Birth Plan Worries

ajmcarroll · October 2015

DH and I are taking childbirth prep classes. As a FTM, I honestly have no idea what I'm in for. At the first class session they gave us a tour of the labor room, mother and baby rooms, C-Section operating room, and NICU. We went over basics, breathing exercises, and a birth plan was mentioned on what to pack in our hospital bags. My doctor hasn't really gone over that with me and I do not know what to expect at this point. I found a checklist that was mostly helpful from this website:https://images.thebump.com/tools/pdfs/birth_plan.pdf.

A few of things seem to be preferences versus what would need to happen medically. I've asked my doctor so far if he anticipates a vaginal delivery or a C-Section due to my VCI. He said that he didn't see why we couldn't have a vaginal delivery unless there were complications. I asked if I could use a birthing tub and he said no because of my VCI (I'm pretty bummed about that). But that's the extent of 'our plan'. When trying to convey it to DH he pretty much brushed me off saying we'd probably cover it in class. Which could be true but I'm a planner. I know no birth goes perfectly as planned and I trust my doctors to make the right decisions, but I would like to also be knowledgeable and help make informed decisions on what pain medications I take.

How did you ladies create your birth plan? Did you have one? Did you leave it all up to the doctor?

savyjohn1 · October 2015

I would have the basics. Who I wanted in the room, and what type if any pain meds. No matter how much you plan, be prepared for things to go thier own way. These babies sometimes have thier own plan!! Both of my first two were very long labors, and I had to have pitocin to keep my contractions regular. My daughter came out with her hand on her face, and I had to have a pretty intense episiotomy to get her out. I hadn't planned for any of that in my birth plans. I also have yet to have my own dr. deliver one of my babies. Maybe third times a charm! Baby will get here no matter what. Take a deep breath, you got this!!

Ceridwen77 · October 2015

I googled "birth plan example", read about 10 of them, and then based on that created my own version. I wanted it to be succinct and cover what was important to me. I found some of them had way too many options and things that were of lesser importance to me and DH. I didn't want those items to water down what was critical for us.

It took some time but I think it will be well worth it; that way if certain situations arise we already have a plan and don't have to waste time trying to come to a decision. I know this will not cover every potential scenario and that nothing always goes as planned, but having some documentation gives me peace of mind.

MRSJESSICAX · October 2015

I am slowly making a birth plan which is mainly preferences in dot points. I am going into hospital with a pretty open mind and putting a lot of trust into my Dr. To be honest i just want this baby out the healthiest way possible!!
I will include who i want in the room, Partner to cut umbilical cord, skin to skin contact first thing, preference of pain medications etc.

Goodluck x

eamarat · October 2015

Not doing a birth plan. But I have read a few samples and have/plan to discuss anything from them that I'm curious about with my doctor. I figure in the long run, the healthy kid matters, not how the birth plays out.

MargaretC5 · October 2015

With DS I looked at the birth plan as my time to research labor and know the different options and interventions. That way as things came up I knew what was happening and already knew how I wanted to handle situations.
I discussed a few points with my dr at my appointments but my birth plan was really for my benefit. I also discussed it with DH and made sure we agreed. I did not have a written birth plan on paper I handed to anyone.

jschmitt82 · October 2015

I am a NICU nurse so I see the worst of the worst that can happen during a delivery and I have some specifics that my OB and L&D nurses might roll their eyes at but I don't care. I have seen full term kiddos with no issues during pregnancy end up dying in my unit from asphyxia and there is no way in hell I am not walking out of the hospital without my baby girl! I too like pp looked up examples of what they expect from a birth pla and kind of tailored my own from what I read and already know. I too know that no birth plan is really generally followed but I feel better with them knowing a little of what I expect!

BowWowBowie · October 2015

I googled and read up on a lot of them, due to how horrific my birth/c-section went with my DD, mine's pretty simple.

-NO students/interns. Period. They can learn on someone else, last time they screwed me up way too much.

-If at all possible: immediate skin to skin, delayed cord cut, and me having earbuds in with Christmas music going. (Planned C-Section)

mrsaragon · October 2015

My OB actually gives us already typed out birth plans which has multiple choice type choices on them. So you check what you want/don't want or they welcome you to write up your own. Personally, everything I wanted such as immediate skin to skin, delayed cord clamping and delayed bathing and several others were already on there. I'd say, Just discuss your wants with your doctor and bring it up to your SO or support person who will be in the room with you so will know what you want and they can be an advocate for you. I've been told a lot of women ask for things they don't want or don't speak up when certain things are happening and they regret it later. My husband knows what I want so if I start with the crazy talk he'll keep me and the doctors in check. Obviously if there's a situation that there's no other way to do things, I'll accept it, but not until it reaches that point.

