Gaining weight and hating it

andrag44 · October 2015

This is my 3rd pregnancy. And It was a MAJOR surprise, we thought we were done. I wanted to be done. I was in the process of loosing some weight and toning up my "mom bod" Then, I found out I am pregnant.

I am beyond ecstatic for this surprise, after 2 boys we found out we are having a girl!! Everything feels like it was meant to be. But I am having a hard time not HATING myself every time I step on the scale and see the numbers go up.

I was not like this with my first 2.

In my first trimester I was so sick I lost about 3lbs, and I liked it. (ugh I hate admitting that) Now that I am in my 2nd trimester I am eating healthy foods, and exercising but I am steadily gaining weight. I know this is good, b/c you have to gain when you are pregnant, that means my little girl is growing. I just want to focus on that and not so much on a number. But I feel I am becoming obsessed with it and I am afraid it is taking over my pregnancy. Anyone else feel this way? Anyone had any advice?

Goldsgirl9 · October 2015

No advice but I am right there with you. As long as you are eating healthy and exercising there is nothing else you can do.

With DS I never gained any weight until about 16-18 weeks. I'm already plus size so putting weight really stresses me out. Like you, I had just started a work out regimene before getting pregnant and every day I get on the scale and see the numbers go up I freak out.

Just know you are doing your best for your baby girl and yourself. In good news if you keep up the working out I heard the weight just melt off after the baby. Fingers crossed!

eastdurian · October 2015

So sorry you're having a stressful time. Even though I wanted this LO I've been in major denial and was pretty upset in the beginning because we'd planned on waiting longer and it happening so early was definitely a surprise. Your basic reaction is super normal.

As for worrying about your weight, if you think it's going to overwhelm you it might be best to talk to your doctor and see if they can hook you up with a nutritionist. They might be able to set goals for you and give you helpful tips for maintaining a lower weight throughout pregnancy.

It's easy to say "don't worry, baby needs it, etc" but I know it's not easy to feel that way. Getting support early on should be beneficial throughout your pregnancy and after the birth.

littlesocks · October 2015

I think a lot of women deal with this. Especially in the beginning when you're gaining and not necessarily showing a bump, but more bloat.

I am feeling this way and I planned for this pregnancy. However, I am having twins and I'm scared about the weight gain and whether my body has enough room for two. I had a hard enough time carrying just one last time.

What I've been doing to cope is to realize how much weight a typical person gains in a pregnancy is baby, extra fluids, the placenta and 7-10 pounds of fat. If you gain 10 pounds of fat it's really not that much to lose in the end.

Edit: I should have added the chart. I couldn't add it to this post so I commented two posts down.

[Deleted User] · October 2015

yuuuup.

After DD I did Advocare and lost the rest of my baby weight (gained 65, lost 80) and was the smallest I'd been since high school. Kept it off for 2.5 years until I got KU with this one. Seeing it come back so fast and furious (up 15 already) def has me weary. It's like my willpower is gone. I used to be so good at avoiding sugar and crap food but lately I'm like french fries? yes please. chocolate at the checkout line whaaaaat?! Plus the battle of the porcelain is a real thing and I avoid the scale after my no go days. sucks.

But I guess my mindset instead of obsessing is just going to be working towards channeling this energy to a major reset after LO is born and KNOWING that i can lose it again. Using those negative feelings as ammo come May when I'm ready to get back to fighting form and remembering how shitty it feels to feel this way. That make sense?

good luck and you're in good company!

littlesocks · October 2015

This isn't the exact chart I was thinking of, but you get the picture

imrachellea · October 2015

I was pretty overweight from middle school through high school and started making life style changes my senior year. From my heaviest to my smallest I lost 85 lbs (mixture of Weight Watchers, healthy eating, and exercise). I remember when DH and I were dating I told him that when we had kids someday he was going to have to help me with the mental part of gaining weight and letting me know it was okay. I actually didn't have as difficult a time about it as I thought, but I totally understand where you are coming from. Weight has always been something I've obsessed over, and it can be hard to change your thinking that its okay to gain when you're pregnant. Just know that a) you're not alone in thinking this and b) you can lose it again!

