To go to Mexico or not to go?

suteki325 · October 2015

Hello all my fellow February 2016 mommies!

Recently I've been trying to decide on whether or not to go to Mexico early next May, for DH's cousin's wedding. He and his cousin are very close (he was DH's best man in our wedding) and I would feel really guilty missing it. However, I would also be roughly 9 weeks post-partum (going by my due date) and I just don't know how I feel about leaving DS at home when he's still so young. My parents have graciously offered to watch him while we're gone, and we would only be gone 3 - 4 days...but I'm worried I would just miss the crap out of him and be worried 24/7, unable to enjoy myself. Not to mention I'm also afraid that my hormones/body may still be a wreck from giving birth only two months prior to the trip.

Anyway, the deadline for paying off the trip is quickly approaching and thus I need to make a decision. I told DH that I wouldn't mind at all if he went, and I just stayed at home with the baby. He was sad that I might not come with him, but he understands why I'm hesitant about going.

What do you all think? Should I go or not?

Achae · October 2015

I would probably opt out just because I plan on breastfeeding and I wouldn't want to deal with the hassle of pumping while away. I hate pumping so I'd rather miss out on Mexico and stay at home haha.

wisco29 · October 2015

I would opt out too but I'm going to nurse exclusively, and I am sort of a super paranoid crazy person when it comes to my kid(s).

Maybe you can agree to go on a vaca to Mexico in a few years with your h when lo is older and you're more comfortable leaving.

suteki325 · October 2015

I forgot to mention that I also plan on excusively breastfeeding (I'm a FTM so crossing my fingers that I'm able to), so I would have to pump a ton in advance in order for the baby to have enough milk while I'm away.

pettycrocker · October 2015

I wouldn't

Aussiechicka · October 2015

It's not just the pumping, it's emotionally really hard to leave your kid the first time (or it was for me) and I have a two year old and still haven't been away for more than a few hours. This age is about when I would start doing it if we had family around.....my hormones would have made me a mess about it at 9 weeks!

Achae · October 2015

suteki325 said:
I forgot to mention that I also plan on excusively breastfeeding (I'm a FTM so crossing my fingers that I'm able to), so I would have to pump a ton in advance in order for the baby to have enough milk while I'm away.

Not only that but for the days you are gone, to keep your supply established you will have to pump for every missed feeding (about every 3-4 hours would be my guess?) and then dump it unless you'll have a way to keep it cold or frozen while in Mexico and the flight back home.

g8trkim · October 2015

I wouldn't do it. If it was a closer relative it might be a bit different, but in this case I would say maybe just have DH go alone. Is this your first baby? If so, I don't seen any way you will feel comfortable leaving him. With each kid, it's been a little easier for me to part but as a first time mom I would have been a mess leaving a 9 week old. Plus, you could go overdue and he's more like a 7 week old. You will have a really hard time enjoying yourself. Also, if you are nursing that's a huge factor. Not just the pumping but also keeping up a supply will be tougher and baby may have a hard time being on a bottle for days on end.

VitaLuna · October 2015

I absolutely would not be leaving my tiny nursing baby behind. No way in hell.

Can you take LO with you? If not, maybe have DH go on his own, since it's probably more important to him than you.

ETA: my DD is 2 and I still wouldn't leave her behind while I vacationed for 3-4 days.

brushesnbrunch · October 2015

If you are deadset on leaving your baby home, I would stay as well.

We have a Mexico trip planned next year (way further in the year compared to yours) and have every intention on bringing our boy with us.

shilohtrzaskos1984 · October 2015

There would be zero chance I would leave a 9 week old. And with breastfeeding it would near impossible (I think). But more importantly when baby is that young it is really important for you and him/her to be working on your bond and attachment.

I know I've heard people say "the baby won't know the difference" but I have trouble believing that.

See if you can bring the baby with you! If you aren't worried about traveling so far from home....kids under 2 fly for free!

Twindling · October 2015

We went to Jamaica when our girls were 21mo. It was an amazing getaway for them and me. However 2 months is a little different.

I'd either take the baby or not go. But taking the baby also has it's own risks. Not sure if you plan on vaccinating but a 2 month old isn't really immune to much after the first round of shots.

suteki325 · October 2015

I am open to the idea of bringing him, but I worry that I shouldn't be bringing a 9 week old baby to Mexico. I know its far from a third world country, but I'm afraid his fragile immune system may be exposed to something on the plane ride or while we were there...not to mention traveling with an infant that young may be a headache. I think I've decided to just stay home while DH goes. I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't being "crazy over-protective FTM" by not feeling comfortable leaving him at home, even with my parents. Thank you all for your replies!

ccolekelly · October 2015

We are planning bringing our baby to California from Massachusetts at 6 weeks (based on the due date) since I am the maid of honor in my friends wedding. The doctor said that as long as everything goes well and I don't end up with a c-section it should be just fine. Babies can fly after about 2 weeks if they are healthy, and infants are actually easier to travel with than toddlers since they mostly just sleep. I have a colleague who took her 8 week old to Germany when he was born said it turned out to not be as big of a hassle as she was expecting. From what I have heard, feeding them as the plane ascends and descends will equalize the pressure in their ears.