MRSJESSICAX · October 2015

Also i had my midwife tell me and my husband the below - If there is any interventions ask these questions:

B = Benefits (Benefits of having this intervention)
R - Risks (Risk of having this intervention)
A - Alternative (What are my alternatives)
N - Nothing (What will happen if we do nothing)

Of course it would be much easier if you had a birth plan you wouldn't even need to think about the above.
But this may help some people??

Jame414 · October 2015

For my first birth plan went out the window....plan for the best...expect the worst. Things I hadn't thought of that came up.....can SO or family see baby if u have emerg. csection under general? Can he do first feeding with formula? I delivered at 11pm and didn't wake up until 2am..and couldn't hold baby until about 4 am.

itstheblackwidowbaby · October 2015

My "birth plan" is a few bullet points that I'm giving to my SO as to what I want. The second something becomes medically necessary for me or LO, he knows that I'm 100% okay with change. That said, most of my plan has to do with the visitors and my lack of desire to have them. It's a short "plan".

Pontot31 · October 2015

First I talked to my midwife about what is standard and then talked about what I could request/ decline.

The only reason I want one written out is so as new nurses come in no one has to talk to me or ask me the same questions.

Mine includes things like:

Don't ask me to rate my pain or tell me about my pain management options. I know them and will ask if I need something.

I want to remain mobile and not be forced into pushing positions.

I want the option to wear my own clothes or not (last time I changed into a gown after being in the bath tub).

I want a heplock, not an IV. And I want it in the top of my arm, not the top of my hand so that I can be on hands and knees comfortably. (I a. Identically ripped it out of my hand in labor last time and it looked like a murder scene in the room)

Unless there is a bleeding issue I do not want automatic cytotec pill or pitocin in an IV- which are both common now at many hospitals to cut down on hemorrhaging, but they make it very uncomfortable for the women who don't have bleeding issues.

Things like unlimited skin to skin are mandated in my hospital for a vaginal birth so I don't need to put that in there.

I am asking to give baby his first bath. He will only be wiped offed at first. We will dist a day or 2 to bathe him.

I am declining eye drops for the baby but want vit K and we want to wait for the hep B until his first doctors appointment 2 days after we leave the hospital.

I also have a CS section which includes skin to skin on the operating table- which is standard in my hospital.

And not to be separated from baby... Which only happens at my hospital if they are very short staffed.

And asked that our doula be allowed in the OR.

We've also asked for no pacifiers or formula.

All of our things came from asking about what's standard and discussing what I want. They have all been Ok'ed by my midwife.

mamavbs · October 2015

Pontot31 said:
First I talked to my midwife about what is standard and then talked about what I could request/ decline.

The only reason I want one written out is so as new nurses come in no one has to talk to me or ask me the same questions.

Mine includes things like:

Don't ask me to rate my pain or tell me about my pain management options. I know them and will ask if I need something.

Oooh I like this. I'm not having a birthing plan as such, I am happy to go with whatever happens at the time but I'm going to write this down. I remember being very irritated at being asked this and tbh it always felt like 10 to me... Until the next stage and then I was like oh no that's 10. Oh- no wait, this is 10 etc etc.

Edit quote fail

ash413 · October 2015

My hospital actually has everyone make an appointment with a nurse where they so a tour, go over common practices, insursnce , and make a birth plan which is in their computer system.

Mine is pretty sraight forward, thr hospital does skin to skin immediately after delivery, including c section. They actually don't allow any visitors for 2-3hour after in order promote skin to skin and BF. Baby stays in the room.

Basically birth plan just says I will request an epi if and when I want one, no suction, or forceps. No visitors while in the labor room. No formula/pacifier.

ajmcarroll · October 2015

ash413 said:

My hospital actually has everyone make an appointment with a nurse where they so a tour, go over common practices, insursnce , and make a birth plan which is in their computer system. Mine is pretty sraight forward, thr hospital does skin to skin immediately after delivery, including c section. They actually don't allow any visitors for 2-3hour after in order promote skin to skin and BF. Baby stays in the room. Basically birth plan just says I will request an epi if and when I want one, no suction, or forceps. No visitors while in the labor room. No formula/pacifier.

