Torn between paying or giving up. (Previous child mentioned)

yellingbanana · October 2015

So we've been TTC since April 2014. We started seeing RE in June. We have great insurance, but with constant billing mistakes from RE and insurance not covering the % they're supposed to unless we call every time, we are spending too much time and money on TTC. It's become a bonding point as much as a stress point for DH and I. I have PCOS, and while DH has been super supportive overall, every time a bill comes in the mail, the stress is written all over him.
DH just wants to stop seeing RE and let things happen on their own, if they do. I've been so focused on trying for one more child that I feel like we are giving up, my daughter starts kindergarten next year. I'm so happy to have her in our lives, but feel our family dream slipping away from us. The baby fever is intense for me, I'm torn with what to do.

ceclarlinetlo · October 2015

I'm sorry you are in such a tough spot - the money aspect of infertility really is just like pouring salt in an open wound.

Have you tried talking to your RE about the terrible job their billing person is doing? You can't be the only patient frustrated by their ineptitude - but if the Dr has no idea there is a problem with the office staff then they can't fix it.

jnissa · October 2015

It sounds like it's more than the money though. I mean, that's certainly a stresser, but if ultimately it's billing issues it's fixable. I also feel like some of this matters on your age and how long your window may still be.

I honestly think this: You guys should take a break. Emotions get *very* high in this process. Take a break. Walk away from it for a while. Take a few months off to just live and be a couple and try naturally (or don't). He matters as much if not more than your baby dream, and he needs a break.

Or, keep in mind, that you may be projecting. He may not be a stressed as you think. A fertility counselor would not be a bad idea if he claims all is good.

BrightenMySky · October 2015

Sorry, that sounds so frustrating, and totally unnecessary stress in an already stressful process. Have you sat down with someone in billing to talk through everything, including what you expect of them and what they expect for you? Is there another RE in your area that you would consider seeing to have another option?

yellingbanana · October 2015

DH has been dealing with billing, which means I'm not even sure where things stand. But he's shown me that our insurance is supposed to cover 80%, but when the code is entered wrong, they only pay like 20-0%. I'm going to lodge an official complaint.

Another RE, there are some, but I'm already driving 30 min. I live just outside of the city, drive into Bellevue, WA now. The next closest REs with good ratings are all in Seattle, which is a 45-60 min drive depending on traffic. And it's already a strain to go because it's so hard to take time off (I currently own an at-home daycare- talk about torture for TTC!).

DH and I had a big talk when he got home today. I'm closing the daycare right before Christmas. We are going to take a break from the RE after I finish this round of letrezole.... Debating if I should go pick up that $140 trigger shot from the pharmacy. We will still be TTC, but with only metformin for my PCOS. I'm going to try the Stork too, it's as close to an at-home IUI as you can get. I'm thinking that if nothing happens within another year, I'll try IUI. I'll have a teaching job by the fall of next year, so at least my income will be a little more helpful than what I'm making now.

Who knew that baby making could be so troublesome?

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Torn between paying or giving up. (Previous child mentioned)

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