January 2016 Moms

Baby Pictures on Facebook

Hey Ladies, I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I am not sure if I want to be posting photos of babe on FB after he is born. Maybe one to announce and minimal afterwards if that. The problem is I am really nervous about my mom. She LOVES Facebook and is OBSESSED with posting multiple times per day. Recently she visited with her friends-kids-baby and posted 7 photos of him in one day! He is not even related to her! I just know when LO comes along she is going to want to post photos of him constantly and it makes me really nervous. In addition to this we went through a huge ordeal when I got married and she posted hundreds of my professional wedding photos to FB without my permission and it was a huge blowout between us after. 

Has anyone thought about their social media policies related to baby? Anyone have any advice for my situation with my mom? 
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Re: Baby Pictures on Facebook

  • My profile is very private, but I probably won't post all that many baby photos. I haven't given it much thought yet. I have a friend that is constantly posting baby photos and after a while, I just don't care to see so many updates! Her kid is cute, but I don't care to see a new picture every day.

    As for your mother, you need to establish a STRICT no-photos online policy. Explain to her very clearly your reasons (wanting to be the only one posting baby pics, being afraid of creeps or other scary stuff so that she really gets it and wants to comply). If you're comfortable, tell her she can "share" the photos of LO on her Facebook that you have posted yourself. Hopefully she abides but if you discover she does not...it might be a no-camera zone for your mother when she is around baby. Hopefully it doesn't come to something so extreme though.
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  • ntyravgspntyravgsp member
    edited October 2015
    I don't have fb and I rarely put pictures of DD on my IG. It is set to private and I have approved and personally know all of my followers.
    If you don't want pictures of your baby online, then tell your mom. Put your foot down on this one, it is a matter of his safety and your comfort. If she can't follow your rule, be a hard-ass. Sounds like you already have issues with her respecting your wishes, but I'm sure she'll pay attention if you tell her that she won't get to visit with him if she does post pictures when you've told her not to.
    Eta also I believe there have been a couple discussions about this, maybe try searching the board to see additional ideas.
  • I am making it very clear to people, family in particular, about posting pics on FB. I will post occasional pictures, that's it. I will only post pics that I or DH are also in (less likely to be used creepily that way). I plan on posting most of the pics on an invite only instagram. This way I know who can see them and people who don't enjoy seeing baby pics won't have to. 
  • ntyravgsp said:

    I don't have fb and I rarely put pictures of DD on my IG. It is set to private and I have approved and personally know all of my followers.
    If you don't want pictures of your baby online, then tell your mom. Put your foot down on this one, it is a matter of his safety and your comfort. If she can't follow your rule, be a hard-ass. Sounds like you already have issues with her respecting your wishes, but I'm sure she'll pay attention if you tell her that she won't get to visit with him if she does post pictures when you've told her not to.
    Eta also I believe there have been a couple discussions about this, maybe try searching the board to see additional ideas.

    This!
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  • I am not a big social media poster, nor is my husband or any of my family. I post pictures of my kids a few times a year and my mom posts them maybe 1 or 2 times a year when we are vacationing with them. Personally, I don't really see the harm in posting photos on Facebook as long as you know all the people on your friends list and you have some profile privacy measures in place. But even with out those, I have never heard of a child being abducted or harmed in any way after mom posted their photo online. I have heard of photos being stolen and people passing kids off as their own on forums like these, while that is annoying and I would be pissed if it happened to my photos, still it's pretty harmless.

    I think the really important thing to keep in mind is that social media is here to stay and will be around for a very long time. It will be the norm for our kids. Photos you post of your kids now will likely still be hanging around social media when they are older. So I avoid posting anything that will embarrass my kids, and definitely no potty training stories or photos and no bath time photos which I see a lot of my friends do!

