How to be excited for pregnancy when you've struggled with infertility

RMM1204 · October 2015

I am posting this thread in hopes that I am not the only one feeling this way. I'm currently about 5 weeks pregnant (I won't officially know how far along I am until I get my first ultrasound on Tuesday). DH and I had been TTC for about 8 months, but most of those had been with an RE due to my age and PCOS. Sometimes I think it happened too quickly for us, and that it's bound not to work out. I feel like so many women who get pregnant on the first try or so probably never feel the irrational fears that I do and I envy them.

Anyone have suggestions for how to stay positive thoughout these 9 months and not fear every dr appointment?

rmlhfox · October 2015

I'm in the same boat as you! We spent 3 years trying to get pregnant. Finally ended up with an RE and gave that a shot without any luck. Low and behold we find out we're expecting after giving up 6 months ago. I wish I could say I'm excited, but I feel like I live 85% of my day in fear. I've had 2 miscarriages so of course I feel like it will happen again. I try to stay positive, but the pain of losing a baby weighs heavily. I wish I had something more upbeat to say to you other than don't question the timing... you're pregnant and that's wonderful! I pray that your pregnancy is happy and healthy! Happy baby growing!

cattlebride · October 2015

Alot of ttgp graduates have the mantra that "today I'm pregnant" and just to enjoy each day that you are.

It took us 12 months to get pregnant with our first and 11 this time. I felt it was much easier to feel more excited and positive once you've seen baby on ultrasound and seen the heart beat.

rakattack · October 2015

Once I had my 6w u/s, and they saw a heartbeat, I felt a lot better. I got pg with our first IVF cycle. I also saw a chart somewhere about risk of miscarriage each day throughout early pregnancy, and my risk is down to 5%, which makes me feel better as well.

NicknShan · October 2015

I am sorry you are feeling like this. Although I cannot relate to the infertility side, I can most definitely relate to the feelings of depression early in this pregnancy. Hugs.

tarier · October 2015

4 years of infertility treatments with several failed IUIs, one failed IVF, and now pregnant from FET, I can definitely relate. Every little thing worries me and I don't know that I'll ever be okay. I have my second u/s at my fertility clinic on Tuesday and I'm worried that we won't have good news. (We did see the yolk sac and beginning of the fetal pole last week, but I'm still pessimistic.)

CopperLane · October 2015

I am the opposite. It took us a year and a half with PCOS to conceive and I am just beyond thrilled that it finally happened. I don't want to put stress behind worrying about what may go wrong because I believe that everything in this universe happens for a reason. Im trying to enjoy my pregnancy and the fact that we were able to conceive. Im definitely not enjoying the nausea and other crumby symptoms but it's par for the course.

I'm sure you will feel better once you have your first ultrasound.

susykat77 · October 2015

I can SO relate!! Every time I go to the bathroom I look at the toilet paper with fear that there will be blood but then another part of me feels that after all the failed IVF cycles and struggles that this little bean is the one! Sending you big hugs.

mrszoess · October 2015

I agree with all of this. it only took one cycle of clomid for me and I'm still scared from a super early mc in January.

Lu+Lu · October 2015

@RMM1204 sorry you're feeling this way, I can completely understand as I am in a similar situation. What I tell myself is that I cannot change what does or doesn't happen with the baby between now and delivery so I try to enjoy each day as it comes, today I enjoy my naps and reading my books, my walks and cuddles with my dog, feeding my hopes that one day our little one will join in, just for today. Tomorrow I repeat and hope this will carry me through the whole pg. My thoughts are with you and I hope you can enjoy what you DO have today. ❤️

osumae · October 2015

I feel the same way. I'm about 5.5 weeks. We've been waiting for this since 2010. I've had surgeries, fertility diets, and trouble ovulating. We were finally scheduled to see an RE and I got an unexpected BFP two days before the appointment. Now, since we did it "on or own," doctors won't do anything until 10-12 weeks. Seriously? I just need you to show me hat a a sac is there. Please.

Sumi00 · October 2015

I have PCOS and it took me a year to conceive my daughter with treatments, so I know where you're coming from! You have to try to not let your fears overpower you. The first trimester is the worst, but afterwards you might find yourself enjoying the pregnancy. Try to have a positive attitude. Also, this time, at 36, I was able to conceive in 6 months without meds, so you may not struggle in the future!

HBamama2B · October 2015

@RMM1204 I'm sorry and sympathize with what you're feeling. We struggled and finally conceived through IVF. My miscarriage risk remains pretty high due to age and other factors so I know it's a long hike to that live birth. We talked about it and DH and I decided to enjoy the pregnancy like we were normal parents with no reason to worry. In reality we take it day by day and measure everything by weeks. Made it to week 5! Made it to week 6! Now we are just working on week 7 and enjoying the moments that come with it. I think I will always have some fear, checking the tissue paper after wiping, hesitation to buy things for the baby. But I try to accept the fear and let it go quickly. I hope you have a H&H 9 months and find some comfort in pregnancy symptoms as they develop.

cdnrunning · October 2015

There are so many "milestones" to worry about - first ultrasound for viability, blood work for chromosome testing, more ultrasounds, etc. It seems like when you just get comfortable with one set of results there's something else to worry about. I hope at some point, I can sit back and enjoy this little miracle.

emucoleman · October 2015

I'm sorry that you're going through this. I actually have never struggled with infertility so I can't relate completely, but I have to say that even I had a lot of fears with my last pregnancy and nothing helped except the passing of time. I felt a little more calm with each week that went by. Sorry I don't have any advice or anything, but I hope that you find a way to enjoy this pregnancy and that everything goes well!

sara_986 · October 2015

Yes!! We finally got a positive after nearly a year of trying following a miscarriage requiring two d & c's..we are SO happy but I'm just holding my breath and it is SO hard to relax and enjoy being pregnant when the fears stay in your mind. I hope you get some relief after your ultrasound on Tuesday. That's our first OB appointment also

RMM1204 · October 2015

Thanks everyone! It's great to hear I'm not alone. I'm trying desperately to live by the mantra that I have a healthy pregnancy until someone tells me otherwise.

Wishing everyone a h&h 9 months!! We all deserve it!

Renomomma · October 2015

We have been to the RE with both pregnancies. The first time we had 2 IUIs and had a beautiful baby boy. I checked for bleeding every time I wiped throughout the pregnancy, terrified. This time it took 4 cycles and we were ready to give up. Now, I still am terrified that it really worked and pray that all goes well. I hope the same for you - today we are pregnant. Enjoy today and best wishes for healthy pregnancy!

stxaggie · October 2015

Not alone! We tried for 18 months and did 3 rounds of Clomid and IUI's...nada. We stopped trying so hard while I looked for a good RE and two months later here we are. I am 35 and will be a FTM and will likely be freaked out until after all the testing and ultrasounds.I got bloodwook last week and my numbers looked good and first ultrasound is Wed and Dr. on Thursday, middle of my 5th week.

I made myself stop looking up what could go wrong and am only focusing on the positive!!! At this point all I can do is take care of myself and be healthy, the rest is out of my hands!

ucfgemini · October 2015

@Lu+Lu , I love your post!!! I think I may print it for a daily affirmation!

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