Pregnancy All Around Me..

jennamarie05 · October 2015

Let me preface this by saying I know I sound super witchy, and I apologize, as that's not my intent, but I need to vent!

I'm 28 and was diagnosed with PCOS in April 2015. To make a long story short, my husband and I have been trying to conceive, with assistance from a reproductive endocrinologist, since then. We've done 3 cycles of letrozole, ovidrel, and timed intercourse, but have yet to become pregnant. We'll be trying our first IUI within a couple of weeks, so we're prayerfully hoping that may be successful! We've kept our struggles pretty quiet, and since I'm one of the younger, more newly married women in my office, everyone keeps asking when we'll start having kids. I just keep saying "hopefully someday!"

Today, not 1, but 2 coworkers announced their pregnancies in a super cute way (bags of popcorn with the label "Someone's About to Pop!), and set them in the break room, with a sign saying "Guess Who!" Of course, I heard from several people saying "its you isn't it!!"

I so badly want to respond with No. Its not. F. You. Thanks for the reminder. But instead I smile politely and say, no not yet, and hug and congratulate the girls who are expecting (within 2 weeks of each other, no less!)

Any tips for dealing when everyone is becoming a mom except you??

BlissfulWifey · October 2015

jennamarie05 said:

Let me preface this by saying I know I sound super witchy, and I apologize, as that's not my intent, but I need to vent!

I'm 28 and was diagnosed with PCOS in April 2015. To make a long story short, my husband and I have been trying to conceive, with assistance from a reproductive endocrinologist, since then. We've done 3 cycles of letrozole, ovidrel, and timed intercourse, but have yet to become pregnant. We'll be trying our first IUI within a couple of weeks, so we're prayerfully hoping that may be successful! We've kept our struggles pretty quiet, and since I'm one of the younger, more newly married women in my office, everyone keeps asking when we'll start having kids. I just keep saying "hopefully someday!"

Today, not 1, but 2 coworkers announced their pregnancies in a super cute way (bags of popcorn with the label "Someone's About to Pop!), and set them in the break room, with a sign saying "Guess Who!" Of course, I heard from several people saying "its you isn't it!!"

I so badly want to respond with No. Its not. F. You. Thanks for the reminder. But instead I smile politely and say, no not yet, and hug and congratulate the girls who are expecting (within 2 weeks of each other, no less!)

Any tips for dealing when everyone is becoming a mom except you??

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGG for a second i thought i had written this in my sleep! I as well am 28 and was diagnosed with PCOS back in apri/may! We have also done 3 round of letrozole and then trigger shot with timed intercourse! no luck! BUT my period has regulated and for the past three months has been on time and a normal 3-4 day length. Last week i went t an RE and had an HSG done to check for any blockages. No blockages and everything looked normal. So we have been doing the BD this week because my ovulation test have been positive. If i dont get pregnant this month i guess we will try another round of letrozole and trigger shot.

BlissfulWifey · October 2015

Might i also add that EVERYONE around me is either giving birth or announcing their pregnancies! and EVERYONE asks us when we are going to have one and I say "When God decides its our turn" its so annoying and makes me MAD,SAD, Disgusted,Spiteful,Resentful,Jealous all at the same time! lol so i feel your pain!!!

ceclarlinetlo · October 2015

If I had a dollar for every time I felt this way I would 17,980 dollars (give or take a dollar lol) I file these types of thoughts under "things that talking about helps me feel better even if it doesn't actually change my situation any" Having someone who is not judegmental that I can confess these feelings to helps take the edge off even if it doesn't really take away the feelings of jealousy completely.

riveridgional · October 2015

@ceclarlinetlo haha...when I read your "if I had a dollar," I instantly thought, "and then I could afford IVF." Maybe we should start charging people for asking their questions and making their comments. Like, "not yet, but before you go would you like to contribute $1 to my infertility fund?"

JuneBaby62 · October 2015

It can be so frustrating when people ask you those questions...I was in your shoes for about 9 months. However, there came a point where I started to allow myself to be a little more vulnerable and admit "we're workin on it!" and it was then that I noticed people began to open up themselves by sharing stories of their own (or friends, etc.). Obviously it's not anyone's business and it's your choice on what you'd like to keep private. For me personally- it really helped when I started to open up a little bit (without oversharing). I noticed how compassionate and supportive people can be and it made me feel a lot better!

Fishie25 · October 2015

I'm sorry you have to deal with those constant reminders.. I can kind of relate in that my husband and I recently got married and we are constantly being asked as well. It seems like all our friends are getting pregnant and my sister-in-law announced to us about two months ago that she was pregnant with her second child and just had to throw in that they were ntnp. As happy as I am for everyone, it is still a pretty upsetting constant reminder..

