young moms?

proudmamatobe · October 2015

I'm a very young mother to be, and I absolutely do not regret getting pregnant but all these comments from people who think I dont have what it takes keeps getting to me. Did anyone else go through this? ):

cMichelle0423 · October 2015

I was 21 when I had my first. I got a few comments mainly from strangers. I would usually respond with "well statistically that means I'll have more time with my children and grandchildren than a woman who waits until she's like 30+ to have kids". Lol it's true and it usually shuts people up because they don't know how to respond.

heatherlemieux · October 2015

You've just got to allow those comments to pass by without giving them your time. I am a firm believer that it's character maturity and patience and especially Jesus that make a good parent and those things are cultivated even further through parenting itself. I was 16 when I had my first ( I do not condone that situation ) and you can imagine the comments and stigma that went along with it. I am 22 now having my second married own a home and am stable. Which isn't necessarily the case for some 30 year olds. My 6 year old excels in school, plays sports and is a social butterfly (no thanks to me) You'll be as wonderful of a parent as you set out to be, no one is a perfect parent and everyone has strong opinions on one side of the fence or another when it comes to any avenue of parenting be it age, spanking, food etc.Keep your chin up and love your baby and grow them into a respectable well bahaved child and then see what they have to say about how equipped you are.

eve94 · October 2015

I'm 21 and I'm having my third child I'm excited I have people talking about me and how I'm to young or can't handle it which is crap don't let it get to you it's just emotions trust me I cried when I saw someone said it about me but hubby made me feel better today is our six year anniversary from first day he asked me to be his girlfriend when I was 15years old. Iv had hard life and he makes it better I feel loved with all our obstacles in life a third baby will be a new beginning and trust when babies are born it's another person to love your family is what matters most as you get older bc in end people around you don't understand how a baby can make or break you but it's all up to you to be who you want to be

Knottie19458446 · October 2015

I thought that 23 was really young to have babies (which is how old I'll be) but we got way more negative comments about getting married a year ago because of our age then we have about the baby

Nymommy2015 · October 2015

proudmamatobe said:
Im 17 and she's due in February. At first when I found out I was scared but then I realized I had to grow up and get over myself because this is my child and I had to make a decision if I could provide for her and give her a loving home where she's safe. And after constantly thinking about it, I realized I could. Yes it'd be hard, I wake up every morning at 4 in the morning and go to bed around 10 because I need to go to school so I can graduate this year so Ill be able to go college and get a career with a salary so she can live the life she deserves. And i go to work 30 hours a week on top of it to make sure I can save money and buy healthy food to eat so she can get the nutrients she needs from me. I dont care about how hard it will be for me, as long as every ounce of sweat was going towards giving her a healthy, safe, loving, and happy life. And I know that I can, and I wish others realized that

I love, love your post. Your situation hits so close to home for me. I too was 17 when I had my son. I'm now 25 and having another little boy! It's true, a lot of teen parents do do things such as drop out of school etc. but there are also some really freaking great teen moms and dads out there. I guess I just wanted to applaud you (as someone who's been where you are). You're stepping up and doing the best that you can for you and your child. You will get a lot of people who tell you "you won't finish school, you won't go to college, you're never going to be able to provide for this child" (I know I certainly did). What's amazing is you're proving them wrong. Congrats momma, you're gonna be great

proudmamatobe · October 2015

Im 17 and she's due in February. At first when I found out I was scared but then I realized I had to grow up and get over myself because this is my child and I had to make a decision if I could provide for her and give her a loving home where she's safe. And after constantly thinking about it, I realized I could. Yes it'd be hard, I wake up every morning at 4 in the morning and go to bed around 10 because I need to go to school so I can graduate this year so Ill be able to go college and get a career with a salary so she can live the life she deserves. And i go to work 30 hours a week on top of it to make sure I can save money and buy healthy food to eat so she can get the nutrients she needs from me. I dont care about how hard it will be for me, as long as every ounce of sweat was going towards giving her a healthy, safe, loving, and happy life. And I know that I can, and I wish others realized that

thisusername · October 2015

I JUST turned 20 this September, my husband and I have been married for over a year and have been super successful in our marriage so far, do strangers know that? No. Our baby wasn't planned, at least not this early. Every single time I'm out in public I hear parents whisper, "don't be like that girl" and comments like that. People stare and people say "oh I'm so sorry" sorry for for what? That my husband and I will soon have a physical embodiment of our love? I get so irritated. Especially the "don't be like that girl" comments. Uh, I've been in the military since I was 17, I'll be getting my bachelors degree with a total school time of 2 and 1/2 years, I have 3 jobs, my husband is also military, and I have a decent personality. I'm not cruel like those people! It is definitely annoying but you just have to remember that you are above those comments and so much will change for you. Your love will become filled with love while theirs sounds like it's already filled with judgement!

SoSirius · October 2015

heatherlemieux said:
I am a firm believer that it's character maturity and patience and especially Jesus that make a good parent and those things are cultivated even further through parenting itself.

Especially Jesus? Damn I'm screwed.

( I'm just joking. I'm assuming you didn't mean it that way.