I wish my hospital did that. That would be super helpful.

lyankowi · October 2015

I did just a few sentences, last time I didn't do one and didn't end up with much that I didn't want. I wanted it short enough that people would read it. A lot if stuff that would be on my birth plan the hospital already does.

TacoSarah · October 2015

I've made a 'wish list', some of which has gone out the window already now that I'm being induced, but oh well, they get the general idea.

rachswi · October 2015

Rather than having a written plan, I've just talked with DH so he can be my advocate. Since I can only be so prepared for birth/labor/delivery, I'd rather not have a plan going in because I don't want to stick to it like a hard and fast rule. I know if I "overplan," it'll be worse for me personally. So I'm mostly in the "wait and see" department for most of my plan.

nano1 · October 2015

I wrote up a very basic one for my first labor and the staff seemed to appreciate and honor it as best they could, so I redid it for this time around.

*I can't spell

oxley09 · October 2015

For my first child, I came into the hospital with a written out birth plan - bullet points of things I did and didn't want. I personally found that the list didn't make much of a difference - not in whether or not it was followed, but because the nurses just asked me how I felt about particular situations as they came up. The nurses and other L&D staff are not making copies of your birth plan and distributing them to your team for memorization. Better than a list is to just discuss your feelings about certain things that are important to you so that you know how to answer when the questions come - which they usually do while you're in triage and getting all checked in.

Someone tell me I'm not the only mom who doesn't want skin to skin before the baby has been cleaned up? I laugh a little bit at this, but I've always asked them to clean the baby up and do all the drops, suction, and APGAR stuff while I labor the placenta. I'm not squeamish or anything, but I just really prefer a) to deal with the rest of labor and delivery without holding the baby and b) that my first memory of my child not to be of he or she covered in.....ME.

)

flas · October 2015

oxley09 said:
For my first child, I came into the hospital with a written out birth plan - bullet points of things I did and didn't want. I personally found that the list didn't make much of a difference - not in whether or not it was followed, but because the nurses just asked me how I felt about particular situations as they came up. The nurses and other L&D staff are not making copies of your birth plan and distributing them to your team for memorization. Better than a list is to just discuss your feelings about certain things that are important to you so that you know how to answer when the questions come - which they usually do while you're in triage and getting all checked in.

Someone tell me I'm not the only mom who doesn't want skin to skin before the baby has been cleaned up? I laugh a little bit at this, but I've always asked them to clean the baby up and do all the drops, suction, and APGAR stuff while I labor the placenta. I'm not squeamish or anything, but I just really prefer a) to deal with the rest of labor and delivery without holding the baby and b) that my first memory of my child not to be of he or she covered in.....ME.
)

I have never done skin to skin immediately. This is my 3rd and I won't be doing it either. I let them clean them up and weigh them etc. It takes the team literally 5 minutes, which I usually spend birthing the placenta and getting any required stitches.

agerstner · October 2015

I didn't have a birth plan. I'm a nurse so understand the different meds available pretty well and how it effects baby etc. I knew I ideally didn't want an epidural, simply because I have a thing about voluntarily putting things into your spine. I didn't write it off completely tho and won't this time either in case my delivery is far different. Otherwise, DH knew he was the only one allowed in or there would be hell to pay. Other than those minor things, we played it by ear and everything turned out fine

I didn't have the option of a tub, or a may have taken the opportunity!

gkfk · October 2015

Can you make yours and bring it to your next dr appointment? I was lucky and OB suggested doing that (so we did). She looked it over and gave tips. Oh, and at the top i wrote, do whats best for mom and baby regardless of plan, so hopefully that happens too.

WeirdAlice · October 2015

At the beginning of my pregnancy I made a "plan" for each possible encounter.

Vaginal: the pain meds I wanted/didn't want, who I wanted in the room, how i wanted to birth,.. the basics.

C-section: what 1 person I wanted in the room, how I wanted things to be after the surgery, again just the basics.

Other than that I trust my dr to make the best decision in the moment as needed and we have already discussed that unless an absolute emergency, he would still run by what I wanted and ask before he did anything outside of the plan.

joforyoga · October 2015

No birth plan . I figure since Inhave no idea how it's all going to go down, we will take it step by step based on circumstance. If I can do it without an epidural I will, if not I'll get one. If an emergency c section is needed for safe arrival then that's what we do. I trust my midwives and they will be there the entire time with us.

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