sprocketsngadgets · October 2015

I'm having a hard time with it too. I gained around 35 with DD and had lost it all before getting KU again. I was finally happy with my post baby body so going through it all again so soon has been a little difficult. I'm hoping that once my bump is baby and not organs/food/gas I'll feel better. At least that's when I stopped caring about my weight last time

Jheaps · October 2015

I'm feeling the same way. I had just finished several months of wedding/honeymoon/reception where I was not as disciplined as I usually am about avoiding carbs and sugar. I was already feeling bigger than I'm comfortable with and was planning to go strict paleo/Whole 30 to get back to my happy set point, when I got KU the night of my reception. To make matters "worse," I've had very little MS but tons of aversions, which means meat is mostly disgusting to me and all I want is carbs. When I went to the Dr for my 8 week checkup, the number on the scale was the highest it's ever been. It's been really hard being ok with it. I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone in feeling frustrated/dumpy/scared about gaining this weight.

pinottoparenthood · October 2015

I don't feel great about my weight gain at this point, either. Like @jheaps, I could only stomach carbs in the beginning, and I gained much more weight in first tri than I was "supposed" to (10-13 lb range I think). However, I do try to bear in mind that I was very fit and in shape before I started.

Also, if it's any consolation, I worried SO MUCH about weight gain with my first. I gained quickly in the beginning just like this time, but for me it DID even out as I felt better and was able to eat healthier foods. I ended up gaining exactly 30 lbs, and my doctor was very happy with that. I had lost that weight within a few weeks of delivery. I continued to lose weight thanks to nursing, exercise, and just being generally happy and busy. I started this pregnancy out at 25 lbs BELOW my pre-pregnancy weight with my son, and i n the best shape of my life! (Mainly thanks to lots of running, I did a half marathon in June).

Anyway.. it does suck, but try to trust your body and not stress. If you are honestly making healthy choices, eating when hungry, and not overindulging (esp in junk food), you'll be completely fine.

Jheaps · October 2015

Thanks for the encouragement @Pinottoparenthood! For me it's been extra hard because even though I was an active runner/cyclist/swimmer before pregnancy, I sprained my ankle badly at 6 weeks. It's been almost 8 weeks and the damn thing is still not completely healed. It's definitely put a damper on my exercising

I'm hoping I can get back in the swing of things soon!

pinottoparenthood · October 2015

Jheaps said:

Thanks for the encouragement @Pinottoparenthood! For me it's been extra hard because even though I was an active runner/cyclist/swimmer before pregnancy, I sprained my ankle badly at 6 weeks. It's been almost 8 weeks and the damn thing is still not completely healed. It's definitely put a damper on my exercising I'm hoping I can get back in the swing of things soon!

Also remember that either way you're not going to be able to exercise like you could before. I was never fast, but I have gone from 9 minute miles to almost 11 minute miles... and that's okay. Any exercise that you CAN do it great! And not that I'm encouraging this, but I really didn't exercise at all with my first pregnancy (quit once morning sickness set in) and I still had no problems with labor, delivery, losing weight postpartum. So I feel like this time it's going to be even better! Even though I've already gotten much slower and gone from running 6 miles four or five times week to running 3-4 miles maybe three times a week, it's still great.

NachosAndPeaches · October 2015

I think it's so important to stay active if you are able to! There is no reason to stop working our hard if you were before, unless you're under dr instructions not to! And keep eating healthy and listen to your body. Eat when hungry and stop when full. If you can do these two things throughout the pregnancy and continue them once baby is here (obviously not the first two weeks when you'll be duck wadding anyway), you will lose the weight fast. Maybe chuck your scale? Or ask DH to hide it? And ask your dr to weigh you backwards?

I was lucky (and very conscious and worked hard) to gain minimal weight with DS. Which was great. Then I had him and people brought me fattening carby casseroles and enchiladas and lasagnas and I stayed 10-15 lb above pre preg weight for a LONG time. Like way too long. My friends who gained double what I gained were back to their pre preg weight way before I was. I remember when DS was 9 months I realized, he's been out as long as he was in! Not okay anymore (yes it was only 5-7 lb at that point but still).