Honestly, having a baby is HARD. It's life changing and you'll be questioning yourself and all of your parenting decisions for a long time. That's with a stable relationship, a support system, and being 25+. Those feelings are normal. You seem like you have your priorities straight. Just be humble and very open to support where you can get it. You don't have to do it alone and there is no prize for proving to everyone that you can. You can do this.

thisusername · October 2015

I feel like there is no right age to have a baby, people will always say you're either too young or too old. All that matters is that you will love your baby and your baby will love you!

camusoh2011 · October 2015

I'm 25 and we already have three kids. We decided to try for one more and got two this time around. I'm stoked, but I still get looks and comments just like you ladies. Apparently being on the younger side with kids already and adding to your family is insane. I say that from the sound of it you have things figured out pretty well. You do what works for you and your child and let the haters hate.

bbax44 · October 2015

I'll be 22 in about a month, SO is 23.. we actually didn't get as many negative comments towards us as I figured...I'm sure it's a different story behind our backs though. I will be graduated by the time baby girl is 1. He has a stable job, we both have cars and we live in a duplex for now. Once I graduate and get a stable job we will be much better off! Struggle for a little but in the end everything will be worth it!

tooba22 · October 2015

I'm 28 and a FTM and I have received comments like "wow your old by the time I was your age I was done having kids" and "I bet it's hard since you are so old" first off I don't feel "old" I feel ready to have children. Then there are people like my MIL who will throw out bullshit comments about having concerns about my DH and I having children. I had to tell my MIL to mind her own damn business because we now own our home, have plenty of savings, I am almost through college with limited debt, and I have been with DH since I was 17 years old!! She is treating us like we live in our cars and want to have this baby... Ridiculous. I guess what I am getting at is that no matter what type of situation you are in good or bad people judge you and make rude remarks. Luckily, it's not up to them when you have children or frankly anything you do with your body. Also, I agree with the statement somebody made about being younger I will have more time with my children and grandchildren I think if it had been up to me I would have started younger then 28. I hope each and everyone of you has an amazing pregnancy! I know my number one priority is growing this baby.

egraves4 · October 2015

I'm 21, will be 22 when LO is born. My SO is already 22. Same with PP, I honestly haven't gotten any negative comments. A lot of people have said that him and I are going to be great parents. I'll be graduating in December, him in May, and we're a very strong couple, and I think a lot of people saw that before this happened. When I first found I was pretty shocked and scared, but I am honestly so happy now. Part of me always wanted to have a family young.

winterwolf4 · October 2015

I am 19 and my dh is 25. We haven't gotten any negative comments about having a baby. But we got a ton about getting married so young. In my family the women normally have kids in their late teens and early twenties so to us it wasn't a big deal.

stephaniearthurs · October 2015

I am not in your shoes, but an interesting thought. As a young parent you will have sooo much more energy to really enjoy your child's life! Also, when you become an empty nester, you will be so much younger then me (FTM at 31). And you can live this whole other life and still really enjoy that too! AND have energy for your grand kids!

Is it ideal to have a child young? Not always, but it's not the end of your life by any means!

SaraiAmor · October 2015

I'm 19 and I'll turn 20 a month after the due date. My family has been pretty supportive as my grandmother had her first at the same age as me. She dropped out of high school and never went to college but she has worked her ass off her entire life and raised her 5 kids basically on her own in a time that women didn't really work on top of it. So my family can't bitch at me much.
My boyfriends family on the other hand is very unsupportive. His mother had him at 16 and did very well for him so you would figure she would be a way bigger support than she is but oh no cuz we're not doing what she believes we should be in order to take care of our child. It's been a bit of a struggle cuz every time I see her I wanna tell her off and just be sooo rude but anything she's saying she isn't saying to me. She talks a lot of shit behind my back to everyone in her family and sort of to my boyfriend. If she would actually say something to me I wud probably actually say something but for now it's easier and less stressful for everyone for me to keep my mouth shut around her. And for the most part I just figure I'm gonna raise my kid the way that I feel is fit and she can talk all the shit she wants cuz it's not her kid.

weshun1611 · October 2015

I'm 17 and pregnant with twin girls. I'm already graduated from high school but I'm still very young. I understand that I am a lot younger than most people consider the "correct" age to have children. I was very remorseful the first couple of months just because it's not what I had planned for my life. I was accepted to my dream college and was supposed to leave last August. But, I really can't imagine my life any other way at this point. I've grown up so much since I found out I was pregnant I almost forget I'm so young sometimes. Paying bills, filing my girls under my insurance, and all of that good stuff then realizing most people my age are sitting in class. I wouldn't change a thing.

thisusername · October 2015

weshun1611 said:
I'm 17 and pregnant with twin girls. I'm already graduated from high school but I'm still very young. I understand that I am a lot younger than most people consider the "correct" age to have children. I was very remorseful the first couple of months just because it's not what I had planned for my life. I was accepted to my dream college and was supposed to leave last August. But, I really can't imagine my life any other way at this point. I've grown up so much since I found out I was pregnant I almost forget I'm so young sometimes. Paying bills, filing my girls under my insurance, and all of that good stuff then realizing most people my age are sitting in class. I wouldn't change a thing.

I left for the military at 17, I know it isn't having babies but I watched other people go to college and start their lives and what everyone said I should be doing too. It's just not how it is for some people. I got married at 18, people still tell me it won't last. Pregnant at 19, will be birthing at 20. People will judge you and tell you that you are wrong your entire life. When your girls go to college and cure cancer they'll still look back at you and say, "you shouldn't have been pregnant so young". It's horrible but true. Congratulations to you though, it's a hard adjustment I'm sure, but it sounds like you're doing a phenomenal job already.

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