Baby shower for baby number 2

MissMelisa · October 2015

Ok, I know that proper etiquette says no to a second baby shower, especially if they are less than 5 years apart. My fiancé and I don't totally disagree with this. But the first time around we had a boy and we are now having a girl. We have every intention of getting all of the big items like crib, infant car seat, and trading up our one child stroller for a two child stroller. We haven't been buying anything because we had some close calls and there was a close call recently where we may have actually lost the baby. Now that we have been cleared and given the everything is ok, our doctors are just idiots, we are coming to the realization we are down to 100 days and the holidays are right around the corner. To add to the stress my MIL says that it's fine to have a second baby shower with a registry and everything. My fiance's family is going to bring a ton of gifts whether or not we want them, so my question is, do I create a registry for smaller items so that I get the things I like rather than things I don't or do I just take a chance on the family?

Please be nice, I don't have the patience for rude people.

willashbaby · October 2015

Please read

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12627096/2nd-shower-questions/p1

ntyravgsp · October 2015

So are you having a shower or not? If you are, then a registry may help some of the family decide what they want to give you.
I'm not having a shower for this LO but I made a registry for the completion coupons and to remind myself of things I will want to get this time around that we didn't get/need for our first - and I have no intention of sharing it with anyone.

Also, this is a public forum, so you don't get to dictate the tone of responses you will receive from anyone who wants to respond. :-bd

Monilee1017 · October 2015

SisterSunshine · October 2015

So your question is, since they're gunna buy all that stuff anyways, do you create a registry to steer the tide of stuff. I say, just take what you get. You weren't having a shower anyways, consider it all gifts from well wishers. If someone calls and asks specifically what you want, then give them small ideas. Other than that, it's all frosting.

Kelley421 · October 2015

I agree with @SisterSunshine
Return or exchange if you aren't going to use the gift.

jrouge12 · October 2015

I don't agree with second showers. But I don't see why you can't set up a registry. You can benefit from things like a completion discount. If a family member or friend asks about a registry, then by all means share it with them.

JNGettinMarried · October 2015

I would set up a registry if you're expecting gifts, and even if you aren't. I made one just to buy from myself because there are always promotions for registries... when I had DD1, BRU gave us 10% of whatever was spent off our registry, up to $200, after she was born. We also got coupons and discounts to complete (or just buy more stuff from) the registry after my due date, which was a great opportunity to add things I didn't realize I needed and then use the discount to purchase. You don't need to advertise its existence to anybody who doesn't ask, but you might as well take advantage of the offers from stores, as well as your family and friends.

MissMelisa · October 2015

Thank you everyone. My MIL is throwing me one whether I like it or not, but I did ask that it only be a "Diaper Shower", all the guests bring diapers rather than gifts. When I talked to my MIL, she explained that the other grandchildren living in Texas, no one ever sees and they didn't get to do a shower. The only other girl in this generation was kept away from the family by the mother, so no one got to spoil her. They are using me to make up for lost time. So she is putting it on for the whole family to welcome the new addition. I agree that a second shower is a little inconsiderate, especially if the mother has more than one shower, but sense it is more like a welcoming party for the new baby, I accept it more. I still don't like the idea, but I am really getting no say. I appreciate everyone's advice.

ChrissyD1203 · October 2015

I would say do a registry for completion codes but don't tell your MIL, don't put on invitations and just take what you get. If you are getting all the big items - most of the other gifts will be functional type gifts or books, toys, clothing .... And for that kind of stuff isn't it all cute or useful anyway?

CharminglySouthern · October 2015

MissMelisa said:
Thank you everyone. My MIL is throwing me one whether I like it or not, but I did ask that it only be a "Diaper Shower", all the guests bring diapers rather than gifts. When I talked to my MIL, she explained that the other grandchildren living in Texas, no one ever sees and they didn't get to do a shower. The only other girl in this generation was kept away from the family by the mother, so no one got to spoil her. They are using me to make up for lost time. So she is putting it on for the whole family to welcome the new addition. I agree that a second shower is a little inconsiderate, especially if the mother has more than one shower, but sense it is more like a welcoming party for the new baby, I accept it more. I still don't like the idea, but I am really getting no say. I appreciate everyone's advice.