    I also don't want to be the annoying mom who always posts about her kids! I do however have a private blog that my family can access where I share lots of photos and stories of my kids. It is fun to look back through the blog at all the memories and it is easy to keep my far away family updated without overloading facebook with my kid photos.
  • maureenmcemaureenmce member
    edited October 2015
    I don't know if I really have a social media policy when it comes to the baby.  I see no problem sharing some baby photos with my (and my husband's) Facebook friends.  Most of our friends do.  My mom is the only grandparent online and she has like, 25 friends on FB so I don't really see a concern there with her sharing photos, in my situation.  I have a public instagram that I'll make private once the baby is here, but other than that I don't see much harm.  I won't post any potty training photos (because I think it's gross) or anything that would embarrass an adult person looking back at their own baby photos.  (As much as you can anticipate that type of thing.)

    I have friends all across the spectrum of photo sharing - some share none, some share limited and some have whole facebook profiles they have made for their babies!  I know a girl who posts a photo of her baby every single day on Instagram, with a hashtag of what numbered day if her life it is!  (I think she's around 500 now!)  I definitely won't go that route, but I plan to share some photos.  :)

    I don't know, I'm not overly private, I suppose.  I have a public blog, I have Facebook and Instragram and I post on both pretty frequently.  I think we live in a social media world and it's fine to embrace that as long as you're not really weird or crazy or overboard about it.  And, of course, it's also fine to abstain from it if you're uncomfortable!  You do you!  (And there's no problem politely telling your family about your social media policy/plans.)
  • I don't know if I really have a social media policy when it comes to the baby.  I see no problem sharing some baby photos with my (and my husband's) Facebook friends.  Most of our friends do.  My mom is the only grandparent online and she has like, 25 friends on FB so I don't really see a concern there with her sharing photos, in my situation.  I have a public instagram that I'll make private once the baby is here, but other than that I don't see much harm.  I won't post any potty training photos (because I think it's gross) or anything that would embarrass an adult person looking back at their own baby photos.  (As much as you can anticipate that type of thing.)


    I have friends all across the spectrum of photo sharing - some share none, some share limited and some have whole facebook profiles they have made for their babies!  I know a girl who posts a photo of her baby every single day on Instagram, with a hashtag of what numbered day if her life it is!  (I think she's around 500 now!)  I definitely won't go that route, but I plan to share some photos.  :)

    I don't know, I'm not overly private, I suppose.  I have a public blog, I have Facebook and Instragram and I post on both pretty frequently.  I think we live in a social media world and it's fine to embrace that as long as you're not really weird or crazy or overboard about it.  And, of course, it's also fine to abstain from it if you're uncomfortable!  You do you!  (And there's no problem politely telling your family about your social media policy/plans.)
    What number day of her life? Wow!

    I don't post too often, and when I do, I try to make it meaningful. I agree with making sure to use "appropriate" pics. I'm amazed by how many bath time photos I see. I am going to try to keep it down to 1-2 per month. We have a lot of out of town family and use FB to keep up until we see them once a year. It has been great so far, but if it becomes a nuisance and people are posting our little guy, I will deactivate in a heartbeat. I hate drama!
  • @essentialpeace - I just checked - we're at number 574 of this kid's life, haha.  No judgement, but I do not have the stamina for that, haha!
  • I post my own children, but it isn't a constant thing. I do an occasional photo dump of at least 4 months worth at a time. My MIL is seriously snap-happy, but she is flaky and frequently doesn't remember to post them, so it hasn't come up much. I don't mind other people posting photos, as long as they tag me and I know it's going on.
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  • I like to think I won't be that snap happy mum but, I know deep down that I will be. Maybe not a running number of her days outside the womb but, I do think I'll post fairly often. I have a private Instagram and feel comfortable with the friends I have on Facebook. My biggest thing is that I want DH and I to be the ones to share her first official social media photo. After that, I'm not too worried about it. To each their own!

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  • I don't really care about the people I have as my facebook friends seeing photos, but the problem lies in the fact that my mom has like 100s of friends on facebook and I end up receiving comments from random people I've never met. I had one of my bridesmaids say a total stranger has come up to her in public and commented on a photo that my mom had shared of her from my wedding. She's just a little out of control. My mom has very few limits on her facebook page and when some man who is a friend of my moms friend  that i've never met nor heard of comments on how beautiful I am in my wedding photo it makes me uncomfortable, so I can only imagine those feelings will be exacerbated with my LO. 
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  • *lurking from December*

    My hubby and I are currently living in a different country then our families and social media is the best way for our family to see the first few years of babies life!

