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Paternity leave

PRuddzPRuddz member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months
My husband can't take paternity leave as he works in sure a small family run business. But he is allowed to take personal holiday time when the baby is born. But because he doesn't want to loose out on too much of his holiday time he is only prepared to take a week. Am I over reacting or is this fair?

It's our first baby and I never thought I would be able to have children so I am so scared of doing something wrong. I would just like him to take a couple of weeks off with me, I'm scared to be on my own with the baby.

What is everyone else doing in regards to paternity leave?
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Re: Paternity leave

  • massey25massey25 member
    My SO took a week off. FTM here also and I was terrified to be home alone with baby. Both his mom and mine offered to stay with us for a bit, but I like my personal space and also didn't want someone to baby me through taking care of my baby so I declined the offers. The first week was scary, but it was fine! We had zero issues and he just kept his phone on him in case I needed him to come home. It ended up me just sending him a ton of pics of us.

    You'll do great! It turns out everyone is right when they say it.. We're built for this! Try not to stress yourself out too much.
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  • saladflambesaladflambe member
    DH gets like 2 weeks, but I doubt I'll want him to take more than one. I need my space...
    ~~Signature Trigger Warning~~

    Me: 32; Him: 36
    Married: Oct 20, 2013
    BFP 1: Aug 31, 2015
    EDD 1: May 12, 2016
    DD1 Emma born May 12, 2016
    An Honest Account of New Motherhood (with Postpartum Anxiety, Depression, and OCD)

    BFP 2: October 07, 2019
    EDD 2: June 20, 2020


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  • SmrBrd2012SmrBrd2012 member
    edited October 2015
    DH took one week off, I took 10 weeks of leave, and then my hubby took an additional 4 (used vacation and sick time). That first week together is great. It's tough afterwards but you can do it! The biggest prob I had was barely sleeping because I didn't make hubs help me at night after he was working FT again.
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  • rckstr4lferckstr4lfe member
    With our first, my husband was off two days and had to go right back to work. He worked nights, too. But I made it through and so will you. Chin up, momma. You can do this.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickersLilypie Third Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers

    DS - BFP 01/15/13 - EDD 09/21/13 - Born 09/22/13
    DD - BFP 02/02/15 - EDD 10/13/15 - Born 10/15/15
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  • delujm0delujm0 member
    Dh took off 4 days with lo. We had family staying with us for the first 3 weeks so there wasn't really a need for him to be home to help. Once everyone left he worked from home for a week so I could get used to being home alone with LO while having him there as emergency backup. You'll figure it out alone...you'll be alone eventually so you may as well start early!
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  • Kayciejoe56Kayciejoe56 member
    FTM here also, and DH took 1 week off. He could have taken more vacation time, but we opted to save that so he could take some time off during the holidays, since I'll still be on leave. I feel like 1 week was enough time and honestly. DH spent most of his time taking care of me, so I could take care of LO. He took care of meals, held the baby so I could shower and just offered lots of moral support and assurances that I was doing a great job as mommy.

    Don't get me wrong... he bonded with LO too, and hardly left our side, but between EBF and me being primary caretaker for the first 4 months (and really, just the fact that I'm the mommy) I handled most of the baby stuff. Although it was nice to have someone wake up with me while i was adjusting... there really isn't a need for 2 parents to both get up with baby (and if DH got up, I probably wouldn't have been able to sleep anyways.

    I did have a little anxiety before he went back, but it was fine and I adjusted to it being the 2 of us very quickly! Just don't put to many expectations on yourself other than taking care of and learning your Lo! All the chores can wait and soon enough you'll be balancing it all. But the first few days, just snuggle that baby and follow their lead... they will let you know when they need something! Don't be hard on yourself... you're learning and baby will feel the love, even when you make some mistakes while figuring it out.
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  • shaley29shaley29 member
    My husband took two weeks off. When he went back to work I cried lol. I was so afraid of being alone with the baby. Everything was fine, and it's actually quite nice being alone, you get to rest when the baby is!
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  • PRuddzPRuddz member
    Thank you for sharing your stories. You have all helped me feel a bit better about it. I know women have been being mothers since forever, so I probably shouldn't worry so much but it still frightens me. Thanks again for sharin ladies. And thank you for your support. I've just got to man up a bit ;) xx
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