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July 2015 Moms
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Mother in Law

keyshafosterkeyshafoster member
in July 2015 Moms
I'm having some serious issues with my MIL. We are currently not speaking. About a month ago we had a funeral to attend and I didn't want my LO attending. He wasn't feeling well as it was- and was very tired/over stimulated from the visitation the night prior. Not to mention it was a military funeral where guns were being shot off.
She fought with me on it and didn't speak to me the rest of her visit.
Then a week or two later texted my SO telling him that I am controlling and our relationship is unhealthy.
Then proceeded to say she was going to come take anything she purchased for our LO back if we wanted to disagree with her.
I'm having a hard time wanting anything to do with her... Or wanting my son to be around someone that acts that way.
any advice would be appreciated!
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Re: Mother in Law

  • abbymessinaabbymessina member
    I would totally agree with you! Also your baby, your rules. The part that really bothers me is why would she want to punish your Lo by taking back things she bought for him when it really has nothing to do with him? That is her grandchild correct? I find that very selfish on her part.
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  • PurpleBookmarkPurpleBookmark member
    Unfortunately there's not much you can do, she seems like a toxic person to be around. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself and your family is to let go. Wish her well, don't talk badly about her in front of LO but move on for now.

    If she changes and is contrite later you can possibly rebuild a relationship. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.
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  • keyshafosterkeyshafoster member
    Well I would have totally written her off by now if I could. I had issues with my baby shower also. I wanted to reveal the gender at my shower and she was mad about that. And then she didn't want to help my mother pay for the shower or food or anything and she wanted to invite like 30 more people. My mother said no unless she was going to help pay, obviously. So she threw another fit and made her sister and law throw me an entire different shower the day before mine.
    But SO insists that she doesn't mean to be mean and I have to accept her the way she is because she won't change. I don't want to fight with him about it but I don't want my son to hear bad things being said about his mom whenever I make a decision she doesn't agree with.
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  • n3na94n3na94 member
    edited October 2015
    I completely agree with you. Honestly I'm not trying to offend her but she is acting immature. She is a GRANDMOTHER.. And if she wants to take the things back then go ahead. Your son needs to be around people that love him unconditionally and in all honesty all I want as a mom is people who love and support me. Unfortunately you can't cut her off because she's your mom in law but do try talking to her and talk to your husband. You're showing a lot more maturity than she is. Make him understand if she's going to be around and wants to be part of your son's life, to respect and like the golden rule goes, respect to be respected. I also wouldn't let her babysit, only visit when you are around. I'm sorry you're going through this but who knows maybe one day she can notice she's being immature and change. I hope things get better, you focus on your family and enjoy your LO, don't let this affect you!! You're doing great mama!! :)@keyshafoster
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  • v&drustonv&druston member
    This sounds horrible, I'm so sorry. What does your DH say about this specific situation? Had he supported your decision about the funeral? Unfortunately, if he isn't speaking up & defending you her actions are never going to change. I hope he can see how ridiculous his mother is being & is willing to tell her. Unfortunately, my DH wouldn't so I know it would be a horrible fight between us. I hope your DH is stronger in this situation & stands by you & what is best for his family. Hugs & know you did the right thing!!
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  • AziaNickAziaNick member
    Wow. As long as you and your husband have a strong relationship and know what you guys want for your child that's all that matters. People will always say things and its always hard especially with family. Just like how other people were saying, your MIL is being very immature about it. When you think about things to say to her or things that you want to do, always think, what would the better person do. You don't want to sever the relationship you have with your MIL even though it's hard not to do something! :)
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  • ashleytiffashleytiff member
    she wants to take things away from her grandchild?

    I would put all that shit outside and tell her to come pick it up and that would be the last time shed be invited to my house.
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