Nap time issues — The Bump
Babies: 6 - 9 Months

Nap time issues

hello All - I'm hoping for some advice for how to handle my LO nap time issues. Background: DD has always been a difficult time with napping followed closely by being a grumpy, crying mess when over tired. I read the book healthy sleep habits, happy child at 2 months. At that time it was waaaay too early for CIO, but using those ideas about typical infant sleep we were able to better regulate her daytime sleep. She went from sleeping 5-10 min for naps to 30-45 min. (Still short but comparatively better so we rolled with it).

at 8 months she was taking 4 naps 8a, 1030, 1230p, and 4 but those naps were getting shorter and harder to come by. (We would hold her for 45 min then put her in the crib for a 30 min nap). So we decided to push her morning nap until later and drop from 4--> 3 naps a day. At first things went really well, she fell asleep faster and stayed asleep longer (up to 1.5 hrs). Then our schedules changed and she started spending some afternoons with nana. Those afternoon naps disappeared. My husband and I tried to talk with nana. We explained how we put her to sleep, offered to bring things from our place to make the sleep environment the same. Nana told us she has her own way of doing things; nana tried it our way (And it WORKED!) but she did not care to repeat it. We sing, rock, then cover her face with a cloth diaper to help her sleep. Once asleep we take the diaper off.

last week same thing, drop kiddo off , explain she needs a nap, pick up 2.5hrs later kiddo is not happy. Usually DD waits until we are in the car but this time she had a meltdown At nana's house and she was able to see how frustrated DD gets with lack of sleep. And momma bear was mad

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Re: Nap time issues

  • Ugh. Post got cut off. The ending was that my mom and husband think I'm being too strict on this issue that a couple of days a week without naps is no big deal. I'm frustrated because those days I'm on my own dealing dealing with a frustrated baby and praying for an early bedtime. Am I being too dramatic?

    any other ideas? Thoughts? Suggestions? I'm having trouble coming up with a compromise because either baby sleeps or she doesn't. And if nana insists on doing things her way then the only other option is getting another care giver for those afternoons.

    please help.

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  • First off, YOU are absolutely right and NO you are not being too strict. I'm frustrated by your post because of how your H and mom are handling this. Babies need good sleep in order to be in a good mood and for their development! Sleep is SOOOOO important and if your mom can't respect this and do what you tell her to do then I would definitely find a new caretaker.  

    I know that sounds extreme but you need to sit her down and have a conversation with her. I'm not saying don't ever let her see her grandchild again, but you need to tell her that it's your way, or the highway. This is affecting your child in a negative way and even if she doesn't like how you do things, she needs to respect you and follow your rules.

    On a side note, I think 4 naps is too many for an 8 month old so I'm glad she's down to 3.

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  • First off, YOU are absolutely right and NO you are not being too strict. I'm frustrated by your post because of how your H and mom are handling this. Babies need good sleep in order to be in a good mood and for their development! Sleep is SOOOOO important and if your mom can't respect this and do what you tell her to do then I would definitely find a new caretaker.  

    I know that sounds extreme but you need to sit her down and have a conversation with her. I'm not saying don't ever let her see her grandchild again, but you need to tell her that it's your way, or the highway. This is affecting your child in a negative way and even if she doesn't like how you do things, she needs to respect you and follow your rules.

    On a side note, I think 4 naps is too many for an 8 month old so I'm glad she's down to 3.


    This...I'm a FTM but I've read that most kids actually cut it down from 3 naps to 2 around 6-7 months.  I guess if the naps are on the shorter side, 3 is reasonable, but if you're saying she takes 3 1.5 hour naps at 8 months...that seems like a lot to me?  Is it affecting her nighttime sleep?  My 4 month old doesn't even take 4.5 hours worth of naps most days (she sleeps 11-12 hours at night).

     

    You have two options here.  Unfortunately you can't FORCE your mother to do anything, especially if she is providing child care for free.  So option A is to try to explain to her how essential the naps are and then let her handle it her way.  DH didn't think he could ever get DD to nap without me either, but after a few days he figured it out, and he does it in a completely different way than I do, but it still works.  Option B is to budget for alternate child care.  A child care professional is going to have tons and tons of methods for getting LOs to nap, and surely one of them will work.  Because you are compensating them, they also have motivation to do things the way you want them done.  If you only need care for a few hours in the afternoon, it might make sense to get a sitter to come to your home so that LO is in familiar territory, which should facilitate better sleep.

    Me: 37 DH: 37
    Married 5-31-14
    DD1 born 6-21-15
    DD2 born 6-11-17
    DS born 9-5-18

    Bigboobsmcgee
  • wittyacronymwittyacronym member
    edited October 2015

    Thanks for the replies, it helped me to stay strong when I had a talk with my MIL the other day.  We again discussed the importance of nap time and sleep issues and I *think* she finally heard me.  She agreed to try to get my LO to sleep her way in the beginning but if it did not work, MIL would switch to the way we use at home.  That afternoon, MIL did use our method and it WORKED!!! </p> as a point of clarification, DD is now taking 3 naps, the first nap is 1-1.5 hours, the 2nd is 45min to 1 hour, and the last nap is the shortest with being about 30 min at the most.   Nighttime sleep (so far, knock on wood) has never been a issue.  She goes to sleep 7:30/8p and up between 6-7a. </p> hopefully this will persist because the thought of looking for alternative child care is overwhelming.  We do offer a modest, monthly sum to keep DD and compensate for MIL time.    



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