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Family members don't want to know sex of baby...

Kennedy0830Kennedy0830 member
in May 2016 Moms
Had an odd conversation with extended family this weekend on DH's side. He has a rather large family and after they were asking us questions about the pregnancy, 4 family members (aunts and uncles) were adamant on not knowing the sex of our baby when we find out (one specifically said "DO NOT tell me."). I was a bit blown away as we clearly stated we would find out.

Like I'm obviously not going to walk on eggshells around these family members after we find out (aka be careful if I say him/her when referring to my baby), nor am I going to make sure my baby registry is gender neutral because 4 people stated they didn't care to know. But has anyone else run into this?

I must state that I get along with these family members very well, so it's not like a situation where they are just being jerks/trying to upset me.
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Re: Family members don't want to know sex of baby...

  • lalala2004lalala2004 member
    That seems really odd to me.... Is it a superstitious thing?
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  • yogahhyogahh member
    Yeah what do they expect? You to build a registry around them? I agree, that's odd.

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  • nsouplynnnsouplynn member
    That's really odd. Are these older family members?
    (Me) 30 & (DH) 32 {Together 11 years - Married 04.17.15}

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  • lionstigersbearslionstigersbears member
    It's one thing to personally be team green, but for family members to be team green on your pregnancy?! It just doesn't work out for obvious reasons. I have an odd sense of humor so if it were me I'd totally play into it and be oh so very concerned, so much that I had to have a special conversation with them about respecting their wishes. But how can I and still invite you to my shower?!
    Me 27 | DH 28
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  • Jenly17Jenly17 member
    edited October 2015
    I've never run into this, as I was team green with my first pregnancy, but even if I found out the sex, I would be pretty confused. :-q
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  • avidkeoavidkeo member
    I've had people say that - not family members but others. I just ignored them. I am not changing my behavior just because you want to dictate something about my pregnancy. If they find out by accident,(on purpose :p) tough luck. 
    Angel baby June 2013, DD born 22 April 2014, BFP 10 Sept 2015 - Due 22 May 2016
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  • lest12lest12 member
    Even if they avoided your registry and any conversations with mutual relatives... they'd find out if they came to your baby shower ?

     

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  • Dasha420Dasha420 member
    That's very interesting. I wonder why. Did they tell you why they don't want to know?
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  • cortney626cortney626 member
    That is kind of odd. But I guess some people prefer to be surprised. But I'd remind them it's not that simple. It's inevitable that they'll find out either from someone else, the registry, or baby shower. Maybe they're not thinking it through.
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  • camillaandcarsoncamillaandcarson member
    edited October 2015
    How awkward! Can you just pretend like that conversation didn't happen? Then proceed forward happily despite their extreme awkwardness about your harmless and happy wishes with your own baby? Share your joy with as much true joy as you see fit whenever and with whoever you want just as if they had never made it a "thing".
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  • TXmamatobeTXmamatobe member
    Uhhhh...dare I say, too bad?!?! That's not your responsibility to keep the secret around them. As other posters have said, they will eventually find out. You don't have to tell them directly but you don't have to go out of your way to keep it a secret until the baby is born, either.
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  • Bluejay3030Bluejay3030 member
    Totally bizarre!! And they didn't give you a reason??
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  • Kennedy0830Kennedy0830 member
    Thanks so much for the feedback all. I was just making sure I wasn't crazy! They are all around 45-55 years old so nothing off the charts. And no one gave a reason. I think my blank stare was proof that I was just in shock. I don't think any of them thought that far in advance to think that it would literally be impossible and a HUGE hassle for me to change how I say things/how I register/etc for 5 people.

    Again, I am going to just keep chugging along with my plan and not change how I act or watch what I say. I'll just say blame it on pregnancy brain when I "slip"!
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  • stiches221stiches221 member
    With our first baby my FIL didn't want to know the sex. We were surprising the grandparents with gender revealing Christmas presents. I told him you are going to find out even if it's not from us cause family will know and they won't keep their traps shut around you and we are posting it on fb after we let family know so there is no avoiding it. He still didn't want to know but when we handed him his present (a picture frame with the ultrasound image with the gender on it) he was so excited to know he was having a granddaughter.
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  • BlueJuiceBlueJuice member
    My first pregnancy, my mother was this way. She had all four of her children without any ultrasounds so I guess she's just fond of the surprise at delivery? She's pretty chill generally so she didn't make a huge fuss or anything, and we compromised by telling other people but not her when we found out at 20 weeks, but of course one of my uncles accidentally outed the baby's sex to her when they were chatting at some point. So I would just tell them you get that they would rather not know, but that you're planning to find out and share the news with people, and maybe they should think about whether they'd prefer to find out directly from you, or accidentally via the grapevine. The odds of them making it all the way to delivery without having found out are dreadfully low.
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  • sosweet487sosweet487 member
    Kennedy0830 said:
    Had an odd conversation with extended family this weekend on DH's side. He has a rather large family and after they were asking us questions about the pregnancy, 4 family members (aunts and uncles) were adamant on not knowing the sex of our baby when we find out (one specifically said "DO NOT tell me."). I was a bit blown away as we clearly stated we would find out. Like I'm obviously not going to walk on eggshells around these family members after we find out (aka be careful if I say him/her when referring to my baby), nor am I going to make sure my baby registry is gender neutral because 4 people stated they didn't care to know. But has anyone else run into this? I must state that I get along with these family members very well, so it's not like a situation where they are just being jerks/trying to upset me.
    My mother in law said the exact same thing to me! I didn't know what to say. I decided that she is pretty much the only one who doesn't want to know and if it's that big of a deal to her then she can find a work around it because I know that all of my other family/friends want to know just as much as me  :-*
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  • folamijifolamiji member
    My FiIL told me yesterday that hubby and I shouldn't find out the gender because the excitement of finding out at birth. Granted he went on to deeper cultural levels, as I from US and he is not. This isn't changing our decision as we should know later today haha, but sometimes older family members expect the younger ones to do their bidding. Do what you want.
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