Help! How to explain...?

NellyRoche · October 2015

Hi everyone

So, I'm 19 years old, I'm in my second trimester and this is my first pregnancy.

I am going to be a single mum, but that's okay because I have my family behind me and I'll love my baby no matter what.

My problem is explaining my pregnancy to my father and brothers. My father has only had to experience 4 pregnancies with my birth mother and he says she was really good and didn't complain.

I have a breezy pregnancy so far. I haven't thrown up. I haven't been sick other then fainty when I stand up to long. But now that I'm in my second trimester, I have been getting stomach pains, kinda like really bad period pain and I HATED my period because of the pain.. I try and explain that to my family but they respond, oh you mustn't be healthy enough because healthy people don't get the pain, or, 90% of the time it's all in your head and the other percent is a health problem.

??? I'M HEALTHY AF! I eat well. I'm 100% and more with all my doctors tests etc.

Please help me explain this to my family that doesn't understand the rest of the NORMAL world.

lalala2004 · October 2015

I think the easier solution would be to not talk to them about it, honestly....

Complain on your BMB or to someone else in your life who will be more understanding.

kynbar5 · October 2015

Men in general, are either going to be super understanding or not at all. They don't have periods or babies so really there's no way for them to understand. I agree with the pp. Maybe just vent on your bmb or a close friend. Good luck

Sarcasm101 · October 2015

I just wouldn't tell my family about every ache and pain. Vent to someone else who is a bit more receptive.

Parker16772 · October 2015

kynbar5 said:

Men in general, are either going to be super understanding or not at all. They don't have periods or babies so really there's no way for them to understand. I agree with the pp. Maybe just vent on your bmb or a close friend. Good luck

This! Men are clueless. Your BMB is a good place to vent with women who are going through the exact things as you.

mcklough · October 2015

NellyRoche said:

Hi everyone So, I'm 19 years old, I'm in my second trimester and this is my first pregnancy. I am going to be a single mum, but that's okay because I have my family behind me and I'll love my baby no matter what. My problem is explaining my pregnancy to my father and brothers. My father has only had to experience 4 pregnancies with my birth mother and he says she was really good and didn't complain. I have a breezy pregnancy so far. I haven't thrown up. I haven't been sick other then fainty when I stand up to long. But now that I'm in my second trimester, I have been getting stomach pains, kinda like really bad period pain and I HATED my period because of the pain.. I try and explain that to my family but they respond, oh you mustn't be healthy enough because healthy people don't get the pain, or, 90% of the time it's all in your head and the other percent is a health problem. ??? I'M HEALTHY AF! I eat well. I'm 100% and more with all my doctors tests etc. Please help me explain this to my family that doesn't understand the rest of the NORMAL world.

sometimes I like to say/think to myself yea I'm just like me, but with hormones raging, a human inside of me and a uterus the size of a cantaloupe. If things weren't changing or sometimes uncomfortable THAT would be strange. Your mom may have just talked about it to other people instead of him. Hell, even most people here are suggesting not talking to him about it so how would he really know what she was going through,

Something I try to remember about men is that they like to fix things. If they hear "my back hurts" they don't tend to think oh dear- that's so unfortunate but also somewhat expected. They tend to think more along the lines of "she's in pain and she wants my solution on how to fix it". I think that's one of the reason men can be insensitive about pregnancy- it freaks them out that there is nothing they can do to fix it. Helping ease the discomfort isn't usually their goal.

this is a total generalization and not meant at all to explain ALL men, but as I was growing up it helped me understand others perspectives. I actually tend to have a similar thought process too this

SparkE82 · October 2015

Men just don't get it. Find a girl friend, or some peeps on your BMB and vent to them.

That's what I have to do, because I love my DH dearly, but he just doesn't get it.....lol.

nlwz123 · October 2015

lalala2004 said:

I think the easier solution would be to not talk to them about it, honestly.... Complain on your BMB or to someone else in your life who will be more understanding.

This. Honestly, you can't expect everyone to understand every symptom you are having, nor do you have to let them know it is happening in the first place. You will have a ton of symptoms as your pregnancy progresses, but you don't have to necessarily let everyone in your family know EVERYTHING that's going on.

kalanieileen · October 2015

If they haven't been through it, they aren't going to relate. My best friend had one of the easiest pregnancies and deliveries. Although she has experienced pregnancy, she cannot relate to MY pregnancy. I think you are wasting your breath in trying to get them to understand, and connect with some women who HAVE gone through what you're going through, so that you may find solace in them. Best of luck

kyraaD · October 2015

personally, i would just explain to them ONCE that cramping during pregnancy is normal because your ligaments & muscles are stretching & adjusting for your growinf baby. if they still cant understand that then that's their problem. just know that it is normal & has nothing to do with you not being healthy, which it seems like you already know anyways! haha. good luck.

tooba22 · October 2015

kynbar5 said:
Men in general, are either going to be super understanding or not at all. They don't have periods or babies so really there's no way for them to understand. I agree with the pp. Maybe just vent on your bmb or a close friend. Good luck

THIS 110%! I would never try talking about my pregnancy symptoms to my dad or brothers... They just don't understand. Your bmb is a perfect place to ask questions,lurk and read up on all topics pregnancy related.

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