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2nd Trimester
jmjarling
member
Breastfeeding thoughts.....
jmjarling
member
So I got a breast pump I decided on ordering the medela back pack one. But I'm being told all these different things about breastfeeding and its making me ANNOYED! My mom breastfeed my 3 sisters amd I till we were 18 months never pumped....she's against pumps but I want my husband to have bonding time feeding the baby so i want to pump even though im not going to go back to work I still want to pump. I know the first 4-6 weeks you shouldn't pump at all unless your over producing milk.... So then the baby has time to latch on and get use to the nipple.... I have a breastfeeding plan already and my friends think im crazy and try to tell me that it's not acceptable anymore and ill just give up like they did since you can't do it in public. I think i don't care ill breastfeed my baby when and where ever i want.... What are your thoughts on breastfeeding in public ....and do you have a plan already to make it a success?
Re: Breastfeeding thoughts.....
I would practice modesty, such as using a cover, etc, but if your friends think you're crazy that's another issue.
There is nothing crazy about feeding your hungry child. If they don't like it, they can step away. Baby comes first, not insensitive friends.
You can pump from the start if you want to, but you may need to hold of bottle feeding for a while to avoid nipple confusion. You can freeze what you pump and use it at a later date (for your DH or a baby sitter maybe?)
I would however recommend you to focus on making breast feeding work in the begining. It can be really challenging to get the hang of it for both you and baby, so if you want to breast feed you should focus on that. Bonding time for DH can come later, once BF is established.
Before having a baby, I thought it was borderline nuts to openly breastfeed in front of anyone but my husband.
Within 24 hours, it was more of an "if you're in my house and you don't want to see my boobs, it's on you to go to another room" situation. I honestly give no shits who sees me breastfeed at this point. I have only had a situation where I needed to breastfeed in public once, at a football game, and I just did it. I did cover LO's head because it was drizzling and I didn't want her to be getting rained on while she was eating. If it wasn't raining I probably wouldn't have bothered with the cover. And my boobs were DD pre-pregnancy, so it's not like LO's head would completely hide them. Still, I do not care.
I did go back to work, so I needed to pump, but honestly I pumped while on leave not because I wanted to give bottles but because LO slept reasonably long stretches at night fairly early, so I'd wake up in searing pain and had to take the edge off. It was very helpful because my nipples hurt so much that I gave LO two bottles at 10 days PP to give my boobs a break (I did pump at those times, but the pump was completely painless in comparison to actually nursing). After two weeks when nursing was painless I only pumped when necessary due to engorgement. I have a slight oversupply, so that's probably why it was necessary for me. 99% of the time, it was overnight.
At the football game I mentioned above, I did not bring my pump...and LO was so distracted by everything going on around her, she didn't really want to eat for several hours. I was in a lot of pain, and really wished I had also purchased a manual pump that I could have had in the diaper bag just in case. I didn't bring my pump along because I figured I'd be with her all day...I failed to recognize that I could still need it.
Make the plan you are comfortable with, but please don't get to attached to it. SO MANY WOMEN have trouble breastfeeding, and have to either exclusively pump and bottle feed, or supplement with formula because of it. Just because your mom was successful doesn't mean you will be. So be kind to yourself, whatever happens. Women who are completely inflexible about needing to breastfeed going into motherhood that then wind up unable to do so can easily spiral into PPD. The only thing that is important is that your baby is fed...from whatever source is necessary.
Also, though you don't plan to pump much, I'd suggest registering for some extra Medela collection bottles, just to have around for when you do pump. My insurance covered I think 6 bottles that came with my pump, but the less you have to clean bottles the better, especially as a brand new mom.
No one here was bashing you, but rather being the kind of supportive that you need right now.
As for breastfeeding, every person on this thread offered a genuine opinion on breastfeeding in public, so your response is a bit of a slap in the face for those that have offered pertinent advice.
I NIP and I don't care. My kid screamed bloody murder with covers and wouldn't eat.
Your husband can bond with the baby just as well as you can-- bonding does not have to mean feeding. Bonding can mean cuddling, singing, reading books and changing diapers. So, pumping to bottle feed may be a viable solution if you need to take a shower or poop. However, you still have to pump while the bottle feeding is going on to not skip the stimulation of a feeding for your breasts. So, its not really more effective solution for bonding.
Pumping isn't the devil but I didn't care for it. I preferred baby at the breast if I could. Some ladies HAVE to exclusively pump for a variety of reasons. So, being categorically against pumping doesn't make sense. Its unreasonable to expect everyone to pump and its a tiny bit unreasonable to want to pump straight off the bat just because.
Breastfeeding is definitely "acceptable" and you aren't doomed. It is hard work for many in the beginning, but not impossible. You'll have to see when you get there.
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
I did prefer a cover. Partly for modesty, but it also really helped keep LO from getting overly distracted.
Also, OP - invest in a good breastfeeding pillow. They are awesome. I took mine everywhere when I was breastfeeding LO - even to restaurants.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
When you say: "since you can't do it in public" I am not sure if you think that you can't or if your friends think you can't. Either way: https://www.ncsl.org/research/health/breastfeeding-state-laws.aspx
I breastfed my son for 13 months and plan to breastfeed this one. Whenever, wherever. Using a cover is entirely up to mom and baby. In response to those who describe it as whipping out a boob in public - so what if that were the case? Realistically, nursing is typically quite discrete even without a cover; I'd bet that you have walked past a nursing baby and didn't even realize what was going on, and just assumed it was mom and baby cuddling.
