What do I need before he leaves? — The Bump
Military Families

What do I need before he leaves?

Hi, I just found out I'm about 4 weeks pregnant. DH will be leaving for deployment when I'm around 18 weeks and I'm not sure what I should prioritize to get done before he leaves. Things like new parent classes, picking out strollers/car seat/crib. Anything else he physically needs to be around for? Also is it possible to find out the sex earlier than wk 20, perhaps with a 3D or 4d scan?
DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::

Re: What do I need before he leaves?

  • My husband deployed when I was five months along. We didn't get anything for the baby before he left. Do you have family close by? Or family that is going to visit? I waited until I was well into my third trimester before getting anything. My mom and brother came up and put everything together. My honest opinion? I didn't take any parenting classes. I wouldn't recommend them. Maybe a breast feeding class if you're going to nurse but otherwise, I kind of think they are a waste (unless they are free for you). 
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  • I do have family close and he should be back before the baby is due. Mostly I don't want to wait until the last minute to pick things out. I can buy them later, but things like a stroller and car seat he'll probably want to go to a store and play with some of the options.
    DD1: June '16 DD2: March ‘19 :::: Married since 2011 :::: USN Wife ::::
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  • I think your DH will be the best person to answer this Q for you. I know my husband is not interested in picking out any decor or big ticket items. He says whatever I want is fine. Most (judging by what I see on the bump and IRL) daddies to be really aren't that connected with the pregnancy or excited until later on. As for classes, don't stress. Check with your hospital to see what classes they offer if they offer any. My hospital doesn't recommend any classes until third tri. Also check with ultrasound boutiques in your area. Around here they claim to determine sex at 15 weeks. Keep in mind it is just a guess and you should really wait until the AS to find out for sure.
  • Anything large you should be able to have delivered. If you're going to paint, I would have him do it before he leaves. Also, get a specific power of attorney for DEERS, medical/legal changes.
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