Need advice- newborn sleep

Cmoniga · October 2015

I finally delivered my baby girl Tuesday night via an emergency c-section. It's been a whirl wind and I'm still in the hospital. I'm having major anxiety regarding going home tomorrow and I feel like the nurses aren't giving me enough advice about this topic.

I'm breast feeding and my daughter latched immediately. She had "cluster feeding" less than 24 hours after birth. I didn't sleep at all. All she wanted want to be attached to me breast. She never slept, I swear. The nurses insisted on taking her to the nursery each night for about 1-2 hours so I could sleep. I felt so guilty about this.

My problem now is slightly different. I've started to produce more so she is eating more and napping. The problem now is that she will only sleep if coddled by me or my husband and will not transition to the bassinet. She will BF, fall
Asleep on me (which I attempt to avoid, but it's impossible), and if I try to wake her or move her she becomes hysterical. I have to use walking, lightly tapping her bumb, rubbing her back/bumb, shushing, rocking, and a pacifier. She passes out after a few minutes. I then (after she's been asleep for a while) attempt to transition her to the bassinet and within minutes of being moved she is waking up and eventually starts crying hysterically again.

I am firmly against co-sleeping. My husband and I are both overweight, my husband is a heavy sleeper, and we use multiple pillows- it's just not safe. But I have NO idea what to do when we go home tomorrow. I don't understand why she ends up getting an hour or two of sleep in the bassinet for the nurses, but refuses to for us.

I can't go on much longer without sleep. As helpful as my husband tries to be, he's not reliable. He has slept far More than I have over these last three days, yet he holds her midday and falls asleep with her in his arms. I almost lost my mind. So this means when we go home
It's all on me. How will I function?

Any advice on how to get her sleeping in the bassinet and not on us? What am I doing wrong or could be changing?!

valerierose15 · October 2015

Your baby had been nestled in your womb for nearly 10 months. You can't expect her to just sleep alone at a few days old.

Have you tried swaddling her?

Bingj · October 2015

I'm so sorry, I'm a third time mom and I definitely understand your frustration. Two things that I can think of is making sure baby girl is full and swaddled. I know she falls asleep while eating but try to make sure she gets enough to eat by tickling her feet or offering one breast wake her to burp her and offer the other breast. If burping doesn't wake her enough you can change her diaper then offer the other breast. Also when she is done eating and you've burped her, swaddle her and the do the shushing and rocking if you need to. Once you lay her down in her bassinet that startle reflex will be stopped with the swaddle. I hope this helps you!!

I want to add that sometimes babies cry hysterically when they are gassy. Try to get a burp out of her after every feeding. If you burp her by holding her chin and patting her back try putting gentle pressure on her belly with the heel of your hand that's supporting her chin.

ameares721 · October 2015

This was my life exactly for the first week!!! My husband literally fell asleep holding her and when I heard her crying I went out to the living room to see her nearly upside down because his arm slid down and blanket over her face. She was screaming and he was sleeping away like a baby himself!!! Anyway, when she was in a deep sleep (we can tell by picking up her arm a little and if it just drops and she doesn't resist or wake up, she's in a deep sleep) we would move her to the bassinet. She would be okay for a while and then wake up and cry. I added in white noise from a $10 sound machine I got at target, covered the bassinet mattress in my husband's shirt (for his scent), and got permission from the pediatrician to prop the mattress up at a 30 degree angle so she wasn't completely flat since we never held her completely flat. All of those helped. She is also a busy sleeper - constantly grunting and moving in her sleep. I ended up ordering the Ollie swaddle which has helped a lot!!! You can look it up and see what you think, but the first night I used it she was two weeks old and past her birth weight and she slept nearly ten hours!!! She is much better in her bassinet now. I hope this helps!!!

jamielynne1533 · October 2015

I agree with the above to wake her if she falls asleep eating. When I had my daughter 3 weeks ago the nurses told me to strip her down and do skin to skin to feed her and if she fell asleep still, then tickle her feet. I did that and she nursed longer and started to sleep longer. I also agree to swaddle! She had to be swaddled to sleep. Can you ask the nurses what they are doing with her in the nursery that is getting her to sleep for an hour or two? Also, make sure you take advantage of the nursery tonight! Feed her and make sure she gets good and full, turn off all the lights and electronics and sleep. I'm not sure how ya feel about it, but the nurses gave me the option of having my daughter come back for feedings or not. If I chose not to, they would formula feed her through the night and bring her back in the morning.

elissa2435 · October 2015

I had the same thing my first week. It gets better. Trust me.
My daughter was up all the time. I got a small swaddle for her since I can't wrap a blanket into one. I fed her several times before putting her to bed. Also woke her up in the evenings so she'd be up for an hour or two before bedtime. I also raised her head a bit in the bassinet and that helps her not choke.
Last night she only woke once to eat and she's two weeks old. She ate at 11 when I was still up, woke at 3:30 and then at 7. I was so happy! The key for her is to feed her enough so she's not starving.
Best of luck and hang in there! Also know it's ok not to do everything during the day and rest when your child naps. It will help keep you sane.

whitemn04 · October 2015

My baby tends to nap most of the day and is awake at night unless he's on my chest. I put him in the crib and he starts crying the second I doze back off. I feel like his days and nights are backward and I'm frustrated. Like you, I don't know what to do to get him to sleep more without being co dependent on me the whole time.

maiatene · October 2015

@whitemn04 if days and night are backward you have to differentiate between the two. Days should be bright, full of noise and activity... night should be slower paced, dim and quiet. Also try letting him sleep in the crib during the day to see what adjustments you make for the night. Sorry to jack your thread @Cmoniga.. The other mums said it all

christina4436 · October 2015

That is awful you are not getting the advice you need. Have you tried a paci? Sometimes I have to use that to quiet her down. Once it falls out if she isn't in a deep sleep she goes crazy and I have to put back in or hold in. I have her in a bassinet right next to me. I also propped her mattress as my pediatrician suggested Bc she spits up. It has definitely helped and her nose isn't alway clogged now. It's not safe sleep but she is right next to me and I hear everything. I've heard the gas and colic drops help, I would try those. I nap during day while she does in the swing. Good luck and hang in there!

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