Feeling like a failure...

missdaccortezz · October 2015

And extremely guilty. I have had milk supply issues since day 1 & my sweet boy is now 1 month old. My supply is up one week & down the next, today has been miserable. My poor baby is screaming for food every 30 mins, & doesn't seem to ever get satisfied. I went through this about 2 1/2 weeks ago & Lactstion nurse said it was low supply issue. I pumped just to see how much I could get out, & it was only 1.75oz combined! I loathe formula and never ever wanted that to be part of the plan, but I literally feel I am on the verge of a nervous break down. My poor guy has had trouble gaining his weight back as well, although he is gaining, the docs say it's just not fast enough. Someone just talk me off the ledge here. Need I mention I'm a FTM??
Thanks

FatPony · October 2015

I'm right there with you. My son is only 10 days old and I've completely given up breastfeeding. Things were going great at first, but after a horrible trip to the ER, we found out that my boobs weren't providing enough. My baby has an insatiable appetite and although I tried to pump to keep up, there was just no way. He's not even 2 weeks old and can go through 4 oz every 2 hrs! I also feel like a failure

and am dealing with some pp anxiety. Everyone insists it gets better - I hope they're right. Good luck to you momma

TeacherMom210 · October 2015

I don't have experience with breastfeeding, but I did want to say that you aren't a failure. If you do need to supplement or switch to formula, it really isn't bad. Truly. It's the most important to make sure that your LO has what he needs - whatever it takes to provide it.

ForeverEverAfter · October 2015

Pumping isn't an indication of supply. If he's gaining and having wet and dirty diapers, then he's getting milk. Some babies gain slowly. It could be a growth spurt, gas, or any number of things. If you're worried, see if you can do a feed with a LC where they weigh baby before and after, and watch for latch/technique troubles during. BF babies rarely have linear growth, and as long as they're gaining, they usually catch up in their growth spurts.

seamonkey4 · October 2015

Do you have time to just let him nurse basically all day? If you just keep switching sides, it should signal to your body that it needs to produce more. That being said, if he isn't having the appropriate amount of wet/soiled diapers, you could look into donor milk- better than formula and still gives you time to work on your supply. Don't rely on what you pump as an accurate measurement of what you produce. Baby is much more efficient at emptying your breasts. 4 weeks they also go through a leap, so he may be crying because of that. Do you have the wonder weeks app? If not I highly recommend it. My dd turned one month on Saturday and has basically been attached to my boobs. Partially for eating, but mostly for comfort. She only wants to be held right now. She will fall asleep while nursing, I put her down, she screams until I let her nurse again. Don't be so hard on yourself. He may want to be nursing for many reasons. And if you got almost 2 oz from pumping, that means he's getting more than that while nursing. You've got this mama!

mdk2015 · October 2015

I never thought formula was going to be part of my plan as well. I don't make enough for baby either & I supplement with 2-4 bottles a day with formula. She has been SO much happier, and is gaining weight much better. The vitamin supplement Fenugreek has helped my supply SOME. I struggled with guilt about giving her formula, I felt like such a failure. My lactation consultant made me feel so horrible about it, but my OB was the one that recommended the Fenugreek & has helped me more than any one-go figure. It got to the point where my husband was going to hide my pump because I became so obsessed with trying to pump enough after having latch issues. It will put you on that ledge & mule kick you off it if you let it. I had to get over the fact that baby eating formula was so much better than her screaming because I couldn't provide enough. Take a deep breath! We all just want to do what's best for our babies. Sometimes we have to adapt differently than we want. Keep up the good work!

jlawson23 · October 2015

I had two days like that last week. It caused me a lot of panic. I had to supplement 2 bottles because I was pumping only about 3 ounces the whole day. So I bought feungreek and I've been eating oatmeal everyday. Since Friday my supply has returned and I haven't supplemented again. I don't know if this will work for you as well, but it's worth a shot. Also, drinks lots of fluids and eat... Something I was also putting on the back burner.

tlc11934 · October 2015

You are not a failure. Formula has plenty of vitamins and nutrients. It's come a long way!

missdaccortezz · October 2015

So sorry to hear, it really is heartbreaking. I keep hearing "after 6 weeks it's much easier" but I feel like I can't go on any longer. My LO needs to gain more weight & I feel like I might end up in a nut house soon. I purchased some formula today.

missdaccortezz · October 2015

Oatmeal & Lactogal have helped my supply. Saw the lactation nurse today & looks like all the bottle feeding & what not has turned baby lazy with his latch- in turn supply went down. We're back supplementing with formula b/c he didn't gain anything all week. I have this overwhelming fear that something bad will happen to him from the formula. (My husband & I are hard core ""crunchy"" parents, eating all organic etc..) this will be hard but my baby has already slept better with one formula feeding & I had some time to actually rest.

Prayers for everyone!

cmlsu · October 2015

I had the same feelings of failure when my induction wasn't progressing and we chose to do a c section. I felt like I should have tried harder or I failed as a woman. My boyfriend told me that the decision to put my own self and wants and body aside and to accept and do what was best for the baby made me more of a woman and mother than if it had all worked out perfectly. It was exactly what I needed to hear.
I'm sorry this isn't going according to plan and you feel like your body is failing you. I hope it gets easier for you soon. Motherhood is difficult and rewarding in ways we don't control. It sounds like you are doing everything you can, and you are not a failure!

magdalena1977 · October 2015

I'm right there with you. My little man came early so he started off with a bottle his first week and a half of life. At first I felt he wasn't getting enough from my breast so I'd give him a small bottle after breastfeeding him. LC told me to cut out the bottle cuz he was eating too much. I cut out the bottle almost completely to find out he was not getting enough food he lost just over a half a pound in 10 days. Now LC wants me to reintroduce a bottle to top him off, he knew better now he won't latch at all. This past weekend was rough, I cried for an hour while he screamed fighting me on trying to latch him. I know we all want what's best for our baby. I wish you the best of luck, this should be a enjoyable time do what you need too to make it happen.

jwebbbber45678 · October 2015

Many women struggle with breastfeeding and turn to formula completely or use it to supplement. I wouldn't call any of those women failures. They are taking care of their babies with whatever resources they can. My baby gets one bottle of formula a day to give me a break. I haven't had success with pumping (I find it painful and time consuming and never produce enough). I don't feel like a failure and I don't like being lumped into that category by others, frankly it's insulting. Do what you can to get your baby fed and healthy and you are not a failure. A failure of a mother would be someone that leaves their kid in the hot car while they go shopping, not someone who feeds their child formula.

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