WTF Wednesday

nerdymama15 · October 2015

Didn't see one. Started it.

laurenmdrn16 · October 2015

WTF to the teachers who tell me 5 minutes before the bus leaves that they have a field trip today (wasn't on the master schedule) and I need to scramble to coordinate all the meds for the kids going and frantically call parents etc. Oh, and I was giving a huge presentation to the whole school (well, apparently not those classes!) so I was preparing that and making sure my student helpers were all set with their part of the presentation. I was so excited about this morning and this presentation specifically, but after the field trip debacle, I felt so frazzled I missed a piece and had to go back. I pride myself on being excellent at presenting in front of large groups and I looked like an idiot in front of all the students, teachers, and parents. Ugh! Oh well.

BuzzBee614 · October 2015

@laurenmdrn16 I used to hate working with teachers that planned everything at the last minute!

My wtf is the fact that I have a wicked cough that's driving me crazy. It started as a dry cough this week and now it's turned into a barking cough. I feel awful. Taking care of dd is hard enough but trying to be able to think enough to be able to work from home is impossible. Wtffff. I don't need this.

sophieophieoh · October 2015

WTF to my fiancé who treats me like an ahole when he's the one who elbowed me in the face this morning(by accident, but if course it was "my fault" because he's perfect *eyeroll*). He's been ping ponging between super jerk mode and super sweet, and he doesn't want this baby so it just makes it even more of a sh--show. He tells me I'm not prepared for responsibility like this and if i keep it and don't give it up for adoption he'll leave. I'm just so tired of waking up, going to sleep and every minute i spend with him in between being so painful.

laurenmdrn16 · October 2015

@sophieophieoh not to be crass or rude, but if he didn't want the baby, why did he do his part in making the baby? I get that surprises happen even when you are careful (my growing blump is Exhibit A), but MH knew that anytime he put his P in my V, there was a chance we could make a baby.

I am sorry he is being a dbag and hope that you have lots of support from family and friends if it turns out that he is not the right partner. Or he could get his s--- together and realize that he wants to dedicate himself to being a great father and partner to you. It might be that he is just adjusting still to the thought of all the changes a baby brings, but make sure you are doing what is right for you. Hugs!

jenbrinson07 · October 2015

WTF 12 weeks 4 days and STILL sick!

sophieophieoh · October 2015

@laurenmdrn16 he wants the freedom to continue wasting his money on bikes and pot and beer. He "doesn't even know if he wants children at all" and any time I try to be like "it isn't all about us anymore" he pulls the "don't do this to me" card. He says that I shouldn't be so tired because I'm not doing anything, and then tells me he loves me and I'm his everything. BAH. I'm so tired of this, but the stress of talking to him about it is through the roof, because I know my feelings don't actually matter to him or he wouldn't be like this.

yogahh · October 2015

WTF to my "assistant"- notice a trend here? She cant manage her workloads, so I have to take all her low level duties back, which I have been doing for 11 years already. I don't mind, and all about taking one for the team, but its more the fact that she is not cut for this role and our hands are tied about doing anything about it...especially now with my pending maternity leave. She has been here for a year and a half and is not growing, does get it, and I don't think she WANTS to get it. She told my boss (the VP) that she NEVER wants to do a certain task (because she knows she wont be able to master it) .. which no matter where you go in the industry will be a main part of her job. I jus sigh and shake my head. There is only so much I can do to get her to where she needs to be, and I have done all I can.

m6agua · October 2015

@sophieophieoh Sorry you are going through that. But your last line in your last comment says it all to me. If your feelings don't matter to him that sounds to me like you would be better off without him. Sorry for putting it blunt, I know I don't know your situation.

dshannah · October 2015

@sophieophieoh
To borrow a line from Dan Savage:
DTMFA!!!!!!

You don't need that stress, and the instability of back and forth outweighs all the sweetness in the world.

Bluejay3030 · October 2015

sophieophieoh said:
@laurenmdrn16 he wants the freedom to continue wasting his money on bikes and pot and beer. He "doesn't even know if he wants children at all" and any time I try to be like "it isn't all about us anymore" he pulls the "don't do this to me" card. He says that I shouldn't be so tired because I'm not doing anything, and then tells me he loves me and I'm his everything. BAH. I'm so tired of this, but the stress of talking to him about it is through the roof, because I know my feelings don't actually matter to him or he wouldn't be like this.

