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November 2015 Moms
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Any other NICU Mommies? (Sorry long)

makeoutside7makeoutside7 member
in November 2015 Moms
Hi ladies,

This morning I was discharged from the hospital and what I thought would be a night without my daughter turned into a possible 10-14 days depending on the results of a blood culture test. Coming home without her has been hard and I cried for an hour after I found out I missed her first feeding. I know she is a preemie and is receiving the best care possible right now where she is but it breaks my heart seeing her tiny body hooked up to so many IVs. I'm trying to take this time to do everything I didn't do yet since she was early like wash her clothes, buy a breast pump, and handle paper work with HR at work. I am also trying to heal and be in better shape for when she comes home but I can't help but be bummed out and depressed that she is not here with us. Any other moms been through this? How did you cope and what did you do to help time go by? Trying to be strong but it's been a hard day. Any advice is appreciated. Thank you.

  FTM due 11/06/2015
Married 09/21/2013
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Re: Any other NICU Mommies? (Sorry long)

  • dmiller1213dmiller1213 member
    No advice but I am so sorry you're going through this! Hugs
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  • ashleywuliashleywuli member
    I have no advice but I am sorry you're dealing with this! It must be very stressful. You will be in my thoughts and prayers!
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  • LSRooLSRoo member
    No advice but hugs mama!! It's amazing how strong you will find out that you really are when your baby needs you! You got this mama!! <3
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  • amandaherrera17amandaherrera17 member
    You have to just know that she is being taken care of, and go spend as much time with her as you can. My daughter stayed in for 10 days after i was discharged, she was 13 days old when she finally came home. It was so hard to leave her, and i was a mess constantly. Just remember that her health is most important at this time and ehe when she is 4 you'll look at her and it will only be a memory.
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  • modanz1modanz1 member
    No advice as I have never been where you are, but I can say that although 10 days seems like an eternity right now, it will be over before you know it and all will be right in the world.  Good luck and stay strong!
    YCSWU 



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  • Gapeach83Gapeach83 member
    No advice. I hope those days go by quickly >:D< hugs
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  • ReneeM19ReneeM19 member
    I am in a similar situation now. Our little girl was born 12 weeks early. She was in the NICU for twelve days and has been in the Special Care Nursury for the past four weeks. We are lucky enough to be allowed to spend every day with her but the nights are hard knowing she is in the hospital and we are at home without her. What has helped me through this is knowing that the little things I do for her ( pumping her breast milk, changing her diaper, reading to her and playing music for her) are all helping her develop. We have also been encourage to do as much skin to skin cuddling as possible.

    Are you able to visit her? If you are, ask the nurses what you can do to help with her daily care. The social worker assigned to the premie ward warned us that sometimes moms and dads feel like they aren't the parents because the nurses are doing all the care.

    Recognize all of your daughters milestones and celebrate them as what they are; One step closer to coming home to you.

    I hope you are all together very soon.
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  • SquirtgunSquirtgun member
    I remember leaving daughter in the NICU. I cried all the way home, and then cried because I was home without her!! Big hugs to you as you go through this!!! I know that you know she's getting the best possible care right now, but that doesn't make it any easier!

    The main things I did to cope with all the emotions of having daughter in the NICU:

    Doing things around the house for her. (Fold clothes and put them away, make little drawings to tape up by her NICU bassinet, buy her an overpriced stuffed animal from Amazon)

    Visit when possible- I'm sure you're doing this! But at the same time, don't feel that you have to spend all your time at the hospital- you have to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your little one.

    If you're into journaling at all, it does help to write about your feelings, your hopes for little one and your fears and sadness about her being in NICU. It is something that you can also share with her when she is older.

    I hope her NICU stay is as short as possible, and you have her home with you in no time at all!!
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  • grapesoda1111grapesoda1111 member
    Hugs mama. You'll be in my prayers!

