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Help Please: Approaching Former Due Date...

rachajoy09rachajoy09 member
in TTC After a Loss
Kind words and support needed, please! It's been about 6 months since my MMC at 10w+5 and my EDD was October 26. With Infant & Pregnancy Loss Remembrance Day and my brother-in-law's gender reveal party both on the 15th, it's been an extra hard week. Like tears at least once a day.

I was hoping to be pregnant again by now, but it just hasn't happened yet. Trying to stay positive but it's weighing on me. BFN this morning but I'm only 10 DPO haha, just wishful thinking. Please share any helpful words you ladies might have, I need some of your strength
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Re: Help Please: Approaching Former Due Date...

  • AL_TwinCitiesAL_TwinCities member
    I'm so sorry you are going through this. My EDD was in April, and I had a really hard time with it. My DH and I snuggled and I allowed myself to grieve - take all the time you need. It may be helpful to do something in remembrance of your LO: release a balloon at a place you love, lay flowers somewhere that is meaningful to your family, get a tattoo, plants tree, etc. I finally got a tattoo in remembrance of our LO a year after we had told my family we were expecting, and it helped so much I wish I had done it sooner.

    Thinking of you! Hugs.
    me 30; DH 35
    TTC since May 2014.
    Aug 2014 BFP, EDD April 22, 2015. Low progesterone, started suppositories. Loss at 5w6d.
    Nov 19, 2015 BFP at 13 dpo, EDD July 29, 2016. MMC discovered 12/29 (9+4). Natural miscarriage 1/16 (12+1).
    AMH results 0.42, 1.2; FSH 12.1, AFC 10, dx DOR. 
    RPL testing results normal. Nurse recommended progesterone suppositories in TWW.
    Clomid + trigger + TI cycle August 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
    Femara + trigger + TI cycle December 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
    Short LP (8 days).
    Acupuncture & Chinese herbs starting January 2017, lengthened LP to 10 days 

    Summer 2016 LFAF awards: 



    Winter 2016/2017 LFAF awards:

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  • carrieandrcarrieandr member
    My EDD based on ovulation would have been Halloween. (The doctor said Nov 5th based on LMP, hence the signature)

    I never imagined I wouldn't be pregnant by now.  I did get pregnant once since the MMC -- I had a chemical pregnancy Labor Day weekend.  Two losses and no kids at the age of 37 make it really hard to think positively.  But I try.  Focusing on other things helps, but my mind always returns to TTC.  I wish I had something to say that would make it better, but it seems like the only way forward is to keep picking yourself up after you break down. Wipe your tears, set your mind right, and focus on something else for a while.  Keep doing this and eventually, you'll reach the happy ending.
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
    BFP 2/16/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks      •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
    BFP 9/24/18  •      CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













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  • msuzannahmsuzannah member
    I'm so sorry that it's been such a hard week for you. My edd was October 25 and I am dreading the fact that it is coming up. It doesn't help that af is due 2 days before. I'm sending all the good vibes and lots of hugs your way!!
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  • crob5685crob5685 member
    That is a lot to deal with! Hugs!!!
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  • rachajoy09rachajoy09 member
    @AL_TwinCities thank you so much for the advice! DH and I are in the process of buying our first home so once we move in, I think planting a memorial tree is the perfect idea.

    @CarrieandRoy I really, truly appreciated your heartfelt and honest response. These past few days I've been telling myself "wipe your tears, refocus, keep going" and it's really been helping. I feel like it helps me to validate my grief but not dwell.

    @msuzannah @crob5685 sending some returning good vibes and hugs to you both!

    Sincere thanks to you all for your time when I really needed it, may we all find some peace as we continue this road. Wishing I could share some wine with you all <3
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  • MrsGargoyleMrsGargoyle
    All I can really offer is that, in time, it does get easier to bear. The sadness will always be there, but it becomes more of a comfortable ache, rather than a searing pain. Be kind to yourself.

    All advice given based on lengthy personal experience.

    I am not a doctor, I just have a working medical vocabulary.

    Always available to answer questions about loss, infertility, and TRP.

    imageimage

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  • carrieandrcarrieandr member
    @msuzannah, I'm glad I could help.  I've been struggling too, and trying to help someone else get through it helps me get through it. 
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
    BFP 2/16/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks      •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
    BFP 9/24/18  •      CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













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  • MamaBishMamaBish member
    Hugs to you. I found that the build up leading up to the due date was harder than the actual day. It was a relief to get past the due date. You can do this!
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    🌈  Preemie 2016  🌈
    ♥ Stillborn 2015 ♥
            
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  • smfeurosmfeuro member
    I agree with PP, my EDD was yesterday and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I asked DH the date randomly and then remembered for myself. I didn't say it out loud, and I didn't let DH in on my thought but I was silent for a moment for my little one. Like all of you I never thought I wouldn't have a kid by now. They never tell you in high school that it could take a while for you to be pregnant. They just shove safe sex down your throat and say "well when you get married, then you can start having babies" okay I wish it was that easy. 

    Me: 30
    Hubs: 31
    Married: 05/04/2013
    BFP#1: Natural Loss; 8/12/14
    BFP#2: D&C 3/7/15
    Chart Stalk:

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