Honestly I would not dictate whet gifts your guests buy. I love buying baby gifts, but I'm not a big fan of being told what to buy.

Mommyduclos · October 2015

I had a similar shower with my second. I had friends who really wanted me to make a registry but I didn't- the things I needed- girl clothes, girly towels, receiving blankets, whatever not necessary but fun to have girly ones were not things I would have registered for anyways- everyone feels differently but I really only used my registry for items that I felt needed dictating- large items, some nursery items (so people know your theme) etc and avoided the things like clothes that people buy anyways, if people want to know they'll ask but you'll probably mostly get things like that otherwise.

FinePlacentaPie · October 2015

CharminglySouthern said:

Thank you everyone. My MIL is throwing me one whether I like it or not, but I did ask that it only be a "Diaper Shower", all the guests bring diapers rather than gifts. When I talked to my MIL, she explained that the other grandchildren living in Texas, no one ever sees and they didn't get to do a shower. The only other girl in this generation was kept away from the family by the mother, so no one got to spoil her. They are using me to make up for lost time. So she is putting it on for the whole family to welcome the new addition. I agree that a second shower is a little inconsiderate, especially if the mother has more than one shower, but sense it is more like a welcoming party for the new baby, I accept it more. I still don't like the idea, but I am really getting no say. I appreciate everyone's advice.
Honestly I would not dictate whet gifts your guests buy. I love buying baby gifts, but I'm not a big fan of being told what to buy.

This. If you're going to have the shower, let your guests buy what they want to buy.

SummerFall03 · October 2015

MissMelisa said:

Ok, I know that proper etiquette says no to a second baby shower, especially if they are less than 5 years apart. My fiancé and I don't totally disagree with this. But the first time around we had a boy and we are now having a girl. We have every intention of getting all of the big items like crib, infant car seat, and trading up our one child stroller for a two child stroller. We haven't been buying anything because we had some close calls and there was a close call recently where we may have actually lost the baby. Now that we have been cleared and given the everything is ok, our doctors are just idiots, we are coming to the realization we are down to 100 days and the holidays are right around the corner. To add to the stress my MIL says that it's fine to have a second baby shower with a registry and everything. My fiance's family is going to bring a ton of gifts whether or not we want them, so my question is, do I create a registry for smaller items so that I get the things I like rather than things I don't or do I just take a chance on the family? Please be nice, I don't have the patience for rude people.

I personally found this rude. If you don't want opposing opinions, why even bother asking any questions in the first place?

lyannast · October 2015

Do whatever you want. Nothing wrong with a second shower. My mum has had nine babies and about four of us had baby showers because I guess she just felt like it haha.
I mean, no one thought it was weird here. But I tend to notice us Australians seem more laid back in general. There seems to be rules for everything in other countries. America particularly. I personally find it really rude when people get angry at decisions you make regarding your own child. You've every right to be excited and have a shower

it's not hurting anyone, least of all your baby x

jrouge12 · October 2015

I disagree with the people who think a registry is "dictating" what people should buy. I prefer to buy people what they need and want so it doesn't get returned or disposed of. If the gift is really personal (like someone knitting or sewing something for the baby) that is one thing but straying from the registry often means your gift will be returned (if it can). A few people strayed from my wedding registry, the personal gifts I loved, but the others (like a hand mixer, which I already owned and had been given a nice Kitchen Aide stand mixer by my parents, was sold unopened for $5 at a garage sale because I had no use for it and no way of returning it.) So I guess the moral of my long pregnancy-brain raddled story is if you must stray from the registry (because thou shall not be dictated to) at least include a gift receipt.

ntyravgsp · October 2015

I think the people who disagree with "dictating" gifts were actually referring to the "diaper party" idea.

jrouge12 · October 2015

Ok my bad! Again bad day of full on baby brain! ;;)

Baby shower for baby number 2

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