As far as the timeline for introducing a pump/ bottle, well, that's again, entirely up to mom and baby. I had to introduce a bottle to DS at 3 days. We were extremely successful at breastfeeding from the first attempt through the next few days; however, then he went on a nursing strike and the bottle was the only way to get him to eat. The next day we went right back to breastfeeding with no issues. One tip my DR gave me was to use a bottle that mimicked the size and shape of your breast and nipple.
I think once you actually breastfeed, you'll have a better feel for "exposure." If YOU feel more comfortable with a cover (and baby can stand it), then do that - so long as you acknowledge that covers are not a requirement and that for some they are impossible to use.
I think you'll find that you won't just have a nipple hanging out for everyone to see. You move baby into position and as you bring baby to the breast, you are also uncovering the breast. Baby pretty much covers up everything that anyone else *might* see. (This is coming from a girl with DD's who breastfed and never really felt exposed.)
My suggestion, is just feel out what works, after babybis here you may change your mind, need to pump, not need to, baby may never take a bottle or do it like a pro, but you wint know till after baby is here...
Good luck...
Started TTC in 2006, LOTS of trying, and trying, and 7 rounds of IVF with 13 embryos, 2 perfect little boys and 5 loses....
All finished with babies, started to make diet changes, Keto, to be MORE for my kids, lost 30 pounds, still going, and 3 months in, I had a natural cycle, and then ovulated... Hubs and I are going to see what happens now... Maybe a natural pregnancy? After everything we have been through? Or just a return to normal hormones? We shall see what the future holds!
Baby Dust To All!!!
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
I didn't have a problem with public feedings last time and I quite frankly do not care what anyone thinks about it this time. The fact that there are people who are offended by women feeding their babies in public needs to change. In my opinion being offended by breastfeeding is sexualizing something that is not sexual. No woman should ever be shamed for feeding her baby in the most natural way.
As for pumping, I believe I would have lasted a lot longer breastfeeding had I made more use of my pump. You see the women in my family have very productive breasts which is great if you know how to manage them. I didn't understand how to manage my letdown. I had a very forceful letdown that would start to spray milk into my child's mouth and cause him to chocke. He'd get upset and wouldn't take my breast but he would still be hungry. I would get frustrated and give up trying to offer my breast.
Looking back (had I thought of it then) I should have pumped a little bit before trying to latch so that I could have relieved to pressure in my letdown. He wouldn't have chocked on my milk and neither of us would have gotten frustrated.
It's also very freeing to be able to share the responsibility for feeding your baby. It's nice to be able to give your partner a bottle while you get a shower or a nap or make dinner. It's nice to be able to go to an appointment. It's nice to be able to watch your partner spend a little one on one with your baby.
You've got to decide what's best for you and your family. If you feel that giving your partner the opportunity to bond this way is important then that's what you should do.
Consider what friends and family have to say and decide for yourself if what they have to say resonates with you.
It's also harsh to tell someone they shouldn't nurse their baby and tell them that they will give up. Why not be encouraging of each other and try to help them do what they strive to do instead of setting them up for failure?
I don't cover when nursing in public, and I don't use special breastfeeding clothes (I think they are a waste of money). I normally wear a tank top or cami under my shirt; bottom shirt goes down, top shirt goes up. On occasion, I wear a scarf as well. I've never received a negative comment in public.
If you feel more comfortable with a cover or going in a different room, go ahead and do it. But don't let anyone bully you into doing something other than what you feel comfortable with doing. Pumping if you want dad to give bottles, cover if you want. (Pumping too soon can cause oversupply, clogged ducts, and mastitis. So don't go overboard. You don't need to pump 2 ounces at a time for an occasional bottle!)
Seriously OP, you posted like your friends are pretty much calling you a failure before your baby is even born, so don't come blazing back in like we can't think your friends acted like jerks when you're the one hat made them sound that way. It sounded like you had no one on your team, so people were defensive for you. Also, what they said is ridiculous.
Anyhow, my thoughts on BF'ing in public? Until three weeks ago, I was still nursing my 4yo - she never tolerated a cover and I never forced her to smother under one. Neither will my 19mo - he's still nursing. The "obviously cover up" attitude is one of many that perpetuates the idea that (according to you) your friends have that it's "not "acceptable anymore" and it's offensive. If you and your baby are comfortable with udder covers (I'm not a cow with udders, thx) or happy to pay for pricey fancy nursing clothes then fine. My breastfeeding plan is to just keep doing it the old fashioned way over here. We are happy enough with that
And if you have oversupply issues, you don't want to pump; that can just make things worse.
My husband hasn't fed any of my nurslings (he did help feed our first baby who was formula fed), but he's bonded with all of them, doing skin to skin snuggling, babywearing, playing with them, bathing them, just being a papa.
March 2016 siggy: babies - expectation vs reality
Brian's Whovian wife (5/'09)
Autism mama!
LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:
This was not my idea. The nurses at the hospital introduced it to me as a great way to build my milk supply. I also had a preemie, so he got the pumped milk after his breast feeding. Sometimes he got formula on top of all of that (lost some weight in the beginning). I gradually got rid of the formula supplementation and then gradually got rid of the pumped milk supplementation. I still pumped after feedings for a long time when it was convenient for me to do it.