Any single moms? — The Bump
May 2016 Moms

Any single moms?

Well, my SO and I broke up this weekend so now I am facing single motherhood. Anyone else in the same boat? Anyone already a single parent? Can anyone tell me it's really not as bad as I think it is?

Re: Any single moms?

  • I'm not in the same boat but I'm so sorry you're going through this! Be strong for your little one!
  • ^WSS! 

    I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with this.  I am sure you are making the best decisions you can for yourself and your LO, but still, it must be hard.  Huge hugs! 

     

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  • I'm sorry that you're dealing with this, especially while pregnant. I don't know from personal experience, but can speak to my mom's if it helps. She and my bio dad divorced when my twin sister and I were just a month old. She moved and continued working as a nurse, night shift, while my grandparents watched us overnight. When we were three, she happened to meet an awesome guy (who I consider to be my dad) and remarried. I believe she would have made it work longer if circumstances had been different though. I know it helped her to be close to family/friends who could help out in a pinch. She was also so overwhelmed and grateful to be a mother once my sister and I were born that it carried her through difficulties. I have so much respect for my mom for everything that she did for us.


    lest12babycakes8214mcvgaldshannah
  • I'm remarried now but I was a single mom with DD. I was basically on my own with her from birth. For me, being in the toxic relationship wasn't healthy for myself or my daughter. Getting out was a burden lifted off my shoulders. It wasn't easy, but we made it work and we ended up being much happier! What helped me through was going to a divorce support group. It was a good outlet to have while working through different emotions. My focus was being the best mother I could be. PM me if you would like to talk. It was a long road, but I can tell you it was the best thing for us and we're much happier now. I'm sorry you are going through this. ((hugs))
    lest12dshannah
  • Like @kbrands7 I can't speak from personal experience, however my mother when she got pregnant with my brother, was dating a man who really never wanted children. Since my mother made the decision to keep my brother, she saw it only right to raise my brother and never asked for a single penny from my brothers dad. She raised him by herself for 5 years until my dad came along and they got married. My dad adopted my brother and finally gave him a father figure. My brothers dad lived 3 blocks from us his entire life, my brother would ride his bike down on Christmas morning and drop off gifts and my brothers grandma is still to this day mine and my sisters third grandma. It was very very difficult on my mom, but I have SO much respect for how she handled such tough times and made the best of everything. She didn't have much help from my grandmother as my grandmother (moms mother) wasn't much of a kid person, and didnt have much help from other family/friends, but she still made it work and has never regretted the way she went about things.

    My husband is in the military, so while I wont necessarily be a single parent, I will be doing it on my own for 8 to 12 months at a time every couple of years, to boot we are moving (literally) across the country in December. All of my family and support is in ca and we are moving to va. My husband is set to deploy in June shortly after the baby is born. It will be very very difficult, but I know I will get through it just fine. Keep your head held high and stay as positive as you can (although I know easier said than done). You will surprise yourself with how strong you are and with how you can make a beautiful life for you and your baby as a single mom.
    H0neyC0mb
  • I have no experience in this whatsoever but I just wanted to let you know that you have support here. Just make sure to keep taking care of yourself and your baby, you got this! 

    Also, although I do not know the circumstances of the break-up (and it may have been for the best, I don't know) but I hope that he plans on staying in your child's life. 
  • I was a single mother with DD1 and it wasn't easy to say the least. It was hard and I cried a lot mostly from being overwhelmed. It was just me and her for 6 years before I got together with my husband. Hopefully you have support from your family and friends and that will make it easier. Plus there are a lot of programs out now that can help with pretty much everything. It's not the end of the world and it will make you a stronger person and mother. You will have to make tough choices but just know that you are not alone and it's not impossible. Sorry you have to go through this!
  • vinerievinerie member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited October 2015
    I don't have experience, but I just wanted to say that you have support here. Be good to yourself (((((((hugs)))))))))
    Me: 38; DH: 41
    DS: Born 5-17-16 

  • Thanks everyone :) Things have been really rough; SO was absolutely wonderful, but did a complete 180 this weekend and became a different person within a matter of hours. I don't know what happened, don't recognize him anymore and my head is still spinning. It's reassuring to know I have support and that I can do this.
  • I am so sorry :( I would document things like this personality change and also speak to a lawyer if child support might become an issue.

  • @TheThornBird I am! Am only 20 aswel, since I told my parter all he has done is be a knob towards me by having no respect and treating me like crap, absolutely sick of it I feel like I'm on my own through this already and I'm only 7 week 2 days, both my best friends have kinda ditched me too xx
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