I wish I had some good tips to share with you on how to deal with these things; I'm having a hard time as well.

Plainjanie · October 2015

I am 100% right there with ya. My go-to response is "We aren't in any rush, we are enjoying being dinks (double income, no kids)"

It is a daily struggle with people either turning up pregnant or asking when I am going to get pregnant. Very frustrating. If it is someone I know well (like my step-mother-in-law) I tell them that it is a rude question and don't ask again.

In the past few months I've had 3 co-workers announce their pregnancy. I have been on-call this past weekend and the 3rd one called me bawling because her and her husband just found out they were expecting and she just wants to go home and hug her husband as they are both so emotional about their news as they have been trying since they got married and were starting to panic as they hadn't got pregnant until now. They got married in June. Of this year. eff you. To make it worse, she wanted me to get out of my bed (as it was late at night) and drive into work and work the last 2 hours of her shift. I told her it was going to take me an hour to get ready and show up, so it wasn't worth it.

I think it's something that has always happened and we are just more aware of it as we are stuck right in the middle.

BlissfulWifey · October 2015

@plainjanie EFF you! lol i feel the same way when people keep telling me" it will happen when you stop trying" STFU!

wifeinraleigh28 · October 2015

I feel like Facebook makes me feel this way on an almost daily basis. When I scroll through my news feed all I seem to see these days are pregnancy announcements or pictures of pregnant bellies and newborn babies. Only 2 of my close friends know we're having difficulties TTC, which means everyone else who knows me is constantly asking, "are you pregnant yet?!" I think it's RUDE RUDE RUDE to ask that question!!!

(

BlissfulWifey · October 2015

@tashaengel people know we are having trouble TTC and i still get texts "any luck yet" like seriously!!! TRUST me when im pregnant the world will know!

jennamarie05 · October 2015

Right?!? Like seriously people, if and when there's news to tell, we'll tell! Otherwise, don't keep bringing it up!!

SmileyMcGee · October 2015

@riveridgional that made me laugh so hard!!

It's really tough at times, we've been married 6.5 years and thankfully people have just about stopped asking us now.
However, it's still hard when people around you are announcing pregnancies. I had one this week that put me on a downer for days. They've got a 3.5yr old, 2yr old twins and "then I found out I was bloody expecting again, I didn't find out until 21weeks" and referred to the baby as IT & made a point of telling me it wasn't planned nor really wanted. I had to walk away before I completely broke down!
Anyway, that's my rant over! I feel your pain and you're definitely not alone. Hugs all round ladies xx

heincm · October 2015

Your post resonates with me a lot. This last year I had several girlfriends get pregnant, all oopsies, and then my oldest sister who had an IUD got pregnant with her third. I honestly don't have any advice aside from allowing yourself time to deal with the emotions. Your not wrong to feel sad, or angry for yourself. People who have never dealt with infertility don't understand how you can be sad or angry for yourself and happy for someone else at the same time but that's how it works, its a difficult balancing act, well for me at least.

Talk to your partner or a friend, and use this forum. Know that your not alone. I hope you, and everyone on the board will get their BFPs one day. Positive thoughts and baby dust your way dear.

jbal918 · October 2015

I'm praying it happens for us all soon!
I teach and right now, two teachers are out on maternity leave and one is about to leave at the end of the year. Although I am so happy for them, it is really hard to smile some days.

And I swear, if one more person says just give it time, I'm going to go crazy!!

iloverocksalot · October 2015

I got the news that my sister in law (my husband's brother's wife) got 'surprise' pregnant just TWO DAYS after we found out our only IVF embryo fizzled. Needless to say I was devastated. To make matters worse we went on vacation with them a month later and I was jealous the whole time. Of course, now I am about to be an aunt, but it could not have been worse timing. My best advice is similar to the other women- give yourself the time to be sad. It's OK to be hurt. I was fine for nearly all of our trip, but there was one day I just couldn't do it. It made me nauseated with jealousy just to be around her and so I asked my husband if we could just do a day on our own. It worked. I gave myself the time and space away and it reset my crazy emotions.

MrsAlT68 · October 2015

I feel you, and I'm so sorry it's something you have to go through. I try and think that maybe they had trouble and it's finally happening for them, like when it's you and you can finally announce it to the world. I try and imagine they are on your side, not "the enemy" we sometimes can't help but feel they are.

I've recently struggled with people not just getting pregnant but "knocked up" For example, right about the time we found out we were going to have a problem TTC my brother and his gf got pregnant. They dont hold steady jobs, arent responsible, they were actually breaking up, and before that never planned on getting married or having kids. She has a daughter from a boyfriend before, and she actually had 2 kids from a marriage when she was young and she gave them up for adoption: this isn't public knowlege so I can't even tell most people how much they make me want to scream from the top of a building.

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