I don't know all the details of your situation obviously, but he sounds super immature. Dude, it's time to nut up or shut up. I'm so sorry you're dealing with that, and I hope you find strength and support to do whatever you decide is best for you.

yogahh · October 2015

sophieophieoh , You are ready to bring a child into this world... you don't need a BF that also acts like a child. Obviously none of us know your situation, but I hope if you stay with him its for the right reasons, and not only because you feel like you might have no other options. Also, what is his plan about drinking and smoking once the baby is here? Will he be stopping? I am sorry you have to deal with this. Its really unfair how some guys aren't "prepared" for kids, but totally prepared to have all the sex.

sophieophieoh · October 2015

Ladies, I'm getting to that point, but part of me is hoping he'll come around and not force me to be "the bad guy".. I have a close friend I'm visiting in Cleveland over spring break, and she is potentially adopting this baby, but she and her mom have told me that if I want to keep it I can live with them and they'd be there for me. I have only told one of my sisters (as far as family members go) and it's just so overwhelming. Thank you for your support, ladies. It really means so much.

sophieophieoh · October 2015

He says he won't stay if I choose to keep it. He would rather pay child support and be "free", what he doesn't realize is that if I wanted to I could go after him for that and get his wages garnished for the next 18 years. I don't WANT him to owe me $50,000+ by the time my kid is in high school, I want him to be an adult and take responsibility for his swimmers beating out my bc.

schicksal · October 2015

yogahh said:

sophieophieoh , You are ready to bring a child into this world... you don't need a BF that also acts like a child...

You stole my words, he needs to grow up. Coming from a guy's perspective he has no credibility whatsoever.

My WTF wednesday is that due to workload I have nothing to WTF about. I'm sort of in a daze here, eating lunch finally almost two hours late.

sophieophieoh · October 2015

@schicksal i hadn't thought about it like that, but yes, his credibility is pretty nonexistent these days

lionstigersbears · October 2015

@sophieophieoh sounds like whether he is in the picture or not, you might benefit from some counseling. Have you considered that before, alone or with him? Adoption is a huge decision, as is becoming a parent! Whatever you decide to do make sure it's what you want, not about anyone else and what they want or don't want.

kbrands7 · October 2015

yogahh said:

sophieophieoh , You are ready to bring a child into this world... you don't need a BF that also acts like a child. Obviously none of us know your situation, but I hope if you stay with him its for the right reasons, and not only because you feel like you might have no other options. Also, what is his plan about drinking and smoking once the baby is here? Will he be stopping? I am sorry you have to deal with this. Its really unfair how some guys aren't "prepared" for kids, but totally prepared to have all the sex.

Yes, all of this.

If he's really in this relationship as your partner, he needs to be able to put aside his own conveniences/wants to put you first with him, not just think about himself. You both are in this pregnancy, yet from what you have told us, it seems like he's treating this like something that's happened to you only. If you can realistically imagine a healthy future with him, then stay, but please don't stay in the relationship if it's out of routine, convenience, or fear. There are many guys out there who can and will do the right thing for the sake of a relationship. I'm sorry you're going through this.

JessicaB0627 · October 2015

sophieophieoh said:
He says he won't stay if I choose to keep it. He would rather pay child support and be "free", what he doesn't realize is that if I wanted to I could go after him for that and get his wages garnished for the next 18 years. I don't WANT him to owe me $50,000+ by the time my kid is in high school, I want him to be an adult and take responsibility for his swimmers beating out my bc.

Don't let him make that decision for you. Honestly if he's treating you like that it doesn't sound like y'all will stay together anyway. Sorry to be so blunt. But if you want kids and he can't even entertain the idea because he is so selfish then that does not sound like a healthy relationship. I could never even fathom the idea of placing a baby for adoption. I have so much respect for women who know that is the best choice for them and go through with it, because I don't think I would ever have enough will to do it. If you truly believe that is the best decision for YOU then that's one thing, but don't make that decision because it's what is best for HIM. You will resent him for the rest of your life, especially if you end up splitting up in the future regardless. It is such a huge decision that will greatly affect you for the rest of your life, I think it's important that you are completely comfortable in your choice.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. He sounds like a douche canoe.

yogahh · October 2015

JessicaB0627 , do I feel a Douche Canoe Friday in our future?

JessicaB0627 · October 2015

@yogahh that sounds like a wonderful idea! Every day could be Douche Canoe Day in my book.

vinerie · October 2015

WTF to ME!! I am trying a new boarder out with my dog and I left her there today to see if she passes the "socialization test." There were dogs barking when we toured the facility and my little girl was so scared. I am sitting at a Starbucks trying to work while she is playing and being evaluated for whether she is properly socialized. I AM SO WORRIED.

All this to say...if I'm like this now with my dog, how will I ever choose a daycare, much less leave my kid there?!?!

