Breastfeeding disappointment (aw/rant)

mom4liak · October 2015

My DD2 made an early entrance on October 14 (EDD 11/09). Overall her health has been good however she has immature nursing reflexes and disorganized suck/swallow/breathe rhythm while eating. We have been working with the lactation nurses and even OT and speech (so many specialist and only 1 week old). I have been feeding her expressed milk with a syringe. This had been a tedious and time consuming endeavor but of course we would do anything for her. Today she had another weight check and she is down a pound. We have also realized that she lacks the hunger trigger and would literally never cry for food and would starve herself if we were not on the ball with timed feedings. She will be getting a NG tube on Friday if she looses anymore weight.
Today the reports from the pediatrician, OT, speech, and lactation nurses were presented to us and the collective determination is that Hazel can no longer nurse or attempt to nurse. She is burning more calories eating than she is consuming during that feeding. She also has to start a high caloric formula if our insurance will not cover a nutritional booster to add to my expressed breast milk.
I am so disappointed that I can breastfeed. I am still pumping and storing my milk with the hopes that she can eat it soon but it doesn't seem that is going to happen.
With her being a premie I was really looking forward to giving her further protection through my antibodies.
Sorry for the long AW/rant. I am just so disappointed!

VexedMommy · October 2015

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. However, the pumping may work and you can always do a combo of breast and formula once she's gained a bit of weight with the high calorie formula. *hugs*

MercyC1130 · October 2015

I'm really sorry you're dealing with this.. You sound like an amazing mom though with all you are already providing for your girl. Although it's not preferable for you, in the long run she'll be stronger for the change. Like @vexedmommy said too, maybe she'll be able to do both soon.
I know you probably already know all this and that doesn't help with how you feel right now, but it sounds like you're doing the best you can do right now.

Good luck and thoughts to you and LO.

willashbaby · October 2015

You are doing everything you can, they will find the right combination soon. Best of luck with your little love!

flas · October 2015

I feel your pain, but you are definitely doing what is best. Once she starts gaining and is a little older you might be able to get that breastmilk into her. I had to do a feeding tube with my 2nd as well as a super concentrated formula. It was tough going but I hung in there knowing I was doing everything possible.

natalknitter15 · October 2015

I can't offer any advice, but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for the disappointment you're feeling. It sounds like you are already a great Mom. Hazel is lucky to have you. Hang in there!

AMG901 · October 2015

My son was the same when he was born, he was put on the NG tube and fed my milk through it. I continued to double express and freeze it, fridge it, and feed through the tube. Only 3 days into him being on the tube I said I wanted to introduce the bottle. I was advised against it as they said he may never latch on to my breast if I did that. However, I just knew that when he was ready he would latch on and I knew by putting him on the bottle we would get him home quicker. The first two feeds he took some of my milk from the bottle (Nuk bottle) and we finished the rest of the feed through the NG tube. The next feeds after that he took it all from the bottle. We had a weight loss but was in the normal percentage so got the green light to go home after a week in NICU. After being at home we carried on feeding him expressed breast milk through the bottle and in between feeds practised him latching on which he ended up doing perfectly. We were then able to swap bottle feeds with breast as he latches on and feeds so well. We're lucky as I'm now breast feeding but my partner is still able to do some feeds when he's around with the bottle. I'm not going to lie, it was hard, I got mastitis which wasn't nice but now, at 3 weeks, Jude is 6lbs 1oz and his birth weight was 4lbs 12oz. Hang in there mama, it is worth all the perceivence and although the initial feeding may not be as you planned, you and your baby will find something that works for you both as they get stronger every day x

jpierre91 · October 2015

Sorry you are going through this. Hope it gets better soon

JLW0504 · October 2015

I"m so sorry you and your LO are going through all of this.

Maddie is having issues latching as well. With her being a preemie, she doesn't have it down just yet either. She does beautifully with the bottle and luckily got to avoid the feeding tube. The nurses all say she has a tongue tie and an upper lip tie, so once the pedi confirms, we're getting them clipped so that, hopefully, latching will be easier for her. I'm pumping for her now and supplement with Similac Neosure for the calories. She's down to 5lb 14.2oz from 6lb 6.4oz but she gets to come home tomorrow as she's within normal ranges.

These kids are resilient, so I'm sure your LO will figure it all out. Good luck with everything Momma, you got this!

grapesoda1111 · October 2015

So sorry mama

I hope things turn around for baby.

bellie1223 · October 2015

Sorry you're feeling this way, but it sounds like obviously you're doing everything you need to do to keep your daughter healthy. Also, if it makes you feel any better, every day that you have already fed her expressed breastmilk is one more day that she has gotten your antibodies, etc, so she at least received some of the "good stuff;" I say this as someone who fully supports formula feeding/breastfeeding/whatever works for mom and baby, it was just something my doc said to me the other day--that if you can't breastfeed but wanted to, rest assured even a little bit is contributing to a healthy immune system. Hopefully that makes sense.

carney10 · October 2015

I went through this my first baby. He was 3 weeks early anddidn't have the reflexes. My supply never really established itself. I supplemented with the tube at the breast for two months. I set alarms day and night to make sure he ate enough. He still want gaining weight quick enough. I was so disappointed that I couldn't breastfeed, but when I finally switched to formula it made my life so much less stressful. I was still disappointed, but at least I know I tried everything!

mom4liak · October 2015

Thanks everyone. Hormones and exhaustion make it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel sometimes and it really is nice to be reminded that I am not the first or last mama going through this unpredictable rollercoaster of mommyhood!
Hazel is my 5th LO but no two pregnancies or babies are the same and each can make you feel like a FTM all over again. (Especially when it's been almost 9 years since my last LO was born!)

jschmitt82 · October 2015

Your LO will get the hang of it just keep the faith! I am a NICU nurse and we see this all the time, but I am surprised that they aren't trying to get your LO to bottle feed to work on those sucking muscles and work up to trying to latch again. If I were you and you are okay with trying the bottle than push a little harder and just make sure OT is there when you do it. OT is great with having little tricks and tips to help pace while bottle feeding so that there is no choking or spit ups. Good luck mama and hang in there; little Hazel will come along at her own pace.

vomitrosa · October 2015

I remember how hard that is, my daughter was only 2 weeks early and she had a lot of difficulty latching...we tried the syringe method and she was losing weight so they advised she needed to be supplemented with formula after about 10 days. Once she started taking the nipple from a bottle it seemed like their was no going back, I could never successfully get her to take breast after that.

I pumped for 2 months and that was supplemented with formula. It was really hard on me, I felt really discouraged and was so emotional because it was so important for me to feed my daughter by breast instead of bottle...

I look back now and she is a happy healthy energetic 6 year old, she didn't have any issues by not being breastfed. This time I am hoping we do not run into those same issues, try not be discouraged...it's all about going with the flow and doing what's going to be best for you and baby girl.

Cook3133 · October 2015

Sounds rough

. We had nursing issues with my 3rd, by the time it was realized my milk production drastically dropped and I wasn't able to get it back. I cried a few times knowing I couldn't provide BM for him.

I thinks it's awesome if you can still get milk with pumping!! It's so cool that when he's ready you'll have a ton of mommy milk to give him! If a baby can go from boob to bottle I don't see why they can't go from bottle to boob.

Breastfeeding disappointment (aw/rant)

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