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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Sully3302
member
Does it really get better?
Sully3302
member
I am having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. My almost 6 week old doesn't ever nap longer than 40 mins, sometimes 30. I can't put her down either. She used to sleep well at night but not recent. I am so discouraged and feel like I'm not going to be able to keep this up. My DH works 12 hour days. I'm just so tired, frustrated and lonely.
Re: Does it really get better?
Yeah I had a high needs newborn and I can safely say I got absolutely nothing done while I was on maternity leave, other than keeping myself and my baby alive for 12 weeks. And occasionally laundry, once DH got home for the night. I was actually kind of happy to come back to work - I mean I really miss LO but it's awesome to know that she's being well cared for while I act like an adult for 8 hours a day.
At 10 weeks she started either sleeping through the night or waking up only once between 8pm and 7am, and she was sleeping in her bassinet (transitioned to the crib at 13 weeks). And now, at 4 months, she is so much fun - so happy and active. She did nothing but eat and scream for almost 3 solid months while I was home with her. Around the 6 week mark, we moved naps into the quiet, darkened nursery, which seemed to help - though she would only nap on top of me in the glider. It sucked, but I embraced it. She still does that on weekends sometimes (if she knows I'm around she will want to nap on top of me...but if DH puts her down she will usually put herself to sleep in the crib). At night, she falls asleep nursing and then I transfer her. it hasn't caused any issues and she still only wakes up once MOTN, at the very most.
A lot of kids do more frequent short naps rather than long naps. As they get older the naps become shorter. When LO naps for more than an hour, it's a special treat - but she'll take 3-4 naps/day that are usually around 30-45 minutes. By 6 months, I think most kids do two naps that are 60-90 minutes long, or 3 naps if they're more like 30-45 minutes a piece. Once you transition to one daily nap, it tends to be longer (my 2 year old nephew will sleep for 2+ hours in the middle of the day and 11 hours at night). 45 minutes is actually a pretty solid nap. LO's sleep at 4 months is typically 6:30-7pm - 6-6:30am (with one MOTN feed about half the time), and then naps around 8:30, 11, 1:30, and 4, all about 30-45 minutes long. As soon as she gets cranky at night we start the bedtime process, and that timing largely is based on when she woke up from her last nap of the day. We suspect that in the coming weeks she will start dropping a nap and doing 3 daily naps consistently.
OP I promise it gets better. The 6 week mark is when I got super anxious and depressed with both of my kids and had to speak with my doctor about getting on meds. I started an anti-depressant after my second child was born. I'm not suggesting you do this, but just know that you aren't alone in how you are feeling. Having a baby is so much fucking harder than anyone realizes.
If you feel like you are struggling and can't pull yourself out of it then speak with someone.
But in complete honesty, I had to have a mental shift in the early weeks. I had to tell myself: this is just how babies are; this is how my baby is. After I just accepted it for what it was, it didn't seem so overwhelming, or unnatural. Now that doesn't mean I don't get overwhelmed anymore or frustrated that I can't do one task from start to finish in one go (like shower, dry hair, and dressed) or simply cry because I can't figure out why my baby has decided to start shrieking when horizontal but it helps.