Me: 31 | DH: 33
DD: 05/14/16
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May 2016 Moms
Charla1224
member
Name Thieves
Charla1224
member
We have IRL friends that had a baby this past week. After oooh- ing and aaahhh- ing over the handsome little fella I allowed myself to sulk because our friends named their son James, just like we planned to do if our LO is a boy. Of course our friends aren't real name thieves because they didn't know we were considering that name and James was chosen by both families because it's a family name. I'm just sulking a bit because now I feel like that name is off the table.
As many of you know I work in a school and so does my H... Kids at school ruin names. Kye/ Kai (or any other spelling variation) was never on our possible name list, but we both joke about the name because both of our schools have unpleasant students with that name.
Anyway... all this rambling is to ask you all... for your opinion. How many degrees of separation is needed for naming your kid? Can we still use the name James even though our family friends named their son that? Would it be weird to use the name of a student?
Baby #2 EDD: 12/23/19
Re: Name Thieves
- BFP: 3/10/16 — Baby Girl born 11/20/16
TTC#2 April 2019Not everyone can breastfeed - Mammary Hypoplasia/Insufficient Glandular Tissue Awareness
And yeah, I would personally avoid names chosen by close friends and names that I had some strong pre-existing association with. For example, "Bella" is a SUPER popular name for dogs in our neighborhood, so I couldn't have a kid named "Bella" just because I'd instinctively expect that to be answered by five wagging tails at the dog park. It's a perfectly nice name, but I'm never going to be able to shake that association, so that's off the table for me.
My SIL and my cousin were pregnant with boys at the same time - SIL with twins, cousin with a single. My cousin had picked out her boy name before she even conceived but kept it a secret, SIL and my brother planned to make the decision at the hospital. Come June the twins are born, Mitchell & Emmet. The following September my cousin gives birth to.... Emmett! (Yup, two different spellings). When she announced his name to the family she said "well this might sound familiar...." but otherwise gave no warning to my brother and SIL. They never said anything to her but they were definitely a little upset at first, mainly that she never mentioned it to them to give them the heads up. My mother can still get worked up about it but the rest of the family has gotten used to it by now (the Emmet(t)s are now 1) and it isn't a thing at all. Talking to my cousin about it she told me she cried when my brother announced the twins' names, but her mind was made up. The lesson I learned from the whole thing is that keeping the name you've chosen a complete secret can backfire - if a close friend or family member is expecting at the same time as me, I'll talk to them about names to avoid this. My brother and SIL only chose Emmet in the hospital and wouldn't have considered it had my cousin told them before the kids were born. It isn't a family name or anything, just a coincidence. That said, I have come to respect my cousin for "name stealing" and making the choice that mattered the most to her and her H, rather than worrying about what others might think. So it may get a little confusing at the holidays, so what!
I empathize so much with the teachers in here! DH and I are both teachers and naming DD was sooooo hard. We decided on Scarlett, which neither one of us had ever taught. So many names went out the window because of name associations. Now we have to name a new baby and I'm scared to even start thinking about it. We will wait until we find out the sex and then begin hashing it out.
Little brother was born October 1, 2012.
I also work with children but in mental health, so there is a long list of names off the table. No Chris of any sort. Male, female, any spelling. Cameron same thing. James is also a frequent flyer so that's gone. Which is a shame because my family is in the habit of naming boys J names and there just isn't that many that I like. But you should definitely do what makes you happy. You're going to be calling that name for years to come.
It is interesting because in every school/setting I have worked, a kid named Ryan has been the sweetest, kindest, funniest, and most memorable patient/student. However, for that exact reason, I could never name my kid Ryan. The association, while very positive, is just too strong. But, I strongly offer that suggestion to any of you because, in my experience, all kids named Ryan are awesome.
My SIL and I both have Carmen as our top name for a girl. She doesn't have kids yet, and we don't know if LO is a girl, but there is a good chance we will both have Carmens some day.
Also, nicknames are huge in our families, so I'm confident that will cut the confusion of cousins having the same name
DH says we can just use the name anyways and he will tell his family it is a family name from my side so no one will be able to complain about it. We only see that part of his family at Christmas and major family events so it shouldn't be a big deal. It still makes me a little sad though... Maybe we will have a boy and not have to worry about it.
DD: 05/14/16