stuff.  We have taken Chloe to a ton of places already.  (Thank goodness she's had no sickness.  That little girl is gonna have one heck of an immune system, lol.)  It seems like it would be a lot more difficult if we had more than one.
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  • We weren't planning on kids. We fostered. Fell in love with one of our placements who is probably staying. We were OAD especially since we hadn't planned on a family. But then a sib came along & we couldn't say no. We're enjoying the new baby. :)

    If you want more kids consider fostering an infant to add to your family. There are difficulties & unknowns but overall it's been a good experience.
    jerseygirl227marijaa333
  • Baby'smom said:
    We weren't planning on kids. We fostered. Fell in love with one of our placements who is probably staying. We were OAD especially since we hadn't planned on a family. But then a sib came along & we couldn't say no. We're enjoying the new baby. :) If you want more kids consider fostering an infant to add to your family. There are difficulties & unknowns but overall it's been a good experience.
    That is so awesome!  A good friend of mine works in child protective services.  She always said we'd be great parents and encouraged us to adopt/foster in the future (since we didn't think we'd be having kids of our own).  Not sure how the fiance' feels about foster or adoption since I haven't even brought it up, but I think it could be a possibility down the line.

    You're a special lady, @Baby'smom. :)
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