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Circumcision regrets

HartmajHartmaj member
in Attachment Parenting
Hi everyone,

I used to post quite often on the bump, particularly the TTC / infertility boards, but now that my youngest is almost two I've been away for a long time. Anyway, I'm struggling with something and it just occurred to me that this would be a great place to turn.

It was a relatively easy decision for us not to circumcise our son. We did some research, saw that the rate of circumcision was declining, the benefits were small (although we noted that they outweighed the risks), and thus not worth the pain and potential complications. Feedback from my OB on our decision was really positive, and that was that.

Flash forward to my first post delivery follow up appointment, and my OB casually mentioned that 99% of her patients circumcise their sons. I was shocked! I asked around and as it turns out, in our traditional, conservative Chicago suburb almost everyone circumcises.

For nearly two years, I have been worrying about this. Will my son be insecure and self conscious about being different? I hate the thought that this might make those already difficult junior high years even worse. Will he be teased or bullied? Will this impact his self confidence?

I wish I could just feel happy with our decision and move on, but I'm worried we made a big mistake.

Anybody else feel this way? Any advice on how to move on?

Thanks in advance...



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Re: Circumcision regrets

  • BigboobsmcgeeBigboobsmcgee member

    I can understand you being worried about all of those things because this is your child and you never want him to struggle with anything, let alone something you chose for him. With that being said, what's done is done and you've already made the decision so you are the one that will have to make peace with it. Think about all the reasons you made this decision back in the beginning and how happy you were with that decision.

    Maybe your OB is exaggerating a tad bit with that percentage because she's totally pro-circumcision. More and more people these days are choosing not to circumcise so he might not stand out as much as you think he will. For me personally, I try my very hardest not to worry about things that are beyond my control or things that might not even come to fruition because it's pointless and a waste of my time. This is one of those worries that might not even come true so look at the positives and don't think about the rest.

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  • HartmajHartmaj member
    Thank you. That is excellent advice!
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  • BigboobsmcgeeBigboobsmcgee member
    Hartmaj said:
    Thank you. That is excellent advice!

    I just re-read what I typed and I hope it didn't come off as rude!
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  • HartmajHartmaj member
    Not at all! You're exactly right. There were, and are, many good reasons not to circ. I should remind myself of why we made that decision. And of course no good comes of pointless worrying! I need to just allow myself to move on.
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  • crsanchez87crsanchez87 member
    I think that you shouldn't worry about it. Like PP said, you are worrying about the "what ifs" which is totally normal as a parent but not needed. DH is not circ'd and he was in the minority of his friends in college/highschool etc. He actually took it as a positive thing that he was different and was proud to not be like every other Tom, Dick, and Harry (pun intended). DS is not circ'd, not just because of dad but because of all the research I did as well. 

    I also agree with PP that your OB may be exaggerating as well and makiing personal beliefs sound like the majority.
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  • HartmajHartmaj member
    Thank you so much for sharing that! It made me laugh, but also remember the importance of making sure my son is proud of and comfortable with his body. Obviously that goes beyond just circumcision, and is a great thing to remember in general.
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  • LIly436LIly436 member
    This is your son's body, let him make a decision when time comes. This procedure is often done later in life for medical reasons, so it would not be a big deal
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  • beanie1977beanie1977 member
    I'm the opposite. We just had our son circumcised a few weeks ago. Bring Jewish I figured we should- at least for the sake of tradition and to give him options later in life if he were to decide to become more religious than us or become a rabbi. I have a friend who could not be a rabbi because he had a hospital circumcision.

    However we are agnostics, a same sex couple and My wife isn't Jewish. The chance of our son wanting to be a rabbi is pretty slim.

    His penis was so perfect before and I feel like I ruined it.
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