Breakdowns

babymama03252016 · October 2015

Has any of you expierenced where out of the blue you just break down even over a little thing. Today at chic fa la saw a pregnant mom with 2 other children and expecting, I've been trying to get better but when I see a pregnant woman I get really upset because I want my bump back . And before me and my partner sat down there were these 2 girls at a booth and right before I sat I heard her say " I can't wait to be pregnant " her and her friend kept talking about it I had to go get a table outside, I just wanted to break down and cry. I feel like an emotional wreck with the littlest things. Just riding in the car I just feel depression taking over. I even looked at how far along I would be and how big my baby would be, i knew it upset me but in a way I couldn't stop. can anyone relate?

mrsmommya · October 2015

How far post miscarriage are you?

babymama03252016 · October 2015

@mrsmommya
About 2 months, I feel like I should be getting better but some days I feel I haven't made progress and some days I do

mrsmommya · October 2015

I am about 5 weeks out and just got my first period. The thought that we could be TTC again soon is very exciting. Have you been given the green light to try again? I also find that I still have bad days/moments where I question if I am truly getting over this....

babymama03252016 · October 2015

@mrsmommya
I had my period about almost 4 weeks ago. I haven't been back to my doctor because I have had bad expierences with them, they were horrible to me. So I am still trying to find a good doctor that can get me in sooner. And me and my partner are in the process of getting a new place together so we are trying to wait and get settled in and then try again. He's very wanting to do everything structured and that's where we differ and it gets hard on me and him at times because we don't see eye to eye. That's also hard on me cause I want to try now but I know the best decision would be to get settled in our new place then try. At least I tell myself that.. I get very depressed with that also cause I want to try now more than anything. I just feel alone

valleric · October 2015

I'm 6 months post mc, and intense waves of sadness still come over me. About 1-2 times a month I just totally breakdown and cry hysterically. It's been a really long year and a half of trying and a mc in the middle.

rachrobertson · October 2015

I am almost 6 months post mc and as my original EDD approaches, I am having more breakdowns. Up until this past month, I would still have a good breakdown out of nowhere at least once a month. I usually breakdown in the shower when I have time to think for myself and that immediately comes to mind.

babymama03252016 · October 2015

@valleric @racheobertson
I am so sorry for yalls losses. I know that it will be a bumpy road of ups and downs until I finally get pregnant again. Even though when I do, that gap is still always going to be there and never be filled. My EDD is March 25 and that will be a hard day also, I'm dreading that day more than ever. I'm glad that I'm not the only one, thank you ladies for responding and my prayers go out to you for getting to have your rainbow baby in the near future :x

ssnova · October 2015

I'm 3 weeks post mc...we miscarried at home at 12 weeks. most of the day I can get through but the early mornings are hard, I wake up feeling like I had a bad dream then reality come flooding back to me and I realize the sarrow and pain I'm facing, that we are all facing, will never go away. Instead we must find a place inside our hearts to carry our children with us as push forward. I've been struggling a lot with not wanting my child to be forgotten so we are going to frame her ultra sound picture to hang in our Christmas tree each year as well find some way to celebrate her on our EDD. These maybe things that might help you as well. Also I bought a book called "pregnancy after loss" just started reading it yesterday but so far it's had good information I really wanted to know about. I'm so sorry ladies

almostahawk · October 2015

ssnova said:

[...] I've been struggling a lot with not wanting my child to be forgotten so we are going to frame her ultra sound picture to hang in our Christmas tree each year as well find some way to celebrate her on our EDD. These maybe things that might help you as well. Also I bought a book called "pregnancy after loss" just started reading it yesterday but so far it's had good information I really wanted to know about. I'm so sorry ladies

I've finding it more difficult too recently. It's been a month and a half since I miscarried, and I've been coping pretty well at work because I'm very busy. But I'm a teacher and it's a half-term holiday. And I've been feeling really low since the break started.

So what Ssnova says really resonates. I keep being drawn back to ideas for remembrance. I feel immense regret that I just flushed the toilet and did not hold it in my had to see, so I bought a beautiful glass raspberry from an Etsy seller because that's what The Bump told me my baby would have been the size of when it died. Also, I plan to plant a raspberry bush in our new garden on the EDD, and perhaps get a stone or plaque engraved with the words "we grew you to a raspberry."

I've also been looking at replica 8-9 week foetus sculptures. I don't know if it seems a bit morbid, but I really regret not seeing it. I'm not so keen on miniature-fully-formed baby sculptures because that's not what my baby would have looked like. I really want to see what it would have looked like had I held it in the palm of my hand.

I'll check out the book you've mentioned.

In deepest empathy all x

ssnova · October 2015

@almostahawk

I understand the regret of not holding your baby...we looked at our baby (we actually buried her in a pot that we painted) but I didn't hold her, not the way I wish I had, it was only when moving her to a baby washcloth that we wrapped her in that I really touched her. But I still regret everyday that I didn't hold her..I'm her mother and I should have held her. I do apologize if that comes across wrong, it's not a judgement in anyway toward you, it's my own personal regret that I'm trying to work through

Very sorry for your loss

almostahawk · October 2015

@ssnova

Yes, I agree, I feel exactly the same. No need at all to apologise.

It's done now though. There's nothing we can to do change what we did.

It sounds like a lovely idea - the pot.

ssnova · October 2015

Thank you. we haven't told a lot of people that we did that, not sure how they would react. I lost my baby at 12 weeks so I knew I couldn't flush but we struggled with what options we really had if we didn't flush and we only had the planter idea because i was desperate for another option so i got online and searched what people did with their miscarried babies and one woman had done that. Your idea for the raspberry bush is a sweet idea its something that can come back every year and become something nice to look forward to each year. still trying to find something to do for my baby's due date.

queenklau · October 2015

I am 5 months post my first mmc and now 1 day post my second mmc. I think that looking forward to my next step helps get me through the day. Now my next step is the d&c and then the physical recovery.

But I can tell you that from experience, I would have breakdowns everyday the first few weeks and then every week and then randomly a few times a month. Time does heal, and the good news of a subsequent pregnancy are such happy times. Unfortunately, I am back to square one and I hope that next time I can have a successful pregnancy and hold my rainbow baby, that is what keeps me going.

ssnova · November 2015

@klauerinaking im so sorry for both your losses

babymama03252016 · November 2015

@klauerinaking
i am so sorry, I will pray for you that everything in your future pregnancies will go smooth. Which I believe it will. When it rains it pours but it always clears up. So stay positive which sounds like you are that type of person, I believe everything will fall into place for you, we are all here to help along the way. I srI'll have breakdowns and it's been about 2 months now, they come out of no where some times. I have faith it will all work out for all of us on here. Love and hugs to you :x

queenklau · November 2015

Thank you ladies. I am hoping we can all stay positive for our rainbows!

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