Parenting

discipline

so my 7yr old in the last few weeks has become increasingly fresh and disrespectful and not listening....more to me but to my DH as well. After one night I was upset and had enough my DH decided to talk to her and decided without us discussing it first that from that point on which was Oct.1 until Halloween that if she continued to act that way towards me she would have 3 strikes..if she got 3 before Halloween there would be no trick or treating...he then decided to have the same thing go for our 3 yr old. usually when they don't behave do time outs, take things away like tv, toys, etc. I feel like its a long period of time for both of them and really giving only 3 strikes to a 3 yr old is not going to work as she could get 3 in one day! just wanted to get other thoughts on this as they both have two strikes and I want to go trick or treating with them :(
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Re: discipline

  • Whatever the choice is I think it is important you two discuss it together, you don't want to say one thing and then go back on it later.
    However, in my opinion, 7 is a bit young to only give 3 chances of behaving perfectly until Halloween. And to take away something as special as trick-or-treating doesn't seem fair.
    I don't think it is fair for us to expect our children to act perfectly 100% of the time. Do you never get in bad moods? Do you never get in arguments with your so? It isn't fair for us to expect our children to be any different. 
    Me: 29 | SO: 28
    Started Dating SO: 9/26/2009
    DS Born: 6/02/2012
    Tied the Knot: 11/14/2015
    Trying for Number Two since 9/1/15
    BFP!!! Baby 2 Due: 12/6/21
  • While I agree with the previous poster, it is still your responsibility to teach your 7 y/o how to behave when they are in a bad mood. I would discuss with DH about being more flexible with 3 y/o and save that type of treatment for severe transgressions is: writing on the wall, hitting, etc. With your 7 y/o you know your child. If you can tell she is in a shitty mood remind her how important it is to be respectful to people who you care about, even when you don't feel like it, and you are the only person who has control over if you go trick or treating this year.

    Now that's how I'd handle kiddos, DH on the other hand should be applauded for trying to handle the situation, but given some insight on how to handle things like that in the future. Like, please don't dole out punishments this severe without both of us being on board...
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  • While I agree with the previous poster, it is still your responsibility to teach your 7 y/o how to behave when they are in a bad mood. I would discuss with DH about being more flexible with 3 y/o and save that type of treatment for severe transgressions is: writing on the wall, hitting, etc. With your 7 y/o you know your child. If you can tell she is in a shitty mood remind her how important it is to be respectful to people who you care about, even when you don't feel like it, and you are the only person who has control over if you go trick or treating this year. Now that's how I'd handle kiddos, DH on the other hand should be applauded for trying to handle the situation, but given some insight on how to handle things like that in the future. Like, please don't dole out punishments this severe without both of us being on board...

    This. So much this.
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