2nd Trimester
lsquire
member
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Pregnancy depression
lsquire
member
I don't know if what I'm feeling is depression but I'm really sad and lonely. I was really excited about this baby and I am going to be a good mom but I'm no longer feeling excited because I have no one to share it with in my immediate environment. My family lives far away and my fiancé works long hours ...his children (I'm a step mom) don't really care to much about the pregnancy and mostly just want to be around dad when they are here...his family only call him to chat or ask for things but I'm sort of in the background. I've lived in this city for 8 years but don't have significant friendships I can go to in these moments. I feel very withdrawn right now and my birthday is in two days which I'll be spending alone.
He missed the first ultrasound and it's my first pregnancy...I felt the most alone in that moment and since then I've really spiralled into high anxiety and sadness over the "state" of my situation as I see it...so I sit her wondering if I am depressed and can't see all my blessings or if I truly just have reason to be sad...I don't know what to do
I reached out to him today to say "I'm not okay" and he just suggested I call my family back home since he's at work
Any advice
He missed the first ultrasound and it's my first pregnancy...I felt the most alone in that moment and since then I've really spiralled into high anxiety and sadness over the "state" of my situation as I see it...so I sit her wondering if I am depressed and can't see all my blessings or if I truly just have reason to be sad...I don't know what to do
I reached out to him today to say "I'm not okay" and he just suggested I call my family back home since he's at work
Any advice
Re: Pregnancy depression
Married: Oct 20, 2013
BFP 1: Aug 31, 2015
EDD 1: May 12, 2016
DD1 Emma born May 12, 2016
An Honest Account of New Motherhood (with Postpartum Anxiety, Depression, and OCD)
BFP 2: October 07, 2019
EDD 2: June 20, 2020
My family lives far away so I understand that feeling. Could you possibly get involved with some sort of activity outside of the home in order to meet new people? It would be good for you to have some time out of the house I imagine. Maybe a prenatal exercise class, a hobby, a walking group, a choir etc.
Again, I do think professional support would be a wise way to go. Wishing you the best!
Edited for spelling
I always try to have something planned in the future to look forward to- particularly trips back to visit my parents and sibling. DD and I make the 6 hour drive every other month and stay for 5 or so days. It really helps with the loneliness when I have something to look forward too! Also, with DH's work schedule, he can rarely take time to do things with us, so I make an extra effort to go out with DD and do things on our own- even if it's just walking at the mall, going to the zoo, or going out to lunch once a week. So, my advice is to make plans- things to look forward to! Even small plans help! Just having something on my calendar is motivating.
On your birthday, do something special just for you! Get your nails or hair done or treat yourself to a movie and a big tub of popcorn! Hope you start feeling better!
Anyways, this is my first and his second. He didn't want anymore kids and has been very angry and resentful. I found out a few weeks ago he'd been lying and cheating so we broke up. He's been pretty absent during my pregnancy and I've never felt this sad and lonely in my entire life. I'm 14 weeks 3 days now and have basically been doing this alone. I can't help but feel very sad and very angry and resentful towards the father for being so cold and absent and cheating on me.