Did your parents tell people about the pregnancy?

MistKeeper · October 2015

So this is our first pregnancy, and our parents have been not so subtly hinting about grandkids for years. I've decided to definitely wait until the heartbeat to tell both sets of parents; however, I'm not ready for extended family to know yet. I worry that if I tell our parents though, they'll be excited and it will end up on the internet and with everyone knowing. Does anyone have the same problem?

goldie987 · October 2015

It depends on your parents. We made it very clear to the people we told that we haven't told anyone else yet and plan to keep it that way and haven't had any problems yet. If your parents have done something to lose your trust before, then I too would be hesitant but otherwise, I think a reminder that you are waiting until the pregnancy is more secure should be sufficient.

Eta - the people we told have all experienced at least one first tri miscarriage so they understand why we are waiting, and when we told them we reminded them that it's still early and there's still a chance something will go wrong. Having that aspect really helps to ensure that they won't say anything.

GinnyJ2012 · October 2015

We told our family already with this one, our third, and said they can tell extended family and a few close friends. No one is allowed to put anything on the internet until we do. I don't usually post a FB announcement until after 20 weeks. No one has broken this request the last two times so I don't see it happening this time around either.

Good luck

Kballew10 · October 2015

When my sister told them at 7 weeks, they kept the secret until she announced it at 12 weeks to the entire family, so I think that we will be okay with telling them after the first u/s. I agree with PPs that you have to make it very clear to anybody that you tell what the "rules" are, but if they have never done anything like that before, I see no reason to assume that they won't be able to keep a secret for a few weeks.

NicknShan · October 2015

We requested that our parents do not tell anyone. We just told them out right. We told them our plan of when we plan to tell the extended family which won't be until Thanksgiving. We also said absolutely nothing on Facebook. I think as long as you are clear, hopefully your parents can respect that.

ecolton01 · October 2015

I told my mom and sister and they both know 100% that they cannot tell anyone until I do in case something doesn't go as planned . ( they have both had multiple looses and fully understand ) however there is no way I'm telling my mil until I tell everyone because I already know the entire world will also know as soon as she finds out . She loves to talk

chloe97 · October 2015

MistKeeper said:
So this is our first pregnancy, and our parents have been not so subtly hinting about grandkids for years. I've decided to definitely wait until the heartbeat to tell both sets of parents; however, I'm not ready for extended family to know yet. I worry that if I tell our parents though, they'll be excited and it will end up on the internet and with everyone knowing. Does anyone have the same problem?

Yes!!! My MIL totally hinted about my proposal coming on FB the day before H proposed! He was livid when I finally told him. Not only that, but I heard about every detail of SILs bf's sister's mc at 6 weeks. Not information I need the world to know if God forbid it happens to us. I love them and we are excited to tell them, but I want to make perfectly clear that they are not to tell a soul. It's mine and H's news to share.

I'm thinking about threatening them with not being able to hold the baby for 2 months if the tell. That should scare them just enough. Ha!

DeePaddy24 · October 2015

My parents know, & though they've said its hard not to share their excitement, I know they won't.
DH's parents are another story. We want to tell them, but I really can't trust my MIL not to go telling everyone. I know they'll be excited, but I want them to respect the fact that this is our secret to share. It makes me really nervous, & I keep wanting to put off telling them because I want to limit the time they have to keep it a secret. It's tough.

CopperLane · October 2015

Both our parents know. They also know how hard it was for us to get pregnant. I know my mom will keep the secret. MIL says she can't and keeps pushing us to tell everyone. We aren't telling anyone else until Christmas because this is our first, it was a hard journey, and we want a damn special announcement. We told her why we are waiting and how heartbroken we'd be if she spilled the beans. We told her to put herself in our shoes and think of how she'd feel if someone else told everyone. I think she got it, but is still pushing us to reveal earlier.

No one in her family struggled to get pregnant, not even her. They were all very insensitive toward our IF and treated it like it was my fault. So I won't be surprised if she cracks and tells everyone.

FutureMrsCAF · October 2015

My parents are awesome and haven't told a soul. My MIL told me yesterday that she ran into someone we went to high school with yesterday at Kohl's and "told him you guys are expecting #2, I hope that's ok," and continued with her story. Wtf I haven't even told my grandfather yet!

alsbaldwin · October 2015

They aren't being told until Christmas. We'll tell them a day or two before we announce it everywhere. Last time my parents told FB before we could. And when DS was born, DH's uncle shared birth and newborn pictures on FB before we could. >:P No one is knowing until we're ready to tell everyone.... Old people and the internet, I tell ya.

june2016baby · October 2015

My MIL thinks she won't tell people, but she'll end up putting us on the prayer list at church. In her mind, this is not telling! This has happened to us before, so we will NOT be telling her!

I'm not going to tell anyone beyond my mom (because I need her help babysitting my other kids during doctor's appointments,) and my neighbor (because I need to tell her why I can't do high-intensity work-outs at the gym with her anymore,) until I can't possibly hold off anymore.

I started to show last pregnancy (my third child,) at 12 weeks. And I'll be 12 weeks at Thanksgiving. But I have an outfit that I think I can wear that will disguise my belly. I would love to be able to put off telling until Christmas time, when I'll be 17 weeks.

vanessa11411 · October 2015

My mom is a blabbermouth so we're not telling her until we tell everyone else we want to let know about it. She'll be the last to know.

TwoBadMice · October 2015

I told my parents and very close friends because if I do end up having another MC I would reach out to them for comfort anyways. I told them early with my last pregnancy in Feb that ended in a MC at 9 weeks and I felt glad that I didn't have to explain that I had been pregnant I just had to say 3 words and they understood. I did not tell my grandparents this time around though.

HighFive16 · October 2015

When I had DD we told my parents and told them NOT to tell anyone because we wanted to wait until 12 weeks. My mom told my aunt because "she was having a bad day and needed cheering up"! FFS! This time I will be 10 weeks when I tell her because they are visiting for Thanksgiving. She can tell who she wants after that.

TwoBadMice · October 2015

I just watched the bump video for 6 weeks and it says to hold out on telling. I don't know why this bothers me but I don't think I should have to keep my pregnancy or my loss a secret. Either way I'm going to need support right? I mean I get not telling work because even though it's illegal I'm still scared I'd get passed over for promotion. Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way.

rent6 · October 2015

With my first pregnancy we told our parents right away. His parents told the rest of their family same day even though we said we were waiting until 12 weeks to announce. They have zero respect for us so this time I might let his family find out on fb with the rest of the people I don't care about. As for my parents, my mom has a big mouth so I'm not telling her for a few more weeks. I'll probably tell my dad soon though. He'll keep his mouth shut because I know for a fact he didn't want another grandchild and he's disappointed.

fishwife799 · October 2015

I think it depends on your parents. Both our sets have kept it a secret and long as we've asked them to every time.

cattlebride · October 2015

TwoBadMice said:
I just watched the bump video for 6 weeks and it says to hold out on telling. I don't know why this bothers me but I don't think I should have to keep my pregnancy or my loss a secret. Either way I'm going to need support right? I mean I get not telling work because even though it's illegal I'm still scared I'd get passed over for promotion. Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way.

Not at all I think many women feel like you do. Sometimes suffering in silence is worse.

Op we told our parents but they will honor our wishes to let us tell the world we are expecting.

agillespie15 · October 2015

Yes, DH mother told his brother who lives out of town! That was our news and I thought it was RUDE, although DH didn't think much about it

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