    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • lakesideknitterlakesideknitter member
    Hugs, momma. Thoughts and prayers.
    Me: 28, DH: 40
    Married 9/28/13
    DS born 11/12/15
    EDD 8/13/18
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  • Ceridwen77Ceridwen77 member
    Wishing you the best. No personal experience but I'm hoping the time flys by for you.
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  • makeoutside7makeoutside7 member
    Aww thanks so much, ladies. This has helped so much. I was holding up fine all morning but by 3pm I was just a wreck. The hospital is only a mile away so we have been visiting as often as possible but we haven't been able to hold her or help with anything because she is all hooked up to the machines. She is always sleeping when we go and we don't want to stir her. I have been pumping and hoping to have more milk production for when she comes home. Thanks so much for sharing your experiences with me. Life is full of surprises and I was just not prepared for this. Thank you and wishing you all a healthy and happy birth. You ladies are the best. :)

      FTM due 11/06/2015
    Married 09/21/2013
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  • Knottie02638953Knottie02638953 member
    edited October 2015
    No advice on the NICU, but you're in my prayers! Before you buy a pump check with your insurance. I have Cigna and they provided one for free and apparently quite a few others do the same, I had it within 3 days of calling and requesting it.
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  • makeoutside7makeoutside7 member
    @knottie02638, I did go through insurance and it covered 100% of the evenflo pump but we went with the one the nurse recommended Medela, the one I've been using at the hospital. So it was only covered 40% and we ended up paying $225 plus tax (it costs $375 before insurance). It was expensive but the nurse said it was the best and it will last. Hoping it's true...!

      FTM due 11/06/2015
    Married 09/21/2013
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  • nmwheel1nmwheel1 member
    No advice, just wanted to send creepy internet hugs to you!
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  • Kristi4938Kristi4938 member
    My heart goes out to you, I can't imagine how hard that must be. Stay strong, she will be home soon :)
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  • semulcahysemulcahy member
    Creepy internet hugs to you, mama. I know that every person working in that unit will do everything they can to make sure your little bundle will be home with her favorite person soon!
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  • jpierre91jpierre91 member
    edited October 2015
    No advice just creepy internet hugs...hope your little one comes home asap



    *edit for spelling*
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  • Lsager424Lsager424 member
    Positive vibes to you and your LO. I hope that she has a speedy recovery and is home in your arms very soon! Congratulations!
    image
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • lulamagoolulamagoo member
    Hugs and prayers for you and your little one. I have no advice and hope you get to bring your baby home soon.
    image
    Baby Boy born on 1/14/13
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  • ltlitaly87ltlitaly87 member
    No advice but sending thoughts and prayers your way!
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  • kestes946kestes946 member
    I've been there and it's rough.. Give yourself lots of grace. Start pumping a lot so you can have them feed her at the NICU and start storing breast milk. You'll want to rent a hospital grade breast pump as that is recommended for getting the most milk out for NICU and preemies. My daughter spent her whole life (2 months) in the NICU and I would go up there as much as I could. It felt really good for me to pump and bring the milk up so they could give it to her via her feeding tube. Don't ever feel like you can't stay as long as you want or make excuses for not going, not sure if you have any other kids but I have a two year old and it was hard for me to balance going back and forth but don't feel guilty if you miss a night. Call there as much as you want to check in on her too. Sometimes I would call in the middle of the night or before I went to bed. Blessings and prayers sent your way and hoping she can come home soon or that the time will pass quickly!!
    My DH and I are expecting our first child! A boy.. we're thrilled :)http://www.thebump.com/profiles/kestes946/settings/avatar/index# BabyFruit Ticker BabyName Ticker Anniversary Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • sarahsnowballsarahsnowball member
    I have no experience here but I'm glad so many ladies were able to offer advice and reassurance. I'm sorry you're going through this - I hope the next 10 days go really quickly for you. I'll be thinking of you and your little girl.
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  • nessytessynessytessy member
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hoping you get to take baby home soon! 

