All I wanted to do since I was really young was to be a mum. I wanted to get married to the love of my life and make beautiful babies with him. I found my husband when I was 15 and we've been together 14 years now. So when we decided it was time to have a baby I was so excited. I was finally going to be a mummy. Then our daughter was born and I got post natal depression. I got over that eventually and wanted another baby. We had our son and I got it again but it kicked in later. My son is now 2 and a half and I am 6 months pregnant. I am now starting to get so emotional I can't pull myself together enough to even do the dish or make me bed. This morning I am trying over a new tshirt I bought. I took the tag off and made a miniature (and I mean tiny) hole in the fabric near the neck at the back and I burst into tears!!
If this is all I wanted for my life, to be a mum and have a big happy family, then why I'd my body doing this to me????? This is our last baby and I just want to enjoy her. Why can't I just do that???
Re: To be a mum is all I ever wanted!
Things will get better, you will enjoy your baby - sometimes it's hard to see that when you are going through things.
(Internet/across the big blue ocean hug) it'll get better darling!
Look into talking with a professional
Your outsides can reflect what's inside of you and vice versa. So cleaning, while draining, can be cathartic.
Also, you didn't say how old your daughter was but I'm guessing young enough to still need your care, and you have a toddler. That alone is tiring. And, pregnancy alone is also tiring. All of that plus pregnancy hormones can of course bring the best of us to our knees with fatigue or fear.
You will get through this! Nobody is happy all of the time. You set your sights on something, achieve it, but you don't get everlasting happiness. You go back down to a base level happiness, and the cycle repeats.
I did "Mindfulness Meditation" and it helped soooooo much. However, now that I'm so friggin' pregnant, I can't get comfortable enough to get through it! So maybe try it at bedtime?
Hang in there.