ETA: sophieophieoh I'm sorry you're dealing with those issues. I got married relatively late (38 years old) and let me tell you, I dated a LOT of guys before walking down the aisle with my current H. Some were great guys. And some were real assholes. One in particular was really hard to leave; for some reason the jerks make it hard in a weird way. You sit there and think that they can't possibly be acting like this, so if you just wait it out,hoping they will turn into the nice guy they can be. I don't know the details of your situation, but I do hope you recognize that you deserve to be treated well. Looking back at this one particular guy, I remember how absolutely crushed I was when I finally ended it. It took me a long time to get over it, too. And now every so often I get wind of what he's doing and I don't have the tiniest bit of regret in my mind about leaving him.

LemmyRN · October 2015

@sophieophieoh
I would've Madea'd his ass a long time ago. You need to take that time in Cleveland to take a break from that jackhole and to think about whether YOU want your baby; you're so concerned about him you have no clue what you want. Have little/no contact with him and meditate or pray about the life in your womb. After a few days try and answer: Do I want to be my baby's mother?

I wouldn't waste time in this relationship; he treats you like a doormat and has broken down your confidence and self esteem with emotional abuse. You deserve so much better! There is someone out there who will love you. This dude is too in love with himself to love anyone else.

If you do find that you want the baby and that the relationship is ending, I would call his mom and tell her you are pregnant. 2 things could happen: it'll be the nail in the coffin of the relationship AND/OR it'll thrust him into adulthood. I'm Mexican and we get to see the spoiled rotten machismo men every now and then who had been treated like princes all their lives EXCEPT when mama finds out their having a baby. Then mama gets on their ass!

sophieophieoh · October 2015

I have to admit, that GIF cracked me up. He is the youngest of a set of triplets(2 older sisters), the girls are spoiled and he got the sh*t stick. He had a really rough childhood/adolescence and turned to drinking and drugs, living the party life at 12-17, and now his relationship with his parents is strained at best, and they aren't all that fond of me either. He got his shit together in the 2nd year of our relationship. I found out I was pregnant in november 2013 and he reacted very very similarly. We ended up deciding to keep it (after lots of fighting) and told our parents, but I miscarried in December. I don't know why I'm sharing so much, I just can see his parents telling him he's better off cutting his losses. I don't want tp do this alone if I don't have to.. I know I would have support, but it wouldn't be the same. I'm really looking forward to that trip, because I really need time to figure my shit out, without being required to only consider his feelings..

sophieophieoh · October 2015

I want to be just as important to him as he is to himself.(ETA) At least in this situation when it's most important. Is that so terrible?

yogahh · October 2015

sophieophieoh said:

I want to be just as important to him as he is to himself.(ETA) At least in this situation when it's most important. Is that so terrible?

Absolutely not and you shouldn't expect any less.

sophieophieoh · October 2015

Thank you @yogahh

LemmyRN · October 2015

@sophieophieoh
It is so good that you have people who support you! I wouldn't consider his feelings at all while you're on your trip. You are at the fork of a life altering decision that is very important and personal; whether or not you will be your baby's mother. Ignore the "he'll leave me" thoughts... Focus on you and the baby. You have a bit of time so it'll be helpful to meditate/pray and seek professional counseling if possible.

sophieophieoh · October 2015

Definitely

Soontobejones33 · October 2015

So I feel like I have to address the bad fiance issue. I have a friend waiting for a guy to grow up and treat her right. It's tearing her apart. Not worth it. It's gut wrenching listening to her because I can't force her to let go. Walk away. Save your sanity. Please!
Ok. Now my WTF.
My husband just forwarded me the u/s his brother sent him. My BIL, knocked up his non girlfriend. So we are pregnant together even though I've never met her. So anyway the WTF is that she is due a week before me. 1 week! Ruining my chances at the "first" grandchild. (There are already 7 on my side). I've decided that the baby will be born in April, right after I reach 37 weeks. Done.

doozer1345 · October 2015

WTF to the fact that DD got up from her nap today and is running a fever, won't eat, and won't get off the couch or out from under the blanket. We're supposed to go out of town for her first Auburn game Friday and a trip to the Aquarium. $200 we can't get back from the tickets and $240 we can't get back from the hotel room/aquarium. At least I'm able to get her drinking.

thismakes4 · October 2015

WTF to the buyers/buying agent. I'm selling my house and have done all sorts of repairs/upgrades since I had tenants living in there. My agent called me today saying that the buyers wanted all sorts of crazy outrageous "repairs" done. We are closing in 2 freaking days! Well, I have an amazing selling agent and she's like "No way! If you don't want the house I'll put it back on the market." I couldn't believe she actually said that but the buyers freaked out like, "No, no, no! Never mind we'll still take it." Hahaha.

