New to this page and scared

sandiego715 · October 2015

Hi,
Im not sure what to think right now. I am reading through these posts and I dont understand any of it. Its all foreign but I think I will start to learn about it. I am having my 3rd MC. All three empty sacs. This last one was an irregular sac. I was told that once I pass or get D&C, I will be referred to an RE Specialist to help me figure out what is causing all of this. Chromosomal in addition to anything else. Anyway, i feel weird but not In a bad way but in a scared way. I dont know what our future holds. Im 34 and he is 38. We just want our first. Any wirds of wisdom as to what to expect or even what the RE will be doing, Cost? Just scared and looking for guidance. Thanks in Advance

kuposa17 · October 2015

@sandiego715 I'm so sorry for what you are going through! I don't have any advice on recurrent MC or what tests they specifically do for that, but I do think working with an RE is a good move. Despite the cost of infertility treatments and testing (which varies depending on each person's situation) I think the information gained is totally worth it. I'm sure others can give more details on genetic testing, my only understanding is that it's expensive but also a game-changer in terms of info and success rate. Sending you a big internet hug!

HBamama2B · October 2015

@sandiego715 Hi and welcome. I'm glad you joined the board and I'm very very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what your going through, but I do understand the fear that comes with seeing an RE for the first time. The good news is that taking this step will help give you a) answers and b) action. I found both things really comforting during my first apt. It felt good to move forward.

For me, at the first visit my RE discussed my symptoms, history, and my partners history then did an exam and bloodworm and ordered some diagnostic testing. I came in knowing I had PCOS, but it wasn't until further testing that we found DH had MFI and that that was complicating our efforts. By going in knowing where the issue is for you (you can get pregnant, but the embryos aren't developing) the RE will be able to move ahead quickly and will present you with a plan or the option of plans for getting pregnant.

Whereas OBs told me I was butting up against Advanced Maternal Age (I'm 34 too) at the RE's office I was considered 'young' compared to the general client base. It changed how the treatment felt and was a nice break from feeling like I was at the end of my reproductive road rather than at the beginning.

All this to say, I hope you will find a positive experience with your RE after your losses and find your rainbow baby in your very near future. FX for you and please keep us updated!

sandiego715 · October 2015

Thank you. This is all comforting:) i have a friend who did iui years ago and has told me she wished she would have gotten help sooner. Meaning she thought going to a specialist wasnt a bad thing. Scared to find out but I just hope it is something where he and i together can create a child. ❤️

riveridgional · October 2015

@sandiego703 I don't personally have experience with this, but I have read a few women on here say they have had testing done on tissue once the miscarriage has passed or the D&C completed. I believe the test can indicate whether the MC likely ocurred due to chromosomal factors. In the event your's passes before your RE appointment, you may want to ask your RE if this is something they would want to test.

I can't imagine what you are going through and my heart goes out to you. Hopefully your RE can provide you with answers. I don't think any one regrets going to an RE; I've only heard regrets that they didn't go to one sooner.

sandiego715 · October 2015

Thank you @riveridgional I have lots of question to write down I guess. Including the tissue from d&c. Im just annoyed because i just had a d&c in May and all this blood work etc from this one and the 2 ultrasounds i just had for this one and they need more stuff to make sure the levels are are going down...all this money for nothing. The thought of having a 3rd d&c makes me cringe because i can pass at home for free. I will ask though. Its my bday tomorrow and i need to figure out how to enjoy it without thinking baby.

vssbrm · October 2015

I am so sorry you have had to go through this. I have no experience with MC but have to imagine it is much harder than years of bfns. I hope the RE gets you answers quickly and a baby just as quickly. My fingers will be crossed for you.

mskeenan · October 2015

I am so so sorry for your losses ! I had an early loss last month . I know that's not the same as what you have gone through but I can relate to the pain . I wonder when it will stop hurting . I have two friends that both had 4 miscarriages before having kids (they each have two now ) and they give me hope !

I think it's great you are going to an RE . Hopefully you will get some good answers . Like others have said the cost is variable . Do you know what your insurance will cover ? Genetic testing is expensive - when I looked into it for us it was at least 750 for the basic tests out of pocket because we didn't meet criteria to have insurance cover it . With recurrent moscarriage , however , maybe insurance will cover ?

I was nervous for my first RE visit but after finding a great doctor I feel like I can keep my spirits up because I'm being proactive and figuring out what my issues are . I hope you get some good answers that will allow you to have a healthy pregnancy soon . Hugs and prayers !!!

sandiego715 · October 2015

You and your friends give me hope. As strange as it is, i have hope as of now that I will get my babies but when. I could not imagine 4 mc. But they have 2 kids!!!!

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