Basically my point is that your weight gain in pregnancy isn't necessarily an indication of how fast you will lose it after birth.

rebelone · October 2015

I'm obese, I cannot gain any more weight. I've been able to maintain pretty good until the last week, which I gained 3 pounds. Soooo, I guess it's time for this girl to eat a salad or two. I was told that I didn't have to gain weight this pregnancy. Well, then... I guess eating that cookie this morning wasn't such a good idea.

jonesl12 · October 2015

It's hard. I feel like all my hard work went down the drain

. I was told I had to stop working out when I got a BFP due to spotting and now at 14 weeks I finally got the ok to hit the gym again thankfully. Seeing my body change is beautiful and a real bummer at the same time. I'm hoping to get back to at least close to my fitness level I was previously but 14 weeks is s long time away from palates and the gym. All we can do is our best and remember the end result is worth it

runlong3 · October 2015

Chuck the scale. Seriously though. If you are eating healthy (and maybe a nutritionist could help if you feel like you're struggling with this), exercising, and taking care of yourself, then there is nothing a scale is going to help you with. Nothing. Some women gain 10#, some women gain 60#, regardless of what they do just because that's what their body wants to do for that pregnancy.

So as long as you are doing what you can to stay healthy, hide the scale, throw it away, get rid of it. Is it really helping you by checking that number? Nope.

spatter1 · October 2015

So glad someone posted about this. Like others have said I think a lot of women struggle mentally with the idea of weight gain. We try so hard NOT to gain weight most of our lives so it's scary to watch it creep up, especially when you are still exercising and not showing a bump yet.

I haven't gained anything yet according to the dreaded scale but I'm definitely a little rounder and much squishier than I was pre-pregnancy. I'm attributing it to the fact that I have kept up my work out routine for the most part and am not ingesting the booze calories I would normally be having! I did a really good job of maintaining my wedding/honeymoon body up until now so it's definitely tough to watch all that hard work going away. Plus I know how hard it was for me to lose weight after I gained the senior 20 in College (way too much booze and taco bell!!) so I am totally freaked out about losing the weight post-baby.

I think we just need to try to stay active and eat as healthy as we can and after that whatever we gain is what we gain. I've heard breastfeeding is great for losing weight post baby too so there's another incentive for those of us interested in BFing!

cortney626 · October 2015

It's been hard mentally for me as I've been so sick and can't stomach much but carbs. I can't wait until I can work out again and eat healthy. I definitely don't over eat but I eat what I can stomach. Weight gain is inevitable though, so I'm trying to just do what's within my control...eat right and exercise. I can "diet" after the baby is born.

andrag44 · October 2015

Thanks ladies! Good to know I am not alone in my struggle. I have my doctor appointment Min.
I will talk with her about this issue. For some reason I can't get it our of my head that having a baby after 30 ( I will be 32 this month) will make it harder to lose the weight. Its probably true though. B

mrstrax · October 2015

I agree with @NachosAndPeaches - chuck the scale and be weighed backwards and then continue eating healthy and being active. You can ask your OB to tell you if there is anything to worry about with your weight, high or low and help you stay on track but that way you don't need to be reminded daily/weekly.

haiku16 · October 2015

Agreed with the ditch the scale suggestion. I've weighed myself backwards at doctors visits since the age of 21, and ask that they not disclose my weight with me. In my past, I've struggled with weight related obsession, so it's just the sane choice for me. My doctor has said she'll notify me if I gain too much weight, but other than that, weight talk is off limits.

kguitarchic18 · October 2015

so happy to hear Im not the only one feeling this way either! I think its really hard before you have a real bump to show off, and just seeing the weight gain and the bloat and clothes not fitting, it makes me feel fat and lazy.