And another WTF to a competitive neighbor who keeps telling "may the best man win". Like thanks lady. I will.

butterfieldm · October 2015

How about this one. I texted my sister with a cute photo of my husband and me and our 8 week 4 days ultrasound and due date. She texted me back that she thought I should have called her and that my text reflected how I felt about her and how high I hold her. Which is not very high. She is 7 years older. So maybe texting is not an everyday thing for her? I thought it was a cute way to tell her. I guess I was wrong. I've been crying and just feel so devastated at her cold reaction. I even called her and asked her what was going on and she hung up on me. Why can family, who are supposed to lift you up and want the best for you, be so cold at times? And this is my first successful pregnancy after two losses. I go back and forth between complete red faced anger and hatred for her and just compete sadness. Just feeling sorry for myself over here!

nerdymama15 · October 2015

My WTF may be a little TMI, but here goes. Have been terrified of the idea of sex for a while now and Sunday we did it for the first time since we got pregnant. Here is the TMI part, I'm afraid to have the hubby on top b/c he might get too rough. I feel if I can control the speed, and depth then it helps lessen my fear. Note that I also have a HUGE fear of spiders. I hate the things. I'll leave them alone outside but once in the house I have to kill them. My hubby always wants to save them. So anyway, Sunday we were in the bed doing our thing when I screamed (and NOT a good scream), there was a spider beside his head. He turned his head over and looked and it started moving towards him. He flicked it off the bed. Now that freaked me out a lot b/c now I don't know where that creepy eight legged thing from hell is. But we did not see it anymore and I had almost forgotten about it.

Fast forward to tonight. We are in the bed doing our thing, and the same thing happens. I see the spider crawl up on the bed and I screamed. The spider turned around and ran back down. My hubby has been cockblocked twice by a voyeur spider. That has to be some kind of omen or something, right?

Luckily, afterwards the eight legged freaky thing from hell made the mistake of coming out in the open and had wedged itself between the box springs and the floor (we have no bed frame). I pushed the box springs to the side and stomped it. It is amazing the amount of strength you have when you are scared.

After I killed it, the hubby made me clean the almost non existent guts off my flipflops. I hit it that hard. I also have a "fear" of walking around without shoes on. So imagine a pregnant woman in flip flops hopping on one foot down the hallway to the kitchen in flip flops. Had to get a paper towel to wipe the remaining spider guts off. I discovered I can still hop pretty good and in flip flops (with socks on) at that! Out of breath, but still.

Second, WTF
Same as the past two weeks. That damn dog that is driving me crazy!

m6agua · October 2015

nerdymama15 said:
My WTF may be a little TMI, but here goes. Have been terrified of the idea of sex for a while now and Sunday we did it for the first time since we got pregnant. Here is the TMI part, I'm afraid to have the hubby on top b/c he might get too rough. I feel if I can control the speed, and depth then it helps lessen my fear. Note that I also have a HUGE fear of spiders. I hate the things. I'll leave them alone outside but once in the house I have to kill them. My hubby always wants to save them. So anyway, Sunday we were in the bed doing our thing when I screamed (and NOT a good scream), there was a spider beside his head. He turned his head over and looked and it started moving towards him. He flicked it off the bed. Now that freaked me out a lot b/c now I don't know where that creepy eight legged thing from hell is. But we did not see it anymore and I had almost forgotten about it.

Fast forward to tonight. We are in the bed doing our thing, and the same thing happens. I see the spider crawl up on the bed and I screamed. The spider turned around and ran back down. My hubby has been cockblocked twice by a voyeur spider. That has to be some kind of omen or something, right?

Luckily, afterwards the eight legged freaky thing from hell made the mistake of coming out in the open and had wedged itself between the box springs and the floor (we have no bed frame). I pushed the box springs to the side and stomped it. It is amazing the amount of strength you have when you are scared.

After I killed it, the hubby made me clean the almost non existent guts off my flipflops. I hit it that hard. I also have a "fear" of walking around without shoes on. So imagine a pregnant woman in flip flops hopping on one foot down the hallway to the kitchen in flip flops. Had to get a paper towel to wipe the remaining spider guts off. I discovered I can still hop pretty good and in flip flops (with socks on) at that! Out of breath, but still.

Second, WTF
Same as the past two weeks. That damn dog that is driving me crazy!

Wait... were your socks on during sex? Weird. I like to have my feet free.

nerdymama15 · October 2015

m6agua
I have psoriasis and can't stand the feeling of my rough skin scraping across the sheets. It gives me the heebie jeebies. I usually wear socks all the time. But at that point we were both dressed again and I had been on a spider hunt lol

TheThornBird · October 2015

@nerdymama15 A few months back, my SO and I were having sex and when we flipped over, a spider came running out from between our stomachs. I guess he had gotten trapped in there; soooo gross!

sophieophieoh · October 2015

@TheThornBird Dx i would have flipped the f out

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