Good luck making your decision!

mrsg82909 · October 2015

I'm sort of in the same boat.. very close family friend of DH is getting married in NC and based on the baby's due date (s)he will be 12 weeks old. Since that will be about the time I would be going back to work anyway we originally decided we would go... we would only be gone 2 nights, but then I found out the wedding is Mother's Day weekend... I'm a FTM and that changed my mind real quick, I don't want to miss out on spending my first Mother's Day with my child to travel home...

bauerkj · October 2015

I shot a wedding in the UK (yes across the pond and away for a week) 3 months after having my first and survived. Everyone is different though. Just know it's not impossible and to play it by ear.

SgtLou2 · October 2015

I would opt out, and here are my reasons: first, I always thought that it would be easy (emotionally) for me to leave my kid(s) for a get away. I was so very wrong. Going away and leaving DH to take care of DD was fine, but we just had our first weekend away from DD together and she is 18mo!! Second, if your baby travels with you to Mexico, he will not have a lot of the vaccines that you would probably want him to have as well as you will have to pay to rush to get a passport for him. He may fly free, but he still needs a passport. Third, traveling (flying especially) is not so easy with a young one. You pack a lot of crap and since you will be going somewhere in which there probably isn't a local Target or Walmart to pick up anything that you forgot, you will pack even more crap. Fourth, if you do leave LO behind, you will have needed to pump enough reserve to be gone the whole time plus some extra, which is highly unlikely by 9 weeks. You have to deal with pumping a trillion times a day (ok, every 2-3 hours, but it feels like a trillion). Which honestly does not build up the supply that baby himself would be building up if he were with you nursing. Also, you cannot use tap water there to clean your pump parts so you will be spending a lot of time and money on bottled water cleaning your parts and when you are done cleaning them it's time to pump again. Then you have to dump the milk (which has made me cry since you work hard to make that) or you have to freeze it to ensure that you can get it home to baby. So, my very long answer to your question, I would suggest passing. Traveling away from baby is hard; I could not have done it for all of the above reasons when my daughter was 9 weeks old (FYI, my first weekend away from DD was when she was 12 weeks... And I was only a 3 hour drive away).

twinmom1121 · October 2015

I would either bring baby with or let h go alone. My boys are almost two and I still haven't been able to leave them for the night! I never would have been able to go away for a few days at that young an age. And especially if you are planning on exclusively breastfeeding, I'm don't see how it would work! Do what you think is best though!

brushesnbrunch · October 2015

Not everywhere in Mexico has unsafe water. A lot of the resort towns have filtered their water, so depending on where the wedding is, water may not be an issue..

tooba22 · October 2015

I would opt out and send DH. It's hard to say how you will be feeling after your pregnancy. You might be up for it, but if not you are out the money it cost for the trip. As PP have mentioned it will also be quite the hassle to keep up your supply for BF. If you are afraid of upsetting his family by not attending don't be, people are so understanding when it comes to newborn babies they won't side eye you for not coming, they will however side eye (well, maybe) if you claim you are coming and don't show, this has to factor in catering food options for wedding and cost to have you attend.

Jilly82 · October 2015

I guess I'm the odd one out here. Yea, the breastfeeding would make it hard to leave. It would require a lot of planning, and pumping while you're there...but I would have no issues leaving my baby with people who I trust. I left my son for a couple of days when he was a month old (he stayed with my parents) and it made me feel like a new woman! Do what you feel is best and what works for all of you

dtaded13 · October 2015

I would either take him and wear him as much as possible to help with exposure (germs, sun etc) or stay home. We left dd for one night at 4 months old and I cried most of the time. I felt guilty, hormones, etc. Also at 9 weeks old baby will most likely still have erratic sleeping and I wouldn't feel right about leaving them with my parents.

Karen249 · October 2015

Not sure if you already made your decision but since I have insomnia I decided to weigh in. I, too, would definitely opt out. You have a perfect excuse not to go. I can't imagine anyone faulting you for missing it. When people do destination weddings (I assume it is), they have to understand some people are just not going to be able to make it do to a mulitide of reasons. Financial, time off from work, family etc. H and I had a destination wedding and we understood when guests couldn't make it. I can pretty much promise you, you will be so sad to leave your little one you will likely regret your decision to go. I can't imagine having to be away from my daughter when she was at that age even her now at a year and half would be too hard. Besides you will be so tired and sore for the first few weeks/months that laying low will be much more appealing when the time comes. I am sure after your sweet baby is born your husband (although missing you) will be more comfortable that you are home looking after the little one too than anyone else. That will give him some peace of mind. Maybe to make up for it, you can invite the newly wed couple over for a night/weekend later on after the fact. And get a full run down of the wedding with photos and stories. So you can be part of it in your own way.

jennt76 · October 2015

brushesnbrunch said:
If you are deadset on leaving your baby home, I would stay as well.

We have a Mexico trip planned next year (way further in the year compared to yours) and have every intention on bringing our boy with us.

tdart14 · October 2015

I wouldn't have issues leaving my LO when they are that young with people I trust. However the logistics of it seem to be against you. The pumping and dumping, trying to get enough stored. It just might not be possible. Nipple confusion or LO flat out refusing the bottle. Or getting back and LO refusing the Breast. I just don't see it as possible for your situation.

ashton2190 · October 2015

My husband was just reading this article to me about a poor woman who was forced to check her cooler of breastmilk that she had pumped in Europe. The bags then got held up in Europe for at least a day and all her milk was ruined. Plus she had always had supply issues and her son had used all of what she had in the freezer during her trip so she was officially tapped. Apparently there are a ton of similar incidents of you do a quick internet search, which is so sad. Just something to think about for those traveling and pumping

4N6s · October 2015

Can you bring him with? If not, I wouldn't go.

To go to Mexico or not to go?

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