     

     

     

     

     

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  • CmagnoCmagno member
    Sending prayers!
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  • LindseyKConleyLindseyKConley member
    As a mother to two preemies now, I can totally understand what you are feeling and going through! It is quite possibly the hardest thing I have ever had to do and go through, leaving my babies behind while I went home! I can't tell you how many times a day and night I cried because of it, but know they are exactly where they need to be in order to come home and be with you! I found calling several times (alright honestly more like 50 a day) helped me to know exactly what was going on and what my baby was doing when I couldn't be there helped. I am here for you, even if it's just to vent!
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  • CraigglesCraiggles member
    Sounds like you're already an amazing mother . Baby girl's in the hospital and you're doing what needs to be done so she has a safe and cozy nest to come home to--well done mom!
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  • AMG901AMG901 member
    Hey - I've only just seen this post, I feel like I've had no time at all to visit The Bump app - hope everyone is well. Great news to hear your baby is at home and doing well, yay! My son Jude was born early and had to have a brief stay on NICU but we were fortunate enough to be able to stay on the unit with him. You'll find now that that will become a distant memory, and I'm so so pleased you can begin your family life at home. Enjoy mama!
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  • SquirtgunSquirtgun member
    So glad to hear that your little one is doing well and home :)
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  • thefithuntressthefithuntress member
    So glad you got to bring Miss Hazel home! You've always been such a delightful contributor on this board. Hugs to your little lady and enjoy her. :) 
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  • oliarnmom1517oliarnmom1517 member
    So glad everything went well and she's home and happy and healthy :) congrats on your baby girl :)
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  • Kristi4938Kristi4938 member
    Such wonderful news and such a beautiful baby!! Congrats!
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  • Escheffler34Escheffler34 member
    So glad your sweet little one is home!! So very happy for you!!
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  • makeoutside7makeoutside7 member
    Thank you so much, ladies. Wishing you all a happy and healthy birth. Bittersweet that our time as N15 is drawing close to the end. Could not have asked for a better group of women to share this experience with! ❤️

      FTM due 11/06/2015
    Married 09/21/2013
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  • kesmeredithkesmeredith member
    makeoutside7 said:

    After a six day stay in the NICU, our tiny Hazel nut was released today and grandma came to meet her. Thank you ladies for all of your love and support. Feeling so happy and blessed to have her home. :x

    So so happy to hear she is home with you now! :x
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  • wulfpackgirlwulfpackgirl member
    I'm currently going thru the same thing and it does suck. Our little guy showed up five weeks early. Apparently there's something called wimpy white boy syndrome or that's what the nurses call it anyway. It takes them a little longer. He's been on the vent then CPAP then back on the vent now back on CPAP. Hoping to come off that tomorrow. I was doing ok until I was discharged. Leaving the hospital without your baby is just not natural and so hard! It just tore me heart out. We're hoping he'll be home by the end of the week.
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  • makeoutside7makeoutside7 member
    @wulfpackgirl yes! I felt like every day they found something new that needed treatment. I cried every single day until my breast milk came and I started storing it for her, it made me feel less helpless. I had a new purpose other than to wait around for my baby to come home, I was making food for her. The good news is that she has been sleeping like a boss because in the NICU, it is normally loud from babies crying, nurses talking, and monitors buzzing so she can sleep through a lot of noise. She is also used to sleeping without being held and being alone. It's as if they have sleep trained her! Hang in here, I know it's hard, just remind yourself that he is in the safest place getting exactly what he needs right now so he can grow and be strong so he can come home to you. Big hugs, mama!

      FTM due 11/06/2015
    Married 09/21/2013
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  • thefithuntressthefithuntress member
    makeoutside7 said:

    Thank you so much, ladies. Wishing you all a happy and healthy birth. Bittersweet that our time as N15 is drawing close to the end. Could not have asked for a better group of women to share this experience with! ❤️

    Just so you know a lot of women stick around long after their babies are born. I'm sure we're all going to have questions about stuff like feeding / sleeping / growing / scheduling when our little ones are here. You don't have to leave! :)
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