    We both have very secure facebooks, and I'm really not worried about something happening. I would probably make sure the location is turned off JIC, and I don't really like those bathtub potty pictures (those are ok for your own family memories but I don't think the world needs to see it!).

    I do post an obscene amount of pictures of my cat, do I'm hoping i don't do the same of the baby.

    My mom bought us a onesie that says "famous on Facebook"
  • I don't have facebook and I don't post personal pics on Instagram. I don't want family posting pics of the baby, I'll tell my family, but I'm going to have to ask my husband to tell his. We will certainly email and texts pics to family and friends, but no social media.

    Just as a heads up, even if you have the location off when you post a picture, there is data within the picture file itself that someone good with computers can use to see the location of where the pic was taking (vs where it was posted). There is a way to remove this data but I do not remember it.
  • Check out the app Cluster. It allows you to post pictures like Facebook but is totally secure. You can add only the people you want to share an album with so your mom can get her picture fix without the entire world seeing everything :)
  • I'm aiming for a very small digital footprint of my daughter, and fortunately my friends and family are pretty respectful of that. It's not a "no pictures posted ever" policy, but I am very careful what I do post and you can't see DD's face in most pics. There are some crazy people out there! And it is not just a matter of how secure YOUR FB acct is but also all of your friends. I've had photos stolen and it is creepy.

     

  • I completely understand how you are feeling. My DH and I don't have facebook profiles, the bump is as far as I will go. My mum on the other hand is facebook crazy! I love her so much, but she is 'friends' with sooo many people, that I am going to restrict what she puts on there about my baby boy!
    My DH is a very private person, and when we
    got married he was really upset when she put photos of us both on there. He doesn't like the thought of people he doesn't know, locally, knowing about our private little life. It makes him uncomfortable when strangers come up to us and say about seeing our photo's on my mums Facebook page!
    My DH is now worried about what my mum will put on there about our boy! He doesn't want his whole life on the Internet, neither do I, so I'm going to have to sit my mum down and have a talk! It got really awkward when she put scan photos on there and announced to everyone we was having a boy, before we had had a chance to tell all our family members of our exciting news. All
    of her facebook 'friends' saw pictures of our boy before my DH step dad did, and he was really upset.
    I think being open and honest is the best way to go with our mums, I should have had the talk earlier really, but you live and learn. I know my mum will be a bit upset, but when our son is old enough, he can decide what parts of his life he wants to share with others on social media sites, I feel that is really important.
    Good luck to you xxxxx
  • I'm considering a minimal FB presence esp with baby pics. I only post bump pics, no ultrasounds. I trust the people I'm friends with, but if they don't have strict privacy settings then people they're friends with can see the pics they like.
    And while I'm ok with my dumb college pics being a part of FBs vast amount of data, I don't want my kids pics to be a part of that. 1 big hack/data breach to hold a billion dollar social media giant hostage would put all of my info I've shared at risk.
    As much as we think we have control, even pictures posted on FB where you are the only viewer ("only me" privacy option) are now shared with you and Facebook and whoever manages their data. Social media isn't just some blank canvas that you paint your life on, it's a bank vault that you deposit information into.
  • Another vote for the 100% no fb or social footprint. I've been decided on this before baby was even concieved. No if, ands, or buts. You want to see my child, you can see them in real life, in physical pictures we print/brag books/photos printed FOR family/close friends, and possibly an occasional one through email. If any family doesn't agree, that's a deal breaker. Too many unsafe things in the world now. I don't know how friends post tons of pics everyday of their babies, children, bath pics, poop pics, schedules, whereabouts, school info, home address, etc. Definitely a pet peeve of mine. I say nothing judgey to them, but it blows my mind. Is nothing sacred or personal anymore? Blame it on law & order, blame it on technology, I don't care. I'm not going to just hand over my child to an abducter or give them the keys to my house. It's called a little discretion, lol.
  • maureenmcemaureenmce member
    edited October 2015
     I don't know how friends post tons of pics everyday of their babies, children, bath pics, poop pics, schedules, whereabouts, school info, home address, etc. Definitely a pet peeve of mine. I say nothing judgey to them, but it blows my mind. Is nothing sacred or personal anymore? Blame it on law & order, blame it on technology, I don't care. I'm not going to just hand over my child to an abducter or give them the keys to my house. It's called a little discretion, lol.
    At least you don't say anything judgey though!  LOL.  And who are you hanging out with that posts their home address and children's daily schedules???  Most people I know post a photo of their child a pumpkin patch or something, not like, all of their personal info and a detailed set of instructions called How to Kidnap My Child.  I'm definitely a "you do what works for you" type of person, but I think it's a bit extreme to act like anyone who posts baby photos on Facebook is asking for a kidnapping. 
  • jferrer1212jferrer1212 member
    edited October 2015



