why can't I get excited about having a baby? — The Bump
May 2016 Moms

why can't I get excited about having a baby?

Hi! I'm 24 years old and 9 weeks Well to say that I'm scared is an understatement. I found out I was pregnant at 5 weeks. My husband and I have been together since 2007 and we have been married since 2010. He's my highschool sweetheart. :) He is very supportive and is doing everything to keep me conformable. He is absolutely excited and has already told everyone despite me wanting to wait. everytime someone asks me about or starts talking about the baby I get really embarrassed and kinda frustrated and don't want to talk about it. I did want to have kids this just took me by surprise. I haven't had any morning sickness just exhausted and light headed a lot and very hormonal. Anyways, I was wondering if anyone else is experiencing this and if anyone has any tips for me to start being excited like everyone else is.

Re: why can't I get excited about having a baby?

  • Give yourself time. When I found out I was pregnant with my first I had similar feelings, but there are lots of mood swings and hormonal changes going on, and you've just begun your journey. With hearing the first heartbeat, feeling the first little kick and then hiccups, you will learn that life is growing inside and you will savour it and when 9 months rolls around you'll be ready to meet your little one. Just take one day at a time and count your blessings you have someone that loves you by your side.
  • It was so hard for me to feel excited when I just felt like crap all the time, and all I could think about was how I didn't want to go through with it. I didn't feel excited until my bad symptoms subsided and I got to see the baby on an ultrasound. It's even more powerful when you can see they have arms and legs and move around, rather than just being a little blob, ha. A week ago I didn't want this baby and now I'm so in love with the little booger.

    Give it time. It's completely normal to feel this way, and many women don't feel connected or excited about their babies until long after it is born. Nothing wrong with that or with not wanting to talk about it with other people. I think we also have it extra rough, since we have all these stupid hormones that turn us into a completely different person. Hang in there :)
    amscapeKnottie1438468013
  • Have you been to an US yet? I was kinda the same way when I first found out (surprisingly, because this was a planned pregnancy). But ever since I saw my LO's heartbeat on that screen. It was pretty much the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. :x
    dcheard
  • It was so hard for me to feel excited when I just felt like crap all the time, and all I could think about was how I didn't want to go through with it. I didn't feel excited until my bad symptoms subsided and I got to see the baby on an ultrasound. It's even more powerful when you can see they have arms and legs and move around, rather than just being a little blob, ha. A week ago I didn't want this baby and now I'm so in love with the little booger. Give it time. It's completely normal to feel this way, and many women don't feel connected or excited about their babies until long after it is born. Nothing wrong with that or with not wanting to talk about it with other people. I think we also have it extra rough, since we have all these stupid hormones that turn us into a completely different person. Hang in there :)

    This is right on. I am just starting to get excited now since I'm feeling a bit better. It's a huge life-changing event especially with your first. Give it some time to sink in. Things seem to change once it becomes a "baby" instead of an abstract idea.
    Knottie1438468013
  • Same here...I've been pretty sick so it's hard to get excited. But also, even though I've seen the heartbeat, it doesn't really feel REAL yet. I think things will change once the baby starts moving.
    flurtyblues
  • I feel ya! This is my second and I'm just terrified of having two. I feel like I've barely got my act together right now with one. I feel like crap all the time. I'm so tired. Work sucks. Toddlers are hard. Life it just hard right now and having another baby is just totally freaking me out. 

    Let me tell you though. The moment the doctor lays YOUR baby on your chest for the first time is by far the best experience in my entire life. I can't wait for that part of baby #2. :) 

    You'll get there. I promise. 
    Me: 32 DH: 35
    Married 12/7/07
    DD: Born 1/2/14 
    Baby #2 EDD 5/6/16



  • https://www.yahoo.com/health/prenatal-depression-the-pregnancy-condition-no-144428879.html

    This article popped up when I went to check my email. It is about prenatal depression, but some of the feelings described could occur in any pregnancy. Just thought it was interesting and might help those who have really severe or significant symptoms.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



    BabyFruit Ticker
    Luxanidshannah
  • I definitely found myself wishing that I wasn't pregnant (especially when I'm hunched over the toilet or unable to enjoy my favorite foods) even though my husband and I were TTC. Also, the first person I told (after my husband) kind of had a lackluster response to it so in turn I think that bled onto me and how I was feeling about my pregnancy. I was also very nervous about miscarriages and I was afraid to get too attached just in case something bad did happen.

    But after I had my ultrasound last night and heard the heartbeat for the first time I was a lot more excited. 

    image

    But I might change my mind when I get the upset stomach again... 

    image
  • YES, I knew I wanted kids, and just to keep risks low wanted to do it right after I got married (things feel sunnier on this side of 30 - where I'll be in June - in terms of risks/statistics, even though I know it's totally fine for long after that too). So I was very goal-oriented and focused on getting pregnant, and now I'm like, shit... I'm going to have a kid for the rest of my life. I know there's a lot of good stuff to look forward to, but totally with you right now - when you just feel sick all the time, haven't seen the baby yet, and have a lot of unknowns around this whole situation, it's easy to feel pretty not-excited about all of this (at least for me).

  • My response to the positive test surprised me. I didn't expect to be anything except excited! Instead I felt really unsure & immediately could only think of things I was losing or giving up, even though we want this baby. After a week to digest the news that changed & got more exciting than scary. However, I'm just so tired all the time that I often don't feel anything at all. Food & sleep-or not food, depending on the moment- are all I think about, aside from my job (I teach at risk teens)! I can't even get into researching baby gear or names. I'm just tired! I know it will improve in a few more weeks but damn, the fatigue has drained a lot of the excitement out of the first trimester so far.
  • Yes, my first one was at 6 weeks. The doctor I went to only let me take a glimps of the screen.
  • First off, totally ok that you are not excited: if it's because you are anxious or depressed, the resources that @laurenmdrn16 linked to should help.

    But even if not, it's totally normal not to be all gung-ho baby. It's a brutal life change after nine months of hard work and discomfort where you are not in control of your own body. The perks of parenthood mitigate all that somewhat, usually, but you're reacting in a totally normal way to a life-changing event!

    And it sounds like you're already happy, so change might be even scarier.

    I must say, it doesn't help that your husband seems to not respect your reticence--try talking to him about it again, and maybe you'll have another ally instead of feeling like there is something wrong with you.

    But feel free to tell people who want to chat you up about baby that you'd rather not talk about it. If they press you, say it's superstition and you don't want to jinx anything. Or that you are reluctant to count your chickens before they hatch, in a manner of speaking:)
  • I feel ya! This is my second and I'm just terrified of having two. I feel like I've barely got my act together right now with one. I feel like crap all the time. I'm so tired. Work sucks. Toddlers are hard. Life it just hard right now and having another baby is just totally freaking me out. 


    Let me tell you though. The moment the doctor lays YOUR baby on your chest for the first time is by far the best experience in my entire life. I can't wait for that part of baby #2. :) 

    You'll get there. I promise. 
    This is so me right now! Some days I'm excited and some days I panick. And to top it off work is so slow and I really don't feel like being there. I know once everything starts coming together like ultrasounds and baby bump I'll be more excited. It's hard when you just feel fat. Lol
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards