TRIGGER WARNING-celebrity bfp

twomommiestobe · October 2015

I don't always keep up with celebrity gossip, but Chrissy Teigen caught my attention when she publicly came out about the infertility struggles her and John Legend were having a while back. I just heard their ivf was successful and they got their bfp. I am glad she has brought it out in the spotlight about continually asking couples when they will have babies. I hope this just helps bring more attention to infertility, our struggles, and our ups/downs. I am ALWAYS excited to hear about a bfp after IF treatments!! Any thoughts on it?

jnissa · October 2015

I had the same reaction. Apparently they had been trying since well before they were actually married and it took them years and years and years. I'm even more happy because she's not really that old, and I think a lot of people don't realize how hard infertility is hitting people who should be in their fertile years. I loved that while she was honest about their struggles she treated talking about IVF like it was no big. Just another way to get pregnant.

Generally I love them both. She also has an interview out there where she talks about how people shouldn't always be asking "When are you having kids?" to a couple because you never know when it will be really hurtful.

Side Note: A handful of years ago, I saw John Legend open up for Sade AND IT WAS LIFE CHANGING

(the whole show, not just John Legend)

twomommiestobe · October 2015

Yes! @jnissa you are right about the age! Most celebrities who do open up about IVF are older and waited to have kids bc of their career, so people don't bat an eye when they say they used ivf.

GoldenKeys · October 2015

I'm thinking that IVF isn't a big deal to celebs because they've got enough cash to do unlimited rounds of IVF and can easily get a surrogate if necessary. For us mere mortals, IVF is usually the end of the line for pregnancy after a finite amount of rounds.

agriffin92013 · October 2015

Very true @GoldenKeys to them it's a drop in the bucket to us it's like a down payment on a house

Whiggrrl65 · October 2015

Lol @GoldenKeys at the line "mere mortals". I certainly feel like that today and totally wish I had a cool $15K in the bank to begin the process.

clt2pwm11 · October 2015

And for this public school teacher, IVF won't be an option on our cheap little table.

twomommiestobe · October 2015

clt2pwm11 said:
And for this public school teacher, IVF won't be an option on our cheap little table.

I'm just a nanny going to college to be a teacher! Lol we are selling our souls and going to finance ivf.

KidShrink · October 2015

While I agree that the financial aspect is a non-issue for celebrities, therefore removing one aspect of the stress that comes with infertility, it doesn't change anything to the emotional aspect. DH and I were lucky enough that we couldn go to IVF if we needed because we're doing fairly well financially. It also meant that we were ready to have kids and could afford them (we bought a 4 bedroom house 2 years ago and it just felt awfully empty), when I've seen kids whose parents give them up for adoption because they're so stuck in their issues (financial, emotional, etc.) that they can't provide for their kids. So yes, cash is a big issue for us with no infertility coverage, but remember that no matter what you're financial situation is, the emotional piece of infertility isn't any different. After all, are you on this board for help with the financial aspect, or the emotional one? Just food for thought...

jnissa · October 2015

Yes. I'd like to second that I doubt that just because the money is there this is less of a struggle for celebrities. IVF isn't a financial struggle for us. It doesn't mean that our journey is any less emotionally charged than yours - or that we don't say "Wow, that's a lot of money to get pregnant." I think that's a really unfair statement, TBH, that really narrows this process to a part that really is just that ... a part.

My point was that, really, more people need to be talking about IVF like it's just another way to get pregnant like she did. How many times have we seen women come onto these boards and say "I'm just not ready to face IVF" and it has little or nothing to do with the money? It's because they view that process as somehow failing, or it's not a "real or natural" way of getting pregnant. We all seen some of those women who resist IVF for a really long time, often until the options aren't even there any more. If famous people, wealthy or not, normalize it in the social conversation, that helps lots of women long term.

I'm not saying the financial stress isn't a real thing. I cried too when I spent the equivalent of 1/2 a year of college for my daughter trying to have a kid, but I think the direction this took wasn't necessarily a healthy one if we want to really propel the idea of being emotionally OK about seeking IF treatment.

KidShrink · October 2015

@jnissa : couldn't have agreed more! On the bright side, these celebrities are able to bring attention to an issue non-celebrities like us face. In Quebec (where I'm from), IVF became paid by the government thanks in great part to a celebrity that spoke up about that being an necessity.

twomommiestobe · October 2015

Exactly why I am excited for them @jnissa
I have family who consider ivf babies "test tube babies" (in the full negative connotation). I like that it is being normalized and talked about. I do agree the money makes it just a different obtainable option for celebrities, but she still felt the same emptiness we have felt. I am glad she spoke out on how we should stop asking everyone when they will have babies. I want our kid to grow up and feel just like everyone else because ivf is now becoming the norm! I mean our poor kid will have to explain one mommy carried another mommy's egg that was fertilized with a sperm donor! Haha

clt2pwm11 · October 2015

I didn't intend for my statement to offend, so sorry if it did. I know this is a stressful, emotional ride. I was trying to convey how limited I feel in my options. If our current treatment doesn't work, there's only so much more we can do.

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