     I don't know how friends post tons of pics everyday of their babies, children, bath pics, poop pics, schedules, whereabouts, school info, home address, etc. Definitely a pet peeve of mine. I say nothing judgey to them, but it blows my mind. Is nothing sacred or personal anymore? Blame it on law & order, blame it on technology, I don't care. I'm not going to just hand over my child to an abducter or give them the keys to my house. It's called a little discretion, lol.

    At least you don't say anything judgey though!  LOL.  And who are you hanging out with that posts their home address and children's daily schedules???  Most people I know post a photo of their child a pumpkin patch or something, not like, all of their personal info and a detailed set of instructions called How to Kidnap My Child.  I'm definitely a "you do what works for you" type of person, but I think it's a bit extreme to act like anyone who posts baby photos on Facebook is asking for a kidnapping. 



    _________

    Not asking for, of course not. But even as a pp mentioned there is information tagged to photos regarding time & location. People can see or figure out when you're "usually at park abc or out at work with an empty house". I just believe in not making it easy (for the bad guys) lol. I know part of it sounds like paranoia. I've also had a past experience of a break in & know what cops look for etc. Also, there is the simple act of a screen shot. This is why snap chat or other programs pictures can exist somewhere forever. You might be innocent & your friends innocent....but you can't control every single one of your fb friends' privacy settings and a simple in law sharing a sweet picture can end up in a creepy person collection in an instant. Can you? There's no possible way. No thank you for me please. That's all. :-) I don't push my ideas or concerns on others at all, it's my perogitive and just trying to be pro-active. :-) to each their own, and it's my kid lol.
  • Oh yes, and having a big loud barking dog does make the house feel safer, too. End of side note lol
  • @jeferrer1212   Of course!  Your kid, your social media policy, and no one would want you to change your own social media opinions. :)   I just think it's kind of offensive to act like parents who post photos (within reason) on social media are taking some sort of crazy risks and have no concept of discretion.   

    I think most people know these days not to announce when you're going on vacation on social media, just like you crop out personal information in your ultrasound photos if you want to share those, etc. There are plenty of common sense ways to have a reasonable amount of privacy while still using social media.  And, in fact, I think developing a smart way to navigate social media and still have a reasonable amount of privacy is a very important skill for kids to learn, once they're preteens and teenagers!  So, ideally my kids would learn that from me and my social media habits, that I use for my own life and for theirs when they're small.  :)

