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January 2016 Moms
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To be a mum is all I ever wanted!

jspraagjspraag member
in January 2016 Moms
All I wanted to do since I was really young was to be a mum. I wanted to get married to the love of my life and make beautiful babies with him. I found my husband when I was 15 and we've been together 14 years now. So when we decided it was time to have a baby I was so excited. I was finally going to be a mummy. Then our daughter was born and I got post natal depression. I got over that eventually and wanted another baby. We had our son and I got it again but it kicked in later. My son is now 2 and a half and I am 6 months pregnant. I am now starting to get so emotional I can't pull myself together enough to even do the dish or make me bed. This morning I am trying over a new tshirt I bought. I took the tag off and made a miniature (and I mean tiny) hole in the fabric near the neck at the back and I burst into tears!!

If this is all I wanted for my life, to be a mum and have a big happy family, then why I'd my body doing this to me????? This is our last baby and I just want to enjoy her. Why can't I just do that???
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Re: To be a mum is all I ever wanted!

  • carlyhammondcarlyhammond member
    Maybe you should talk to a therepist? Just a suggestion :)
    Things will get better, you will enjoy your baby - sometimes it's hard to see that when you are going through things.
    (Internet/across the big blue ocean hug) it'll get better darling!
    Look into talking with a professional :)
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  • ChrissyD1203ChrissyD1203 member
    Agree with PP. Your emotions sound very normal. A professional can help you feel better sooner (even if it doesn't seem like that is possible, it is).
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  • usernametaken1usernametaken1 member
    Try cleaning for just ten minutes, then take a twenty minute break. Repeat as necessary. Try it on something small, like the bathroom counter. Even if you don't "feel" like doing it. Make yourself. It's only ten minutes. You can handle pretty much anything for ten minutes.

    Your outsides can reflect what's inside of you and vice versa. So cleaning, while draining, can be cathartic.

    Also, you didn't say how old your daughter was but I'm guessing young enough to still need your care, and you have a toddler. That alone is tiring. And, pregnancy alone is also tiring. All of that plus pregnancy hormones can of course bring the best of us to our knees with fatigue or fear.

    You will get through this! Nobody is happy all of the time. You set your sights on something, achieve it, but you don't get everlasting happiness. You go back down to a base level happiness, and the cycle repeats.

    I did "Mindfulness Meditation" and it helped soooooo much. However, now that I'm so friggin' pregnant, I can't get comfortable enough to get through it! So maybe try it at bedtime?

    Hang in there.
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  • jencook25jencook25 member
    Hang in there! Talk to your doctor. Today. Do it! And talk to your partner, about it allll.. Good and bad, wether you feel he is going to think you're crazy or not. What your feeling is definately not 'normal' (read:you shouldnt have to put up with it) but having said that it is very, very, very common!! My sister had terrible pre and post natal depression, she is and still was one of the strongest, most admirable woman I know! Please speak to your doctor, have a look into pre/post natal support groups in your area, reach for support any way you can. I haven't been there, and I'm sure I have no idea what it feels like, but Ive been close to women who have and they've all said that these are all their first huge steps towards better mental health! Hugs xoxo
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