I was working out consistently 5-6 days a week 6 months before getting pregnant and I just could not loose more than 1lb, so I was already 5lbs over the weight I wanted to be at (i think coming off birth control messed with my system), and now I have gained about 10 lbs and I can see it. I know its good and it means the baby is growing, its just hard when I have never been this weight and not fit into clothes. Its also hard to be as strict with my eating, I too am like french fries? pizza? yes.... I really am going to start trying to eat healthy and clean, veggies, meats, healthy carbs, and try to start working out maybe 2-3 days a week.

JadaBlue · October 2015

Great suggestions from PPs, I just want to echo that I think this feeling gets better for a lot of women after you're body looks obviously pregnant. It's like something clicks that you're not just packing on the pounds, you're growing a baby who will eventually make an exit.

Bootsie327 · October 2015

Mentally it is hard to switch gears from losing back to gaining. Just remember that gain is normal and healthy, and as long as you stay in control of it, it will be fine! I gained 70 lbs with my son. I lost the initial 30 lbs of baby, fluid, and some fat, but it then took me 9 months on WW to lose the rest. Gaining again def feels odd. But I know now that if I am craving something, I can indulge but don't have to eat the whole box. I'm also more active now, so I'm hoping for better weight results/healthy gains.

Bootsie327 · October 2015

JadaBlue said:
Great suggestions from PPs, I just want to echo that I think this feeling gets better for a lot of women after you're body looks obviously pregnant. It's like something clicks that you're not just packing on the pounds, you're growing a baby who will eventually make an exit.

Yes, that too! The first few months are like "well I'm awkward and bloated" and then the bump arrives and it feels so much better and normal.

ivyvines6 · October 2015

I feel your pain! I did my first half marathon back in January and acquired a fracture in my foot during it (I was ready, just didn't warm up enough for the cold) and that put me out of commission until around April. I signed up for another in December and had started running to just get back into motivation, fast forward to July 29th positive prego test! Next day lots of bleeding and a trip to the ER which put me on bed rest for almost a month. I had another bout of random bleeding last month, and because of that I'm still not cleared to start exercising again, and I am SOOOO sad about it! Luckily I can defer til next year >.>

Meanwhile I'm losing weight and everyone is freaking out (except me) because they don't get that I'm not losing fat it's my muscles. I am definitely terrified of gaining too much weight though. I want to be back to normal weight three to four months after baby, otherwise I know I'll be mopey and depressed afterwards.

Shannahbee · October 2015

It isn't so much my weight that is bothering me in particular, but I am having a harder time with my body image this time than I did when pregnant with my first. First of all, I already look more pregnant at under 14 weeks than I did at 20 weeks last time... I know that is because my ab muscles are shot to hell, but I also feel like that has also caused me to look so much flabbier. I totally don't feel as cute and pregnant as I did with DS1. This time I'm like this tired pregnant Mom! I am trying to just not think about it, but I totally feel like it will be so much harder to bounce back this time.

iamrandom · October 2015

I totally empathize with how you're feeling. This will be my first child (though it's not my first pregnancy) and I'm also struggling with body image. I've always been slim and though I haven't gained any weight according to the scale I feel like my body looks really different. I did IVF and ended up with a complication that caused my ovaries to swell massively and I ended up retaining a shit ton--technical term--of fluid. Now the fluid is gone and I'm back down to my pre-IVF weight, but I feel like between the gigantic ovaries and pregnancy bloat I've looked like a marshmallow version of myself since July.

TLDR; I feel your pain.

babygerman16 · October 2015

Well I want to gain weight and I don't feel like I'm gaining any. I've been little my while life. Only gained a belly with my first kid 13 years ago. I'm 33 now and hoping I can gain some weight and hold on to it after birth. Im 5'7 136 lbs

jkffx7 · October 2015

I'm really benefited from tracking my calories daily and aiming to stay withing the range my midwife suggested- that way, when I get on the scale, I know that what I'm putting on is warranted and not just extra

. I use My Fitness Pal. I haven't gained any significant weight yet, but still, I'm with you, every pound is pretty defeating. At least tracking my calories helps me feel like I have some control

Good luck, I hope your stress is reduced with some of the advice given here.

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