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October 2015 Moms
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Baby Blues

KristynLee15KristynLee15 member
in October 2015 Moms
I never thought i would experience this. As prepared as i thought we were for baby girl i am so completely overwhelmed. I feel like all i do is feed her change her and beg her to sleep. DH is back to work now so im alone all day with her.
We had a really rough delivery and a really rough hospital stay so inthought i was ready to be home.
Mostly i am so incredibly lonely. I have so many people willing to stop by or bring what i need. But what i really wsnt is at least an hour to sleep in the same bed as DH. I miss him and i cry all day.
Im doing so many of the things i swore i wouldn't. I.e. using a pacifier to sleeping on the couch with her. She sleep grest during the day but when it gets to night she wont sleep if im not holding her.
Sorry for the long rant. Any advice would be appreciated.
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Re: Baby Blues

  • millereliz13millereliz13 member
    I feel you! We have a bassinet with wheels that we have placed in the living room for now. I've found warming up his blanket and swaddling him (sometimes in 2 blankets) and if he won't go down in the bassinet after 20 minutes I'll put my rice pack in the microwave, warm up his spot with it and try that. We've also used the swing to get him to go to sleep.
    Being a new mom is hard, I've had to accept I'm no longer in charge. I'm sleeping on our couch for half the night and trade with my husband after 4 hours. I'm still healing from my c-section and can't do it all on my own. I've accepted that eventually I'll get to sleep in the same bed as my husband again. We celebrated or anniversary yesterday and we got to sit on the couch on the dark while ds slept. This morning, after another rough night, DH is back in bed and I'll nap later.
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  • Chloecross87Chloecross87 member
    All I can tell you is SLEEP WHEN SHE SLEEPS! If she sleeps mostly during the day, well, you'll have to as well. Trust me, get your sleep when you can. I didn't at first and ended up at the hospital for exhaustion.
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  • KristynLee15KristynLee15 member
    Thank you for sharing. I was starting to feel like a bad mother because of how much i miss DH. I have to remind myself i also had a csection after 6 hours of pushing andnim still healing. DH has really been amazong. Dealing with my crying and trying to comfort me and baby Evelyn. It just gets hard when youre so tired
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  • tracij12tracij12 member
    I second the sleep whenever, wherever comment. And don't beat yourself up for doing things you said you never would. It's impossible to predict what your baby will need and it sounds to me like you are doing a great job adapting and doing exactly what your baby needs!

    As for time with H, are the people who are willing to come by nearby? If you feel comfortable, ask them if they can take baby for a couple of hours during a time he is home. It may sound or feel silly to you, but if an hour or two in bed with him is what you need, don't feel bad about trying to make it happen!!
    Married DH 08.28.10
    Pregnancy #1: BFP 04.10.11 EDD 12.23.11 DD1 Born 12.4.11
     Pregnancy #2: BFP 5.12.14 MC 5.20.14 @ 5wk4d
    Pregnancy #3: BFP 11.1.14 EDD 7.5.15 MC 11.13.14 @ 6wk4d
    Pregnancy #4: BFP 1.31.15 EDD 10.5.15 DD2 Born 9.23.15
     
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  • ameares721ameares721 member
    I have also slept on the couch and tried a pacifier (she wouldn't take it). She has bad gas and it disrupts her sleep so much! Two things that gave really helped are gripe water (she loves the taste too so I have no problem getting her to take it) and the Ollie swaddle. Honestly haven't used any of our other swaddles since it came in the mail and it dramatically improved her sleep!!! I cried about everything the first two weeks and it has gotten a lot easier/better (now 4.5 weeks pp). Do you have a friend or parent/in law who can watch baby for a couple hours? I had to wait until the past week when I could get my baby to take a bottle since we are breastfeeding, but now that my husband can feed her I'm getting some extra naps. If you want a couple uninterrupted sleep hours with your husband, I recommend that someone watch baby outside of your house! I can hear my baby cry anywhere in our house so even though it's mommy nap time, it's hard to sleep because I know how to soothe her and it is difficult to listen to her cry while others try to figure it out.
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  • KristynLee15KristynLee15 member
    Last night was progress! ...sort of. I was able to get her down around 7 and spend some couch time and have dinner together. She still didnt sleep in the crib. Which i dont understand because shes there now no problems. Just seems to be at night. :( its not even sleep time with H im looking for...just time to be close. I love my baby girl so it makes me feel bad when im looking for time with H
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  • komorebikomorebi member
    edited October 2015
    To the OP, can you make your bed safe for cosleeping? Basically, firm surface, no extra blankets. It's safer to have her in the bed than on the couch (though i have couch slept on accident plenty, including this morning). Is there anybody who can come watch her a bit for a couple days so you can catch up on sleep? I'd definitely mention your emotional state to your OB. Even with a rough delivery, you shouldn't be struggling so much and there is nothing wrong with you, but your hormones can make things feel so bad. I've read that over 20% of women suffer from post partum mood disorders and i think some women are afraid it's a personal failing and it's not!
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  • KristynLee15KristynLee15 member
    Weve had a lot going on. Besides the rough delievery, my little brother is getting married this week in south carolina...we live in new hampshire. Hes my only living sibling and i cant be there. So that breaks my heart. And definately doesnt help my emotional state. Day by day things seem to get a little better as in i cry less. Im just trying to figure out how to balance life in general. I'm definitely going to talk to my ob if things dont continure to improve.
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  • marbrunmarbrun member
    edited October 2015
    OMG, this is exactly how I was feeling!! Very lonely, missing husband even though he's right next to me! All baby does is eat sleep cry and poop!! And breastfeeding was unsuccessful, Plus major issues with my own mother weighing on me. Along with a 34 hour labor that ended with c-section then baby being shipped 45 miles away to NICU and being separated for 4 days..... It DOES get better! I sit here and stare at my beautiful baby boy and wonder..why am I crying when I have this Awsome little guy?! Although it is a very lonely sad place for whatever reason. Just watch yourself, and definitely talk to your doctor if you suspect depression.
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  • KristynLee15KristynLee15 member
    Im glad im not alone with this! I definitely dont think its depression. It doesnt seem that severe. lm leaning toward hormonal changes and being a little overwhelmed. I almost wish breatfeeding wasnt successful. My husband is convinced breast milk is 1000000x better...so i told him id gove it a shot..and with using a nipple sheild she seems to do well. But i honestly dont enjoy it.
    We had a successful outting to the mall today which completely helped my mood :) now if i can judt get her to sleep at night somewhere other than my chest. Which is odd because during the day...she sleeps just fine in her bassinet..but come night, she wants noooo part of it!
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  • marbrunmarbrun member
    Have you tried swaddling? Maybe that will help??
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  • KristynLee15KristynLee15 member
    Ive tried it. But it doesnt seem to make a difference. I think its just going to be a work in progress.
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