    Anyway, overall, to each his own, but I think there's a way to say that without painting other parents as people who don't care about the safety of their children.
  • Dropping in from Feb '16 to say that while I will not be posting much (and never post much) personal stuff on FB my sister is so FB crazy. I know I am going to have to lay down the law about photo sharing. She doesn't notice differences between herself and others, or if she does she just thinks other people are wrong. So it's not going to be obvious to her that my FB style is much different
  • @maureenmce I think there is a very large spectrum of safety regarding social media & sharing online. I do know myself to be on the extreme end of not wanting to take any risk. I do not, however, believe that I am painting other parents that post anything on fb as not caring for their children and posing risk on purpose whatsoever. Many people do, in fact utilize safety precautions, privacy settings high, and use common sense when sharing. All I was trying to say was that SOME people nonchalantly post their life story without blinking an eye about it. Not everyone shares the notion that educating your children of safety both in real life & online. Many parents just hand over the iphones & computers without even a discussion. There is a broad spectrum between taking some precautions on fb, more or less. Yes, I am neurotic about it. Lol. Sorry. I was just sharing my opinions, which I think is free to do so here. My intentions are not to offend anyone. Again, the topic is of Baby Pictures on FB, so an open discussion is definitely a rational one. :-)
  • maureenmcemaureenmce member
    edited October 2015
    @jferrer1212 - I'm not offended, don't worry. :)  Just expressing my views on the topic.  Yes I did think your initial comment was a bit extreme/harsh on other parents, but you've clarified your views, so no worries!   And honestly everyone's neurotic about something!  And it certainly makes sense to be neurotic about something so overwhelming and easily misused.  :)
  • @maureenmce Thank goodness you replied, I was upset I upsetted you. I'm like oh no, I wasn't trying to be mean at all & I hope I don't get kicked off the bump lol. I need the bump to get through to the end of this wonderful journey :) I feel much better!
  • No pictures of the baby on FB. Period. Maybe a year or so later when we are all out for a vacation and in that context but other than that the life of my child is private till he/she is grown up enough to decide otherwise for themselves.
  • I agree with taking the approach of a few birth announcement pics, then very few after that. I plan on culling my friends list down to people I actually know IRL. Mostly, I will send my good friends baby pictures privately. 




  • I post pictures on Facebook because all our families live out of state and its an easy way to notify everyone. My MIL is Facebook obsessed. She posted that I was in labor at the hospital when I had my 1st child and then everyone immediately starting calling and texting me midlabor. I was pissed. When we called her to tell her about the baby we told her that she could not post anything on Facebook. she could only share the pictures we put up. She was ok with that. Therefore, I suggest discussing your feelings with her.
  • I have a large extended family I'm very close with, and I live in a different country so Facebook is an important way for us all to keep up with each other. I will be posting pictures, but my privacy settings are high and my friends list doesn't have people I don't know well. I'm currently a once a week poster, and I don't expect to change much. 

    I completely respect that other people choose not to post any pictures, hopefully you can all get family to stick to this. Only my MIL will be around for the birth of the baby and I know she plans on sending pictures to my family, I do worry that there will be pictures all over FB from the baby's excited Aunts and Grandparents before I even get home, that would bother me. 
  • We post way more pics of our girls than I intended! I figure anyone who doesn't want to see them will unfollow or unfriendly me.

    As to privacy, I have several very smart friends who don't post any pictures of their kids online. I respect their decision but I think it's kind of futile to try to keep your child's image private and off the internet.

    I do feel strongly about naked pictures. Naked pictures of children are regularly stolen for pedophile sites and a private facebook page isn't much protection. All of our family knows not to post anything naked (we do have a couple adorable professional naked baby pictures framed on our wall because naked babies are amazing) online and we've never had a problem. While I love seeing them, I cringe when I see facebook friends post naked pictures of their kids. One posts regularly of her son who must be about 4. Adorable, but my mama bear senses start tingling.
  • I don't want photos of my lo on social media either. My MIL is insisting she will post pictures. I will be having a conversation with her..again. bottom line, it's your child and you should be the person that says where photos go.
  • I talked to all my close friends and family and was very clear that I do not want anyone posting pictures of baby. I clearly said that only I can post pictures. Thanfully they have been super respectful but just in case we will remind them all when they see the baby after delivery.
  • Seriously, I hate people posting photos of me or my family on Facebook without permission. Can I copyright or trademark my face so it's likeness can't be used without my consent?
  • Seriously, I hate people posting photos of me or my family on Facebook without permission. Can I copyright or trademark my face so it's likeness can't be used without my consent?
    I think only if they try to use it for profit, but it's not a bad idea to watermark your pics anyway so at least it makes it harder for creepos to pass them off as their own.
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