18month old new baby on way — The Bump
Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

18month old new baby on way

I'm new to the group. Was wondering if any moms out there have a toddler and another baby on the way. I am currently 4 months pregnant with my second child. Anyone have issues explaining to your older child about the new baby? My daughter is very attached to my husband and I and was wondering if it would make her jealous or how to go about not having that happen if its possible

Re: 18month old new baby on way

  • We're at about the same stage (16 months and I'm due in April), but I do daycare for one little boy, so DD has had to share me since she was 6 months old. From what I've heard talking to other 2u2 parents, there is no "explaining" so much as preparing ways for them to stay involved (finding clean diapers/wipes, bringing baby their blanket etc) and then riding out the jealousy that will almost always come. The age gap seems to be both a blessing and a curse in that they don't (usually) have the logic to explain the situation to them but they rebound faster because they've had less time to be an only child.
    That said, I love the book I am a Big Sister by Caroline Church (http://m.target.com/p/i-am-a-big-sister-hardcover/-/A-16685773) to start introducing the concept of baby. It's the tearless pages between board books and regular books and the perfect "reading" level for the 1-2 year old new siblings. Everything else I've found is either very basic (a couple words/page if any) or written for 3-4 year olds.
    Good luck!
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  • @mrstrax I was going to recommend the same book! Daughter is just 21 months, and became a big sister three weeks ago. She is in love with this book. We bought it when I found out I was pregnant. She liked it, but it wasn't her favorite. The day after we brought little sister home she asked to read it SO MANY times!
    I also bought her a baby doll when we started TTC, and she's been obsessed with that for a while. It helps with the times when your attention HAS to be focused on the baby. "I'm feeding baby, why don't you feed your baby? " etc...

    Pretty much, we were as matter-of-fact and direct as possible. "We are having a baby, and you are going to be a big sister!!" We didn't go into any kind of explanation, or anything extra, but we did repeat it often, in situations where it made sense. I would point out siblings at the store, or in picture books.
    We didn't make a huge over the top big deal about it, and (knock on wood) so far she's been really chill about little sister, and I haven't really seen any jealousy.
  • Glad it's going well for you! I just re-read my post from last night and realized I never mentioned that with DD, jealousy usually looks like extra clinginess/snuggles not aggression or anything like that. The most "inappropriate" behavior I've seen with her jealousy is not letting me share my lap to read (I put her on one side and she sides to the middle so he doesn't fit).
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